Three Men and Their Ladies

twenty-twelve

2012-01-08T16:11:00.001-05:00

CHRISTMAS EVE, 2011.

hello friends. it's been a refreshing few weeks and hope it's been the same for you and your home. this time of year often conjures up a lot of emotion. whether it's thankfulness for your family, or sadness for the lack of it, gathering around a table with those you love or drinking their memories away. i was so shocked at the full capacity, (at least in looking at the parking lots) of many bars in the area on Christmas eve. we passed a few on our way to different gatherings and i was reminded again at how many people are lonely, not just during the holiday season, but especially then. and not that going to a bar makes you lonely, but i'm thinking that if given a choice, spending Christmas eve at the local bar wouldn't be on the top of your priority list. i don't know. i know nothing of true suffering, internally or externally. and sometimes that really bothers me. how "easy" my life seems. how lovely my family is, the Peace in my heart and the beauty of my husband's great love. i hesitate to call them blessings because it somehow seems that those without these things aren't "blessed" and that's not true at all. perhaps they are gifts. but even that sounds unfair. regardless of the perfect "name" given to these beauties in my world, i am so grateful. i am stirred again to embrace, be present, recognize and love what is before me.

CHRISTMAS EVE, 2011.

deep way to start off. sorry about that! it's quiet in our home this saturday afternoon, paisley is sleeping and the boys are at their favorite home, (other then our own).....it's about thirty steps from here and full of nothin' but peace and love and good food. jake is out cutting wood for our fireplace. somehow he managed to find and load about 40 tree trunks onto his trailer! often i just sit back and watch in amazement at the stuff he gets done. he's not human. before i sat to write this post i was watching him out the kitchen window. he has this cute little thing he does with his lips when he's working, pursing them together and squinting his brow in concentration. i've never met a person who works like he does. and loves it at that. not going to pretend that i always appreciate or value that hard work. sometimes i just want him to sit down and put his feet up. but alas, he is a visionary, seeing what is not there and longing to make it happen! one of my first memories of him was watching him carry shingles up a ladder, balancing them on his back with one hand and climbing the ladder with the other. i was amazed then and it hasn't stopped since.

FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HER NEW HOME.

we received a christmas letter from my cousin. at the end of her letter she had this quote and i thought it was lovely:

"only those who number their days aright gain wise hearts. only they become God's sages: those calm, unhurried people who live in each moment fully, savoring simple things....unafraid of lifes' inevitable surprises and reverses, adaptive to change, yet not chasing after it...."

~Mark Buchanan from "The Rest of God"~

HEY, LET'S START THIS YEAR OFF RIGHT, GRAMMIE'S STRAWBERRY PIE!

what a way to begin the new year, a desire put into words. to live a life of calm, (which sometimes seems nearly impossible when the kids are fighting and "at" each other or when relationships, situations in your world are stormy). to be adaptive to change, (not necessarily to the change taking place around me, but moreso IN me). to savor, (to not be annoyed at the little things that need attention in life, not speaking of my children, but of the things they "create", the leftovers of imagination, the dishes after woofing a meal, the clothing after living a day).

"CHITTY-CHITTY, BANG-BANG" in the living room.

yesterday i came upon this blog post and it resonated so deeply and made me laugh too because it's the truth. you know it's happened to you, (if you're a mother of small children). the dear old lady at the store puts her hand over her heart and sweetly tells you to enjoy these days as a young mother because they go so fast, (and then you kinda want to run over her feet with the cart). well, this awesome blog post speaks right into that.....and it's a doozy.

WE BRING IN THE NEW YEAR EACH YEAR with our friends Wendell and MaryJo.
HERE THE KIDS ARE WITH THEIR OJ TOAST AT 12:01am, January 1st, 2012!

I'm 16 weeks pregnant now and my maternity bin the attic is calling my name! Lovie is about the size of an avocado, starting to grow toenails and it's tiny heart is pumping 25 quarts of blood each day!! After several attempts at finding the heartbeat early on, we finally heard it last week. Thanks to our sweet midwife who stopped by unannounced several times just to put my heart at ease. She was with us at each of our children's birth, such a special tradition. As I lay on the couch hearing Lovie's heartbeat it brought tears of thankfulness to my heart, my troubled mind and my struggling soul. Ever since finding out we were expecting again, I just felt prepared for another miscarriage. I was very fearful the first few months and it really messed with my head and heart. Forced a deeper place of trust. After hearing the heartbeat I feel more relieved. Although I certainly realize that this child is not truly ours at any point through its journey, from womb to grave.

TIME FOR TEA. I LOVE HAVING A LITTLE GIRL IN THE HOUSE.
SUCH SWEETNESS, (with a little spice in there too)!

This may be the longest post ever, so thanks for sticking with me. Just wanted to let you all know how much I've enjoyed our year together here in blogland! Thank you specifically for your kindness in the early months of 2011 when we were walking through the valley of death. Albeit, nothing like losing a child you have held in your arms or one you have raised by your side, yet nonetheless, a loss. Your sweetness and compassion lifted my spirit and I thank you for it. I am not certain what this year will look like as far as blogging. Having clarity as to where my limited "free time" is spent is becoming increasingly important to me. Isn't it amazing/scary how quickly the HOURS fly when you're online? It's starting to be disconcerting to me. So, for this month this post will be about it. I'll be back the end of January and we'll chat then.

THE CARRIAGE HOUSE AT NIGHT. FEELS SO GOOD HAVING GRAMMIE NEAR.

An inward focus is what I'm feeling drawn to right now. And as much as I enjoy my online time, it's becoming a little cage-like. In that I feel trapped by my own desires, my own online habits. There's a repositioning that needs to take place. And I'm thinking it won't be happening "naturally", but more intentionally so. Sometimes, thankfully, our eyes are opened to the unhealthy habits that have become second-nature. Geesh, maybe I should save all this for another post.....(bless your heart if you're STILL reading)!

A LITTLE MESSAGE FROM THE BOYS.

See you in a few weeks.....

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary

so that the necessary may speak."

~Hans Hofmann~

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM OUR HOME

2011-12-20T17:22:00.006-05:00

This is our Christmas card this year. We used CardStore.com and overall I'm very pleased with the company, (what really got my attention was the fact that they pay for ALL THE SHIPPING, including the stamps for all your cards~WHAT?)!! That really adds up at .44 a pop!

I won't go without saying that for some reason they hit a few glitches with our card. The front of our card was always correct, it was the back that caused all the trouble. At first it was funny, then annoying....take a look yourself:

SHIPMENT #1: not the right text.

SHIPMENT #2: not really sure what happened here!
Pictures cut in half and all jacked up!

SHIPMENT #3: can you find the problem?

   hahaha! Just a few extra words there,
"OPTIONAL CAPTION GOES HERE".
I just shook my head at this one and called the company again.
This time I asked for a full refund and 30% off my next purchase.
So, we ended up getting our cards for free, (with a little bother in there). And the kids had packages of cards to play with, build with and "deliver". So really, this is a completely pointless post that many of you could care less about, but I wanted to share anyway!

Several of our friends and family did use the company and had NO problems. I plan to use them every year because of the substantial savings in postage....plus their designs are so cute. And I have our addresses all uploaded which will make ordering next years pictures a breeze, (fingers crossed)!

It's Christmas week, but I don't have to remind anyone of that. I can hardly believe it's HERE;
upon us, in us, around us.

This culture demands intentional slowing down and I anticipate doing just that. It's so easy to get caught up in what HAS to be done, even within my own home, (laundry, cleaning, cooking). Stuff that keeps our little world spinning 'round. Sometimes I feel myself getting lost in that, feeling it overwhelm me because it's NEVER truly done.

Clothes get worn.
I share a bathroom with 3 boys.
Bellies leak.

What does slowing down look like? Propping your feet up for a bit? Turning the TV off and grabbing a book instead? Leaving the laptop lid closed for more than 24 hours? Those are some practical things, but I'm on the lookout for more....an INWARD slowing down that is manifested into outward actions. A calm of the soul, (not necessarily my situations or struggles because they will ebb and flow). Here's a quote that I felt summed it up for me:

"As soon as we are alone…inner chaos opens up in us. This chaos can be so disturbing and so confusing that we can hardly wait to get busy again. Entering a private room and shuttering the door, therefore, does not mean we shutter out all our inner doubts, anxieties, fears, bad memories, unresolved conflicts, angry feelings and impulsive desires.

On the contrary, when we have removed our outer distraction, we often find that our inner distractions manifest themselves to us in full force. We often use the outer distractions to shield ourselves from the interior noises. This makes the discipline of solitude even more important."

~Henri Nouwen~

Well said don't you think?

Dear friends, I will see you in again in 2012.

A new year is upon us and what a gift it is.

Fresh Hope.

Days unlived.

Treasures hidden within.

"I will go before you and level the mountains, to make the CROOKED PLACES STRAIGHT; I will break in pieces the doors of bronze and cut asunder the bars of iron. And I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know it is I, the Lord, Who calls you by name."

Isaiah 45: 2-3

MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS, NEAR AND FAR. May PEACE makes it way DEEP into your heart and mind this week and always.

Love, Janelle.

Our Suite Christmas

2011-12-19T20:17:00.003-05:00

Normally our room is the last to feel the "decorating love." I didn't want that to be the case this Christmas so today was the day I gave her a little makeover. Plus I needed to "de-stress" by investing into something other then refereeing the children!

Our old faithful Christmas tree that's been with us since the first year we were married. Just unplug it and take it to the attic each year...makes for easy set-up and tear-down!

Found these darlings at a flea market in North Carolina while visiting our dear friends.

Meet my vintage orange chair, (crazy comfortable and in excellent condition). Rescued her from an auction across the street, for $3!!!!
Jake kindly carried her home.

Cozy corner in which I rarely sit.

But when I do, it's quite a treat.

Crystal Shabby Chic shower hooks have more then one purpose!

This whole project got started with the idea to make a fresh wreath to hang above our bed. It smells so good and looks welcoming.

I had a small fake wreath in the attic that I wasn't using so that was my base. Just cut a few different kinds of twigs and stuck them in, anchoring them with the "fake" part of the wreath.

comfort & joy

Shamelessly stole some wrapping paper from the trash pile at my niece's bridal shower. This was the intended purpose. I think it's from Target.

Thanks for stopping by today.....

We wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS

and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

"Baby, it's cold outside."
~Dean Martin~

AND THE WINNER IS.......

2011-12-19T00:27:00.003-05:00

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO ENTERED. It was truly so heart-warming, (for myself and for others) to read about your childhood Christmas memories. And not surprising, most of them had nothing to do with some extravagant, expensive gift. On the other hand, it was TOGETHERNESS that stayed with us most.

Our winner* Sarah shares her memory:

"Growing up in Montana, Christmas Eve was a favorite time to ski as a family. I remember in particular how I'd watch the silent snow-covered forests pass below my feet as I rode the chair lift. Shifting my skis so that the powder would drop sparkling into the quiet below. Magic was thick in the air and my contented breath came out in billowing clouds."

So delighted for you Sarah!
We'll be in touch and see that this giveaway gets to you safe and sound before Christmas morning!

"It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air." ~W.T. Ellis~

*winner chosen by using the random number generator at random.org.

600th BLOG POST GIFT-AWAY!!

2011-12-13T16:38:00.002-05:00

It's giveaway time at
Three Men and Their Ladies!

Somehow 600 posts have been published over the past 5 years! Thank you for journeying along with us...
here's our small way of celebrating!!!

It's a cozy time of year, so all these little gifts will hopefully help you stay that way!

Let's start by spreading out your beautiful new burlap and lace table runner so lovingly created by Lauren over at
Paper Heart Studios.
She is quite the talented event stylist and I'm sure you'll enjoy her website, her inspirations and her products. Here is a better look at the details of her runner and it's LONG! It's stunning!

Here's your little birdie mug to be filled with hot drinks.

Maybe you'd like a cup of Starbuck's....

or perhaps you're a hot chocolate lover.

Enjoy your cozy drink while listening to this equally cozy cd by

JJ Heller and her husband, (autographed copy).
Here's a little taste of their music.
Soothes the soul.

And don't forget to wipe that hot chocolate mustache away, with your new paper napkins, before heading out the door!

Put on your new African handmade necklace and grab your new colorful "hobo" bag and you're out the door.....

These beautiful items are brought to you all the way from Africa by Mosaic Designs, featured under their NEEMA PROJECT. If you're looking for a unique way to give a gift this year, please check out their etsy shop Their store only has a small fraction of what they have to offer, so if you are interested in other purchases please do contact Faith.

To enter our giveaway please leave a comment with

ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF CHRISTMAS!

If you'd like to enter TWICE you could share this giveaway and let me know with another comment how you did so,(either via your own blog, facebook, twitter, etc.).

One of my favorite Christmas memories is when my parents told me I get to go with them to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. It was to be my first time on an airplane and we were going to visit my oldest sister Fan and her husband. They were living down there at the time and I missed them so much. I remember sitting on my Dad's lap when they told me. I just put my fingers in my mouth and laughed.

I was seven.

ENJOY REMINISCING....

we can't wait to read them!

All comments,

from near and afar are welcome.....

The winner will be picked on

Monday, December 19th.

being present

2011-12-12T00:01:00.002-05:00

What a busy week. Sometimes it seems like all the commitments we've made all meet up in the same slot of time, vying for our attention and mental energy.

That was last week.

I found myself just getting through one day at a time. Not in a bad way, just a very thought-out way, from one task to the next, to the next.
I don't like living like that.
Feels too bound up,
too aligned,
too prepared.

We don't have much planned for the Christmas weekend. And we like it just like that. Making the time to do nothing. Just be. Earlier this week I read a beautiful quote by my friend on facebook, (thanks Sarah G.). It really resonated with me.

"The great gift of uncharted, unscheduled, un"productive" time: an evening wide open enough to allow wrestling/cuddling and reading with our children, long deep talks out on our front porch..."

Doesn't that just FEEL nice. Just reading it? A lot of our nights do have bits and pieces of that description in them, but it feels like there is always "something" brewing beyond what our hands our actually touching: Plans for tomorrow, cleaning up, packing lunch, laundry, baths, bed, brush teeth, prayers, stories, hugs, kisses, fall on the couch!

It's not easy living in the present, but it can be so beautiful. A dear woman in our community died just recently. I thought of her the evening she died. Watching the sun sink down beneath the hill. Did she know that morning, that it was her final sunrise? That she would never see the sun set that day? But instead, she would be ushered to see the Glorious Face of the Son?

There's a desire in me, in many of you, to live life to the fullest right where we're at. I'll be the first to say that I'm not sure how that's done. When the "demands" of my day seem to outweigh my heart. Maybe it begins my acknowledging that "getting through" the day(s) isn't how we were created. Of course, there are seasons of trudging on, of deep valleys of death and grief, when the next breath is all we think about, of the mundane and the necessary. And they are just that, SEASONS,

not meant to be permanent dwelling places.

So, wherever this moment finds you, I sincerely hope you can find a way to be truly present.

You're definitely not alone in that pursuit.

“Our spiritual life is a life in which we wait,

actively present to the moment..."
~Henri Nouwen~

SPEAKING OF "PRESENT"....
COME BACK LATER THIS WEEK FOR OUR CHRISTMAS GIFT-AWAY!
IT'S GOING TO BE LOVELY!

Christmas Tea with Auntie Anne

2011-12-05T20:35:00.001-05:00

Hello Friends, wanted to let you know about this wonderful Christmas Tea that's right around the corner. YOU are welcome to attend, to relax and enjoy a few hours to yourself!

Gather some friends and pull up a seat. I've been asked to decorate for this event and look forward to making it sparkle and shimmer with all that's merry and bright! I'm going with a vintage silver and turquoise theme! Loves it!

Anne is sure to make it worth your time with her words of encouragement and inspiration. The food will be delicious and the company will be delightful, (and there may be a few surprises tucked in there too)!

Space is very limited so as to make it a more intimate gathering, (only about 30 ladies). So, please, if you can make it be sure to reserve your spot TODAY!

~~Please call Sharon at 717.442.0569~~

RESERVATIONS HAVE BEEN FILLED.

"The perfect temperature for tea

is two degrees hotter than just right."

~Terri Guillemets~

What I did today.

2011-11-28T22:10:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday. I took the children out for breakfast to my favorite diner, (Jennie's) where I spent many of my younger years! I always feel younger in there because that place has a way of transporting me back in time! It hasn't changed much in twenty years.

Today I did what I do most days,
just with a little more meaning:

Laundry.

Wrote cards:

Played games with the kiddos:

And decorated for Christmastime:

It was the perfect day and I couldn't ask for more
except for about 29 more weeks for Lovie to grow and form....... :)

"For each new morning with its light,

For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food, for love and friends,

For everything Thy goodness sends."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Dear Wife, I have something to say.

2011-11-20T19:53:00.032-05:00

Over the last week my husband has shared some things with me that he's been keeping to himself for years! YEARS!!(And don't get worried, we're doing just fine)!

There have been some habits that have became all too welcomed/unnoticed/undealt with in my life and he had to say something to me. He's a brave man, to breach that hidden territory of offense that so many of us, (I) can fall into. Although it wasn't easy to hear, the things he had to share, they were TRUTH and I knew they were there, my spirit knew he was right on. I just didn't want to acknowledge them. Because if you leave something alone it will disappear, right? It won't grow into something bigger and more deadly, it won't rule you or control you, it will just stay nice and neat and pretty, right?

WRONG.

Attitudes unchecked become character in action.

There are so many opportunities to take offense when someone THAT TRULY LOVES US tries to bring correction*truth*guidance. Notice the "truly loves us" part.

My heart felt so secure as he spoke into my life. He shared out of love for me, protection for me, wanting the best for me, for us. {And perhaps you don't have a husband, (or anyone in your life) that speaks into your heart, that wants to see you become the best you. I genuinely pray that if that's your desire that there would be an answer, a leading to someone that can help facilitate the wholeness God desires for you and in you}.

He will make a way, He's been doing that from the beginning.

"LOVE suffers long and is kind;

LOVE does not envy,

LOVE does not parade itself;

it is not puffed up,

does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own,

is not provoked,

thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity,

but rejoices in the TRUTH;

bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things...."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I'm a joke.

Looking at those "loving" things and holding them to the mirror of my life is laughable.

Truly.

And yet, my God promises so sweetly to HELP me, (and YOU) to become more like HIM.

To journey us into a place of
atonement and abandonment,

righteousness and refining,

holiness and heartache,

freedom and fire,

truth and testing.

And so I say DO IT.

Do in me what I want done in others.

"God's purposes in our lives lead to humility,

but Satan's purposes in our lives cultivate self-promotion.

The INTENT OF THE HEART

is always the dividing line between the two....."

~John Paul Jackson~

A Limo ride to Red Robin!

2011-11-17T20:55:00.000-05:00

To our surprise, Tyler was randomly picked as the Kindergarten winner for a special treat. He, along with one first grader and one second grader and Dr. Young, (their principal) were awarded a trip to Red Robin.......in a limo! :)

He was so excited, he could hardly sleep last night.
Honestly, he talked most of the food he would eat at Red Robin, more then the actual Limo ride. Such a typical boy!

We passed by Red Robin while they were there and snapped a picture of the Limo waiting for them.

"I was excited to go in the Limousine. It was all black and shiny and I liked it. It was my favorite car. I ate a cheeseburger, steamed broccoli and chocolate milk. And I got a red balloon that says Red Robin. And I went with two Emily's and I went on a Limousine. My favorite was eating lunch at Red Robin.

Love, Tyler S."

(he was reciting this to me as I typed)!!

Oh, my sweet boy! What a special day for you!

AMAZING DEALS UNDER $10!!

2011-11-11T11:17:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends, wanted to share with you some GREAT DEALS going on over at Willow House this month.

I'm very impressed with the items they picked to put on MAJOR SALE!

If you're looking for a teacher's gift, a thoughtful gift for a friend or a gift for yourself....please take a look here! If you're interested, you can place your order over at Janelle.WillowHouse.com. It will ship right to your door in no time at all!

Have a great weekend!

"The Lord loveth a cheerful giver.

He also accepteth from a grouch."

~Catherine Hall~

HOLIDAY EXTRAVANGANZA

2011-11-06T20:54:00.006-05:00

YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THIS ONE DAY ONLY SALE!!

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15th

NOON-8PM

HELD LOCALLY AT YODER'S BANQUET HALL,

14 South Tower Road,
New Holland.

over 20 vendors in one location!

Many successful designers will be present with their specialty items!

If you're looking for something inexpensive, unique and beautiful for yourself or for others, this is the place to be.

Here are just a few of the vendors:

MOSAIC DESIGNS- (handmade jewelry and bags from international destinations).

CREATIVE MEMORIES- (materials, ideas, and inspiration for capturing your photos).

K & A HOMEMADE SOAPS & BODY SUGARS

LovelyCozyPrettiness- (Nursing Covers, quiltlook blankets, car seat strap covers, burp cloths, stroller seat covers and more).

KAEJO DESIGNS- (hand knit creations for children and adults).

TUPPERWARE

BEAUTY FOR ASHES- (handmade jewelry made from glass, pearls, semi-precious stones, and metals).

PAPER POLAROID- (Handmade paper decor and novelties for your best occasions).

ITALIAN LANE PHOTOGRAPHY- (note cards and prints by local photographer).

PARTY LITE- (quality candles and accessories).

WILLOW HOUSE- (unique home decor and outdoor accessories).

THIRTY-ONE- (trendy and affordable purses, totes, and accessories)

A PIECE OF AFIKA- (handmade decor and accessories from Africa).

USBORNE BOOKS

CREATIONS FROM THE HEART- (flower headbands,clips & pins).

AMWAY- (focusing specifically on quality cleaning supplies)

AUTHOR SHAWN SMUCKER- (with his newest publication "My Amish Roots").

UPPERCASE LIVING- (quality vinyl lettering that will decorate any space you could think of).

TAIL FEATHERS- (the newest trend on the market, feathers as accessories).

AND MORE...............

Doors open at NOON

on TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15TH!

We'll be there to greet and help you until 8 pm.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact me:
JJ9702@JUNO.COM

randomness

2011-10-31T16:29:00.005-04:00

Experienced a beautiful evening last night with this husband/wife duo and my friend Kaelin. Front row and center, I could see her swallow we were that close! Sadly my camera battery died so this picture is from another concert they did. Anywho, if you have some extra money their newest release, "Deeper" is worth.every.penny, (or you could check back in a few weeks 'cause I'm including an autographed copy in my 600th blog post~~Christmas Giftaway)!! The song playing right now is by them. They were so chill and relaxed and she sang like a bird, effortlessly and full of passion!

Of course I could certainly post some pictures of this past weekends SNOW STORM!!

Although some of you are completely annoyed with it, (and understandably so if you are STILL without power)! However, we REJOICE when we see a big ol' storm headed our way as it's part of the our provision during the Winter months. My husband owns a landscaping business with his brother, so snow is our "manna from heaven" during our off season.

So, I came across this picture today.

It made me happy.

h and m summer addition

I also happened across this little "guide" and it too gave me a chuckle! (click on it you can enlarge it)

A few weekends ago my niece got married.

Oh, it was so LOVELY!!

It's now on my "to post" list which keeps growing, along with the beach trip with my girlfriends, (back in MAY)!!, the carriage house finished product, our annual campout and probably lots of other things I've forgotten about along the way!!

Guess that's the beauty of having your own blog,
you get to post what you want, when you want! (smile).

Here's one pic from the wedding that came out nicely!

Man, I love my little family!!!

And remember, this is ONE snapshot of life when we're all dolled up and on best, (bribe) behavior! :) It's not "real life" in the least!! There was an entire "children's area" at the wedding so they were quite excited to participate in the goodness that awaited them, (thus the quick smiles)!!

hope you're monday is going as smoothly as possible and that your laundry isn't overwhelming you too much!

"What is this life if full of care;

we have no time to stand and stare."

~W.H. Davis~

PORCH SALE TOMORROW MORNING!!

2011-10-21T15:59:00.001-04:00

COME ONE, COME ALL.

WE'RE HAVING A LAST MINUTE PORCH SALE TOMORROW.

LOTS OF GOODIES, VINTAGE AND OTHERWISE!

*BEDDING*

*FURNITURE*
*SHOES*

*HOME DECOR*

*JEWELRY*
*PILLOWS*

*BOOKS*
*KITCHEN GOODS*
*VINTAGE LOVIES*

TOMORROW MORNING

8AM-NOON

HERE AT OUR HOME.

FRESH COFFEE AND LOTS OF DEALS AWAIT YOU!
HOPE TO SEE YOU HERE!!

{PLEASE MESSAGE ME IF YOU NEED OUR ADDRESS~JJ9702@JUNO.COM}

Pinwheels and Lolipops!

2011-10-18T15:20:00.003-04:00

During our last outing at the beach we had a fun little photoshoot, (which as you know we rarely do)! haha! It came together quickly! At the last minute I found out my friend Adrienne, (and her amazing camera/picture taking abilities) were going to be down in Ocean City the same time we were. She kindly said yes to taking a few pictures of us on the beach. THANK YOU ADRIENNE!! My mind went right into "creative mode" and I thought of what I'd like to see.

I called my new friend Candace over at Paper Polaroid, to see if I could purchase a few of her DARLING PINWHEELS. It was 9:30pm, the night before we were leaving for the beach. In less then thirty minutes I was on my way home with a BOX FULL of bright, colorful pinwheels!! You simply MUST visit her darling etsy shop.

THANK YOU CANDACE! They were the perfect pop of color and so fun for the kiddos!!

In the middle of picture taking, suddenly Luke jumped down off the boardwalk into the sand. His little eye had spotted this and boy was he tickled!

My sister-in-law let us borrow the vintage bike that was at their beach house.

Lollipops and balloons and we were on our way!!
I didn't have expectations, (which is a good way to keep it fun for everyone). I mean, I did ask for smiles and to look at the camera, but I knew the props would add a lot. Even if there were only pictures of the kids interacting that would be fine!

My niece Ashley! One of my FAVORITE shots of the night! So cute!!

Yes, Paisley's shirt says, "I love my bike"! GAH! How could I say no to that? Found it at Target.

My all time favorite of the night! The sunset was amazing and the lighting was just right. All I did with this pic was up the contrast just a bit! Cannot wait to save and get this thing made into a giant canvas! Jake is so gracious, (what's new?) with all my "ideas." He's not afraid to try some crazy thing I might come up with, (take for instance holding a bunch of balloons on top of a sand dune)!

Enter: children.

Take 1:

Take 2:

Take 3:

Just forget it:

Personality Picture, that's what I call this one. Tyler is off in some dreamland, Luke is thinking/inquiring about something and Paisley is amused!

I may or may not have been saying "stinky fart", "poop" and other such terms to elicit smiles.

hey, no shame, (except i guess a little since i'm typing this in small font).

one last dip.

another day done.

"Great, wide, beautiful, wonderful World,
With the wonderful water round you curled,

And the wonderful grass upon your breast,

World, you are beautifully dressed."

~William Brighty Rands~

Our Anniversary Staycation

2011-10-10T22:29:00.001-04:00

Here's my honey with a little bit of "scruff" as I call it. I liked it, but it didn't last long, he likes a clean cut! We started our 9th Anniversary off at this local restaurant. We got all dolled up and enjoyed our fine dining. We love this place, but save it for special occasions. Our server was my cousin Bev's daughter, she was so good to us. At the end of our meal she brought us a dessert with "Happy Anniversary Jake and Janelle" written in chocolate! It was awesome.....and I didn't have my camera! We lingered for hours and then went to see "Courageous" on it's opening night. A MUST SEE. Just wish we would have had tissues. Lots of crying and so much inspiration.

On Saturday morning I had a 90 minute in-home massage! It was GLORIOUS and such a treat. The treat part was rolling off the table and into bed for a mid-morning nap after the massage! Didn't even have to drive anywhere! We lounged around here and then spent the day in the charming little towns around us.

Namely Ephrata and Lititz.

We ate lunch here. Oh my goodness gracious, that food was OUTSTANDING. I've always heard that "pub food" is so good, but this place totally outdid itself.

Half way through our meal this guy comes up behind us, (we were at the bar) and wraps his arms around Jake and I loudly proclaiming, "I knew it was you guys!!!" We were delighted to see our old friend Josh Hendershott. We've known him since he was a kid, but it's been years since we've touched base. He was a bartender there and again, we were treated like royalty. Food, drinks, desserts, he just kept them coming, all on the house! Such a surprise and very special to us! If you ever go there, you MUST have their famous sticky toffee pudding, (Shar~you and Ben would LOVE it here).

With our bellies filled we hit the town, (my gracious husband allowing me to get my eye full of all the charming vintage shops that Lititz has to offer). thanks baby!

We ended our day here, eating more desserts, drinking chai and the.best.hot.chocolate.i've.ever had, (the lady literally melted the chocolate before making it)! And she whipped the fresh cream before my eyes! Deeeelish!!

The rain started coming down pretty hard right after we entered. The back door was wide open so we pulled up a seat as close as we could, to hear the rain and enjoy the company. We read books and magazines, talked when we wanted to and then I beat him in this marble game like 18 3 times in a row. I'm totally buying him this for Christmas.

Sunday morning we slept in. We did nothing. It was amazing. We fed ourselves, drank hot coffee, read and stayed in pj's until noon. We simply EXISTED. Our kiddies came home around 1pm on Sunday.

As I mentioned in the last post, once I got my attitude in check and put on my perspective glasses, it was a wonderful time. We are so fortunate to have one another, to be in love with one another and to have the resources for such an extravagant experience together. It is not the case for many that we know and love. Truly, I feel like this time together was so good for us, (for me especially because Jake is more content by nature). To come face to face with my entitlement mentality and to be ashamed of myself. I didn't really know it was there, at least not so grippingly so. Thank you to my sister for keeping our children and loving them so much. We enjoyed EVERY MINUTE of our "staycation" I assure you.

"Hold my head inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years."
~Coldplay~

P.s. My niece walked down the aisle to this song last Saturday afternoon! It was BREATHTAKING!

Anniversary & a case of the bad attitudes.

2011-10-02T22:41:00.003-04:00

Last week was a bad attitude week for me. No one would have known it from the outside looking in. But it was there and it was threatening to rear it's ugly face to those I love most, namely my husband. Having to make a choice to stay home instead of flying off to some foreign soil, (or even a local bed and breakfast) wasn't easy. Why can't we just have enough to spend lavishly and do whatever we want? I was frustrated that we had to make a decision about it, have a conversation about the wise thing to do this year. My husband is amazing with the money he brings in, the provision and the allotment, the wisdom and foresight. I'm the one with the crappy attitude.

It was keeping me awake at night, my dissatisfied mind. I am married to an amazing man, we have a beautiful life together, three healthy children and a precious home, we have food in our fridge and new clothes on our backs, the list goes on and on. And yet, I had the audacity to allow myself to get worked up about not going AWAY for our anniversary. Give me a break. For real.

Don't get me wrong, going places for your anniversary is wonderful, it's a given really, or it should be anyway. Doing something special to set apart that day from all the others. It's important, deeply important. Yet, when the expectations for a good time fall only upon going away to some fancy place, or staying at the nicest hotel, or hopping on a plane out of town, then I think there needs to be a heart check and I had to have just that.

It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, the way you look at your life and your experiences, (or lack of experiences) completely influences who you are and the life you live. Do I have thoughts of resentment toward those that get to enjoy the "bigger and better" of life or am I willing, (and ABLE) to be satisfied with the little things? Truly grateful for what I do have?  Shifting my mindset from something I think I deserve, to gratitude for what's in my hands? WE DESERVED something better then staying home all weekend, right?  Our marriage celebration is worth more then sending the kids off for two days and nights. We're entitled to something grandiose, after all, we've been married nine years, (that last sentence is dripping with sarcasm).

Here's the real facts of life:  we're not entitled to ANY GOOD THING. All these extras on top of life, are just that, "extras". And they are beautiful, they make life taste so sweet, they produce that wonderful "looking forward to something" feeling, they fill us with happiness. But where is my JOY found? Is it in the experiences I have with Jake, the places we go and the things we see and do? Or is it found in him, just him and I and a hot chocolate? The simplicity of togetherness. I'm reminded of a quote by D.H. Lawrence that hung by my bedside during our dating years, I type it from memory. "To be content in bliss, without desire or insistence anywhere. This was heaven, to be together in happy stillness."

My thoughts last week were focused not on our love, but on the way we celebrated our love. That somehow is was less than because we decided to stay home and save a couple hundred dollars. Hear me out, we hope there is a day that we can pick any place we choose and go there with ease. If that's the case for you, that is AWESOME, truly! Hop on the plane and get the heck out of here and ENJOY! And if it isn't and you have a tough time with that knowledge, that's the place where I'm writing from tonight.

It's Sunday evening and the children are back home. We've missed them, the house was so quiet. Eerily so at night with three empty beds. This weekend we had together was perfect for us. It was cozy and quiet and simple, yet full of wonderful things. I'll share a bit more of what we did and where we went later on. For now, I just had to get those thoughts out of my heart.

It really is not that important WHERE you go, it's truly about WHO you're with. And like I said earlier, if you get to be with the one you love AND GO amazing places, that is wonderful and such a blessing for you. Be blessed and content in that!! I learned some contentment this weekend and I'm so glad I did. The little things popped out to me, the sweet moments we gathered along the way.
`
The point I'm making, (mostly to myself) is about contentedness and sometimes that is a process to learn and relearn. We are encouraged in the Bible to "LEARN TO BE CONTENT". It doesn't come naturally nor is it given freely, it must be learned. And as with most things we learn, it happens through experience. I came upon a wonderful article this afternoon that really summed it up well.  Below is the opening paragraph. Hope you enjoy it and I'll see you later this week:

"Contentment is not a gift to be received but rather a lesson to be learned. Paul makes this clear in Philippians 4:11 where he says, “In whatsoever state I am in I have learned to be content.” Notice, he did not say, “In whatsoever state I am in, God gives me contentment.” Contentment is a spiritual discipline to be learned. It is a product of resolving the struggles between what we want to have and what we know God wants for us."
~Richard Dobbins~

Summertime Dinner Club

2011-09-28T22:05:00.001-04:00

Seriously, this school business is for real. I.am.tired, (thus the lack of blogging, it's the last on my "list" to say the least). It's the adjustment to routine I guess, it's totally exhausting me. Sounds so stupid when I actually type it out, but it's the truth. Somehow the days just fly by and before I know it, it's bedtime. Perhaps it's the half day thing, (Tyler's only at school until 11:30 everyday), or is this what I have to prepare myself for? Is this the way it is, how life flies by? One school year at a time?

This I know, it goes by one season at a time as well. This past Summer we hosted our monthly dinner Club out in the gazebo. Come join us and relive it all over again.....
"The Colors of Summer"

"Each day, awakening, are we asked to paint the sky blue?

Need we coax the sun to rise or flowers to bloom? Need we teach birds to sing, or children to laugh, or lovers to kiss? No, though we think the world imperfect, it surrounds us each day with its perfections. We are asked only to appreciate them, and to show appreciation by living in peaceful harmony amidst them. The Creator does not ask that we create a perfect world;

He asks that we celebrate it."

~Robert Brault~

waiting here for You

2011-09-22T10:43:00.001-04:00

Came upon this song via another blog this morning and just had to pass it along.
REPEAT AND ENJOY! (you'll have to mute the music first at the bottom of this page).

He is EVERYTHING HE PROMISED!!!!

A little bit of this and that

2011-09-16T18:31:00.000-04:00

Hi There.

We're still here and all safe and sound. Grateful for so much. Max and Ruby is on in the background, the kids are tucked on the couch, cozy blankets wrapped around them. I'm considering starting the first fire of the season in our woodstove. There's a definite chill in the air and it feels quite refreshing. However, I will wear my flip-flops as long as possible into this Autumn weather

Not gonna lie, I'm really not into Fall being here already. This has been one of the best Summer's in a long time. We did so much together and all the children were a bit older making outtings and overnight stays that much easier. Two years ago Paisley was a newborn, last year Jake was working all Summer on the carriage house, this year we just lived and enjoyed life. It was sweet and treasured! Sometimes it feels like I'm just flippin' the calender and I don't like that feeling. Like I'm living life and it's passing me by all in one moment. The constant of life.

Made some grape jelly today with grapes from our vine. That smell takes me right back to my childhood. Standing under the arbor in our back yard. Reaching up on my tippy-toes to pull down some of those sweet treasures. Sucking the skin off and spitting out the rest. I know that's not really how you're suppose to eat them, but the fear of getting a super sour one kept me from even biting into it. I still eat them that way! Not that you really care! :)

a lovely picture i found online, sorry, i don't remember where.

It's "Fair" season around here. My belly is growling just thinking about all the yummy junk I will partake of! It's going to be cold tonight so maybe I'll pack some hot chocolate to go along with us. That might be a nice surprise when we get back to the truck to head home. Worn out kids and warmed up bellies go well together.

We're adjusting to Tyler's new Kindergarten schedule. I'm coming to enjoy it and not feel so bound to it. It's only half day which means my day is really broken up, so it feels. The mornings are going well and our routine is working. Get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, sneakers on, watch some TV until it's time to go. TV is the "reward" to getting everything else completed in good time. Needless to say, Tyler is loving school. He bounds in there each morning, calling out his friends names and waving to them from afar, catching up and chatting away, (and that's all I see until he reaches the front door). He loves people and it's a joy to watch. Knowing that he is making friends is wonderful and scary at the same time. Kids can be mean. Each morning as we approach school I say to him what was said to me my entire childhood, "have a fun, fun day and be kind to everyone."

Chopped my hair off last week. It was just growing and growing and I called it my mane. Each evening I faithfully braided it before bed like a prairie woman so as not to be caught up in the web that was my hair. It was getting old. I should have done this a long time ago. It feels so light and free. Locks of love on our 9th Anniversary. That was special. And my one sister had her hair appointment BEFORE me and my other sister had her appointment AFTER me. We didn't even try it! Loves it! I missed my hair for the first few days and wondered what I had done. Now I'm really liking it and making it my own.

Hope you each have a lovely weekend. I am sure some of you won't, given the circumstances you are surrounded with. And yet, even in the midst of that, I hope you can see one thing beautiful.

another great online find. again, don't remember where. dear copyright people, please don't sue me

"A whiff of woodsmoke on the wind, the first chill in the air, the woods just edged in gold. Light the first fire, time to put the 'home' in 'home sweet home'."~Susan Branch~

9 years with Mr. Stoltzfus

2011-09-07T20:29:00.001-04:00

My stomach is a little nervous, excited-nervous, not scared-nervous. I get like this when I think of the journey that my husband I share. It is so deep and takes up so much of who I am. And most of the time I feel completely undeserving of this amazing man that I call husband. He brings me joy unmatched here on earth, (don't be fooled, we can tick each other off too)! He takes me just as I am. He encourages me to be more then I am today. He believes in me. He loves me.

He is one of the most gracious humans I know. He works like a lion and loves like a lamb. I don't know how he does it all. How can he keep loving me so? And it's only been 9 years today, just a drop in the bucket of life I pray!

I am so in love with my husband.
I'm not afraid to shout it out from the rooftops, (or computer monitors)!! And Lord, my desire is to whisper it in the daily actions of life. I've got a lot of growing up to do. A lot of self left in me, so much at times it feels impossible to be the true me. I want to bring him JOY all the days of his life. I want to bless him. Encourage him. Love him good. But I'm just a woman and I can't do it alone. I am not a good lover when I'm out of touch with my Lover. There are attitudes and reactions and just yuk! that needs some attention. Thank you Jake for not giving up on me, on us. For loving me just the way I am. You deserve all the good that life has to offer and I hope to be apart of that goodness......may the Lord watch over us, protect us from the arrows of life and sing songs of deliverance over us!!!!

These pictures were taken last Sunday by my friend Michelle. She had a homework assignment, (she's in photography school) in which she needed to interpret a poem. She needed a couple and she called on us. Jake is such a good sport and went right along with it. I didn't "make" him do anything. He's a man, not my child! (Just wanted to clarify that to any scoffers out there)! :) It was a special hour together to say the least. She took some "real" pictures too, in addition to the more posed ones for her assignment, thank you for that Michelle. I dressed in the same outfit I wore 10 years ago during our engagement shoot. You can click here if you'd like, to see the rest of the pictures and to meet Michelle.

"My greatest fortune

in a life of brilliant experiences

has been to find you,

and to lead my life with you...."

~Winston Churchill~

13 Balloons for Tyler

2011-09-05T21:27:00.000-04:00

Suddenly this idea popped into my head. I couldn't wait to make it happen. 13 balloons for Tyler, one representing each year of his current and future schooling.

Every year he'll release one less balloon.

And then on the first day of his senior year, (seems like forever from now) there he will be with one last balloon. Makes me tear up just

thinking about it!

I love his facial expression here, my little Superman!

OH, that face!!!! Such delight!!

And so we're off...let the journey begin.

xoxo.

"You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant?" ~Dr. Seuss~

Martin's Bread Truck

2011-09-02T14:31:00.000-04:00

Several weeks ago I spotted this beauty. Of course I had to turn around and snap a few pics of her. I'm tellin' ya, if I had to drive a truck, I would want it to be THIS ONE!

She's even cute looking with her doors hanging open!
Love the robins-egg blue color and the big old pictures of bread in a bag.

I can see it now, me cruisin' down the highway in this baby, windows open wide and music blarring!

You know, that's just how I'd roll!

"Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly."~Author Unknown~

thoughts about not homeschooling.

2011-08-28T14:33:00.012-04:00

Tomorrow morning I send my baby off to school. My first child's first day of Kindergarten, (ironically it's my oldest sister who is sending her LAST child off to her first day of her SENIOR year)! The circle of life!

Oh, be still my heart! I'm SO EXCITED FOR HIM. We met his sweet teacher last week and saw his classroom, his eyes just lit up when he entered the room. Upon seeing his teacher for the first time he said, "Hiiii Mrs. Ditzleeer" in the sweetest, kindest, high-pitched voice you ever did hear! (he even drug out his words as written above). "I got this map for you from Dutch Wonderland and here's some meadow tea, it's from my house." He handed her a mason jar full of cold meadow tea and his little tattered map, so delighted with himself! He took a tour of his room and colored a picture, talking with his teacher almost the entire time.

For the past month he has been coming to me each day with a first-day-of-school countdown. He has his own calender on which he crosses out each day, (when he wakes up~~before the day has even begun)! :) And so, each morning he announces with glee how many days until he goes to school. "Only one more day 'til school Mom, I'm getting so tall like you, I'm going to miss you Mom and when I come home you will ask me, 'how was school today Tyler?'"

I have such a peace about not homeschooling him this year, although coming to that decision was not an easy one for me. A lot of internal wrestling. Feeling like a failure. Perhaps I didn't give it my all, if I would have tried harder then it would have worked, gone smoothly, blossomed.

Is something wrong with me? Am I too selfish to even try? These and many, many more questions......a journey working through this was mine this past Summer. Jake really left it up to me, this decision. He understood that it was I who would be taking on the extra workload and he was fully supportive in whatever choice I made. I so appreciate that about him. And he was gentle with me, firm too. He saw the stress I carried in trying to do it all. He saw that there were more days of me not enjoying it, then enjoying it. He didn't like the way things were going around here.And neither did I.

Don't get me wrong, we had a wonderful year together and I do not regret it one bit. We lived and learned together, so much quality time, we went on lots of field trips, lots of reading and writing and watching Tyler learn before me was exhilarating. Yet it still wasn't working as a whole.

Maybe my priorities are out of line. It's my child's EDUCATION so I should TRY HARDER to do it all. And quite frankly, I WANT to do it all and do it perfectly too. And that's the problem. I see others around me supposedly doing it well, almost effortlessly. But that's not the truth, it's not my priorities that are out of line, it's my PERCEPTION that's out of line. And I am NOT saying that if you homeschool that you are trying to do it all. It is a decision that you have come to for your home and it is working for you. And I am happy for you, I celebrate your life and it's ebb and flow. May this year be more flow then ebb, wherever you choose to educate your children.

There are sacrifices made within homeschooling homes that I know nothing of. Actually, some of my best friends homeschool their children and I DO KNOW just a bit of what they face, they tell me. The sweet times, the challenges, trials, victories, joys and confirmations. And yet, even in talking with them, I still do not fully understand. Can we ever understand someone elses life without living it? The high regard I have for my homeschooling friends is beyond words.

One of my deepest desires is to excel at all I try, at all I put my hand to. And that's not a bad thing, it's when trying to succeed at something comes at the cost of those around me, that's when it crosses over into something unhealthy. Something selfish even. Self-serving and done in my own strength.

Excellence gone bad.

I don't have any clear cut answers, no ABC's as to why it didn't work out with homeschooling him. I just knew it wasn't working for us, within our home and hearts. Not to say it never will, I am open to homeschooling Luke and Paisley or even Tyler at a different stage. I guess the bottom line is this:

And that's fine.

it's fine.

it is o-k.

it's not failure.

Dare I say it might actually be success?

Realizing this and living it out for yourself?

And so, tomorrow morning I send my baby off to school. My first child's first day of Kindergarten.

"Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations."

~Faith Baldwin~

p.s. my apologies to all who may be crying because of the first song, "Hourglass" by Mindy Gledhill. It's a tear-jerker or maybe it was just me. xoxo.

Crickets in my heart

2011-08-17T02:15:00.002-04:00

It's 1:30am, I should be sleeping. Not sure what woke me this early morning, but I can't fall back to sleep, so I'm writing. The moon is shining down through our open window casting a soft glow on my husband. My man who works so hard on our behalf. His callosed hands from Summertime block lifting being restored as he sleeps, to do it all again tomorrow. Because of love.

Paisley's crying so I went and offered her a drink of water. "You want a drink?"I ask, she shakes her mopped head of hair. "You want me to hold you a little?" "Se", (yes). She quickly fell asleep again and I sat in her softly lit room, her head against my heart, just listening to the crickets outside. It feels like there are crickets in my heart this morning. Just a constant, steady pulse of thoughts and feelings. Not a bad thing, just thoughts that seem to be sinking lower then usual. It's almost the end of Summer so they say and I'm pretty sure that's where the thoughts began. The Summer of 2011, when my precious kiddos were 6, 4 and 2, it's almost over. It's so bittersweet to me. What did we do this Summer? Where did it go?

The cool Autumn air is moving in, the clouds looked like Fall today. I feel it right now, my barefeet cold against the kitchen floor. Time for fuzzy slippers again.
Tyler starts school on August 29th. Not this next Monday, but the following. That's a cricket in my heart if there ever was one. I'll share more in another post about our decision to not homeschool him again this year. For now, it's just something that is heavy on my heart. This new and exciting season for him and this new and letting go season for me. I laid sleeping Paisley in her crib again closing the door behind me.

Sitting at the foot of Tyler's creaky bed I just stared at him. His tall body taking over that twin bed right before my very eyes. His head full of sunshine bleached blond hair resting on his favorite sesame street pillowcase. His Thomas pillow lying on the floor with his 123 book on top. He's been reading a lot lately, (making stuff up along the way). His "collection" of.....well, his collection. And I can't believe how worked up I get over their little mess of a room, (it's not even that bad). I probably need help to stop being so concerned about messes. What's the big deal anyway? It just feels like so much innocence before me, because it is. And it's overwhelming sometimes. That we're in charge of that, GIVEN charge over that. Over his life, their life.

Luke is sleeping peacefully covered in his "refreshing blanket", (a very, very lightweight quilt that seems perpetually cool to the touch). His guitar pillowcase safely tucked under his inquisitive mind. His dearly loved puppy under his arm, choked with love. Can't believe that things head hasn't fallen off yet, he's had it since birth. I've never seen a child move so much in his sleep, (that's why we hardly ever have him in our bed, our squirm-worm). I think of the precious card he made for his Paige. He composed it himself and ask me how to spell each word, meticulously writing each letter to perfection to the best of his ability. "Paige, I will miss you at college. Luke." He added some hearts in there and his favorite number, 100. I could have cried, probably did.

Here's a picture Paige took upon receiving it in the mail. xoxo

Thursday we go to Dutch Wonderland, our yearly tradition. Monday we leave for one week, our last vacation before school starts. We'll sop up the rest of Summer in OCNJ, (Ocean City, New Jersey). My cricket heart can't wait. There's just something grounding about being near the ocean.

Sweet picture created by Miss Kaelin, our babysitter and friend. xoxo.

Dinner Club in an old barn

2011-08-15T11:15:00.001-04:00

On the list of wonderful things we enjoyed this Summer was our monthly Dinner Club get-togethers! We started this in June, 2010 and have been meeting every month since then. Earlier this Summer we were at my cousins lovely farmhouse. They had an old barn that they tore down, leaving the old beams, creating an amazing outdoor room.

In speaking for all of us, these times have become nothing short of a REFUGE! As I mentioned in earlier posts, we each bring an appetizer or dessert so the cost of the evening is almost nothing, (besides hiring a sitter) and yet the food is OUTSTANDING!

On this particular night we decided to include the children. It went so smoothly as our "tribes" ran around the property exploring to their hearts content.

My cousin cut the legs off these old plastic chairs~~such a GREAT idea and the kids thought it was pretty cool too.

Shar's famous banafee pie. ooooh!!

All our kiddos.

Our gracious hostess.

When the sun went down, they started a movie on the outdoor screen. Of course, we had to introduce Tom and Jerry with the opening act of "Coldplay Live"!

So there we all sat, into the night.
Content and peaceful, with grateful hearts.

I love living life with my man.
Thanks Shar for the picture, it's one of my favorites from the Summer of 2011.

We do not remember days;
we remember moments.
~Cesare Pavese~

Sweet Summertime

2011-08-04T09:30:00.002-04:00

Hello Friends, as most of you reading, I too have been on the go, go, go.....drinking in this sweet season called Summertime! It's going too fast. A few nights ago I was visiting my niece's blog and she had this song playing, aptly named "The Summer." I'm in love. It's playing right now.

a magical night at my cousin Dave and Orpha's home for Dinner Club. We're hosting it this Sunday and can hardly wait to get creative with our outdoor dining.....I think I'll set it up under the walnut trees out back.

Father's Day at my parents home. We hired a bluegrass band to serenade our evening. It was awesome. I grew up attending blue grass festivals with my parents, (hated every minute of it), but now I actually enjoy the music. Oh my gosh, I'm getting old!

One of our trips to the beach. We've been there twice already for several days at a time and plan to return the end of this month for one more week.The kids are at such great ages to enjoy the beach.
Paisley especially enjoys "the pool", (ocean)! "Look at the waves Paisley!" I said upon our first time walking onto the beach.....
she starting waving and waving. It was precious.
~OCNJ~

"CANDY BALL" that's what Luke calls cannon balls....and I'm not about to correct him!

Enjoying one of our many days at Refreshing Mountain Camp.
There's nothing like being wrapped in a warm towel after a long day of swimming.

Our home away from home. Our Summer home. LOL! The kids don't care if they're in a million dollar beach side mansion or a camper in the woods. It's about being together! That sounds cheesy, but it's the truth. Even for myself.

Enjoy the final drips of Summer.....

"and there'd be sand in your pockets
and nothing on your mind."~Josh Pyke~

Less than

2011-07-26T22:15:00.000-04:00

See that little thing?
That's the "less than" symbol. And I think women carry it around and label everything with it. I do. I'm not talking about prices or discounts, number of children or dollar amounts. I'm talking about the feeling of "less than." It's real and raw and very much alive.

For some reason I had a thought yesterday about how often, (too often) I feel this way. And if you were to ask me I wouldn't say that my self-esteem is something I struggle with. Yet, throughout my life as a woman, wife, mother and friend I am coming up short. No one is saying these things to my face, it's just a sense I have. And I don't like it. I'm actually quite sick of it. Surely there are books or sermons or writings about why women feel the need to always be better then they are. I haven't read them nor do I care to, I just want to work it out in my own heart and mind. This feeling of "if I'm just a little more ", (you can fill in the blank for yourself) THAN I will be
MORE.
BETTER.
GREATER THAN.

These voices come to me at the most absurd times. Not when I'm out in a crowd or when I'm doing something that I love. They come to me while I'm making breakfast, "I bet other Mothers make their children hot breakfasts every morning." Now I am suddenly less than. They come to me while I'm dressing my children, "I should buy them something new, these shirts or sort of worn." Now my children are dressed less than. The voices whisper to me as I shower. "I should exercise more then I would lose this baby fat." Less than. When I open my cupboards, "This is so disorganized." Cleaning my home or caring for a friend, wasting my time or watering my flowers, decorating or disciplining, planning a party or preparing a meal. It's a constant barrage it seems.

And here's the kicker, it's not only me. This "voice" is heard throughout my town, it whispers in my best friends ear, and it shouts to the lonely and depressed. Who is it? Where does it come from? Some may be quick to name it "Satan" and yet I think otherwise.

Could it be that this voice is the voice of expectation? The voice that is always calling at us and trying to win our affection? Be MORE. Be BETTER. Be THE BEST OF EVERYTHING. Dare I say that what makes this voice so tricky is that at times it is the very thing that drives us, molds us and pushes us into a greater place personally? And therein lies the trouble, it's a voice that can sound so different at any given time. It can be maddening. Gripping. Binding.

You'll find no solution here, no great words of wisdom or advice. However, I do know 2 things:

1.) I don't want to be bound to ANY voice but the Voice of my Shepherd, Jesus. The One that calls out to MY TRUE SELF. The One that sees all I am, all I can be and all. Just all. Him Who has captivated my life. My Lover to Whom I pour out my most fragrant offering, often an empty perfume bottle with only one drip remaining.

2.) The "less than" voice is actually the one that thrusts me right into the place I need to be. If I let it, those moments of being "less", feeling less, show me where I am in true need. Not of becoming more or working harder, but of resting and ceasing from SELF.

So, tonight if you are hearing that < voice in your mind. Know you are not alone and you never were. And let not your heart be troubled.

"Teach me how to live, O Lord, lead me along the path of honesty....I am confident that I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living." Psalm 27:11, 13

Tyler's 6th Birthday Party

2011-07-24T22:50:00.000-04:00

My Boy is 6. Here's a little glimpse into his special day!
This is what he woke up to. It's so fun to get all prepared, knowing what will greet them in the morning! A few balloons tucked in here and there, a homemade sign, ("Happy Birthday Tyler, Now you are 6")! And bags of gifts....

Getting ready for his party.

His first baseball glove.

The cupcake decorating crew!

The freshly churned ice cream crew!

Grammie and Grandma. So special. So sweet.

His favorite gift: A Buzz Lightyear Costume with detachable wings!! I love the gleam of joy in his eyes!!!

He wore that costume all night!

Getting ready for the balloon release....doesn't take much to bring JOY to a kid, that's for sure!!

"You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again." ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau~

convicted.

2011-07-21T22:11:00.000-04:00

For the past few days I've been seeing this article floating around facebook, shared by various friends here and there. It's almost 9:30 on a Thursday night and I just finished reading it. I am convicted. I am guilty as charged. I am in need of a Savior, again and again.

"Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing."

"Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go."

"Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work."
~quotes taken from the article by Rachel Jankovic~

Here's the entire article if you're interested.

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

"I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;

Every hour I need Thee;

Oh, bless me now, my Savior,

I come to Thee."
~Annie Hawks~

My Summertime Vintage Kitchen

2011-07-14T13:47:00.003-04:00

Welcome to my Summer Kitchen! Last month I found this beautiful bookshelf at a local store called Garden Spot Furniture. You never quite know what you'll find there, my sisters have named it "The Treasure Place" because it sure is! I knew when I laid eyes on it that she was meant for me! Jake says it's his favorite piece in OUR HOUSE? What? Love that!

Country Time Lemonade, our favorite Summertime drink, next to meadow tea that is!

That vintage blender makes the best chocolate shake EVER. The top cake tin is used when taking desserts on the go and the bottom "bread box" has all the ingredients you need to make smores....including wipes! Makes it easy to take to the fire pit out back.

Little birdie hook from my friend MaryJo. I've been trying to find the "perfect" place for this beauty for years....a place to both display and use it. It's been found.

Having an array of coolers is important for Summer dining.
Vintage ice holder, ($1 garage sale), Vintage Mascot cooler~keeps drinks hot or cold, (.25 garage sale~I know, WHO sells that for a quarter)? Cloth cooler from Target.

A beautiful wine bottle with these great quality wrought iron corks. MaryJane's Farmgirl Wisdom, photobook, Emily Post's book of Etiquette, Cath Kidston's recipe organizer.

Bird dish from Pottery Barn, adorable glass measuring cups from here, (majorly on sale), working gumball machine from garage sale.

My pantry display.
Cute packaged food makes it to the shelf!

Craft central.
The drawers have snacks in them.

The new patio door is what started this kitchen switch-a-roo. Needed to move the items that were against this wall and get creative with some new arrangements.

Pottery Barn Kitchen was given to Paisley by a neighbor/friend of mine, (Thanks Jillian) her daughter out-grew it. Sad, but inevitable!

After many purchases, (and returns) I ended up using an old vintage comforter I had in the attic for our curtain. We had to have something with thickness there because of the heat during the sun setting. I found some shabby chic shower hooks at Target to hold it up.

The beauty and color of this quilt is breathtaking. Someone took so much love and time to make it. One square at a time. So beautiful. My Mom says it was most likely old flour sacks that were used to make this. Women use to exchange them with one another. If they had too many of one color or design, they would meet up and "swap" with each other! Love that!

Garage sale delights and hydrangeas from kind neighbors. And you and I both know my table/kitchen isn't always this neat and organized so don't be deceived!

Had that bench on the porch for several weeks and decided to bring it to the kitchen table last week. Really good decision.
Love the look and it's practical.

What? Don't you hold your kitchen window open with a rolling pin?

My "quick, I stink and someone is at the door" stash! Also used for various times of fast beautifying, like 5:10pm when my man rolls in!!

My desire.
And reminder.

Thanks for visiting my kitchen today.Enjoy your Summer!!

"At Summers start three precious months yawn lazily before us, filled to brimming with the promise of long days,
starlit nights and hours made for reconnecting."~Taken from the Life Beautiful magazine, (seen above)~

keepin' cool

2011-07-11T23:48:00.001-04:00

Just a reminder that it won't always be this hot!
So thankful to experience four GLORIOUS SEASONS here in Pennsylvania. There is something beautiful about each one. The picture above is a familiar sight most Winter evenings. Hope you're able to stay cool if that's what you need, or to my friends in Australia and Chile, hope your heat is working just fine for you and the cozy blankets are in abundance. Wherever you are in this great wide world, may you have all you NEED.

I've been feeling a bit of anxiety, (if that's the word) about how quickly this season of Summertime is FLYING BY ME, by us. I am drinking it in, making memories left and right and just living life. Yet somehow, each week is flowing into the next so suddenly it's almost shocking. I don't EVER remember it going this fast. Oh dear, am I getting old? Cause that's what "older" people say, how fast the days and years go by. Last night I laid in bed and just felt anxious inside. I don't like when that happens. I thought about all the closets I want to organize, all the laundry that was waiting for me in the morning, all the pictures that I've yet to print, (like 3,000 of them or some astronomacial number). The fact that none of my kids have "proper" baby books, the friends, (and their new babies) I haven't seen in awhile, how empty the fridge is, just STUPID STUFF.....STUFF THAT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. The more I let my mind wander, the more it did. It just went downs paths and up hills and all around streams and rivers and bridges, all "without" my permission. I just let it wander and it made me anxious because everyTHING I thought to "do" was MY RESPONSIBILITY, (or so I falsely thought and felt).

THESE EXPECTATIONS ON MYSELF ARE NOT HEALTHY!! They are not what I was MADE for, to measure up to all these things that I, (and those around me) deem important.

And so here I am at the end of another day given to me. What have I done today? I cooked, cleaned, loved, disciplined, folded laundry, (didn't get it put away though, what's new?), took ice cold lemonade to my hard working man, visited with a lifetime friend, and I lived another day. Nothing much "important" got completed, but I LIVED LIFE. I'M ALIVE AND BREATHING AND HEALTHY AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY. And I'm taking that PRESSURE right off my own shoulders, cause I'm the one who put it there in the first place.

"When you pray, don't pray like those Extra-Super-Holy People. They think if they say lots of words, God will hear them. But it's not because you're so clever, or good, or so important, that God will listen to you. God listens to you because he loves you." ~page 224 of The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones~

p.s. read this GREAT article tonight. Totally worth your time!
Perhaps if you click on it, it will enlarge it enough to read!?

Summer weekends and crazy sales!

2011-07-05T16:54:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends, what a FABULOUS weekend we had together. Jake said "the kids did more in one weekend then I did in my entire childhood!" Growing up Amish on a farm in the middle of Lebanon, PA, he's probably not too far from the truth!

Sad to say I didn't take ONE PICTURE the entire weekend. It was secretly liberating to not "capture" every memory!

On Friday night we went on a DATE!!  I love date nights. They make me feel like a woman, HIS woman! Remind me again to not go to "First Friday" in the city....IT WAS SO CROWDED and we waited one hour for our food. Normally that's not a big deal, but when your time away is limited, an hour feels like an eternity.  It was a great event, just not what we were looking for that night.

On Saturday morning Jake built the kids a MASSIVE sandbox. My little turd of a sandbox was "Jakeified" and it's awesome! I slept until 11am. Yes, you read that correctly E-LEV-EN AM! Can't remember the last time that happened, maybe 2001. Saturday night we got all decked out in red, white and blue and headed to the BEST 4th of July party I've ever attended. This woman knows how to host a party that's for SURE!!

Sunday we went to church. I say that so flippantly, but getting us all up and ready and out the door by 8:45am is no easy task. It's always worth it though! Then to a friends house for lunch and long afternoon naps here at home. Sunday night we got Ritas ice cream and watched fireworks at Willow Valley with some friends. Tyler got sick from rolling down the hill too much, but other then that the night was perfect!

Monday morning we packed up our new camper. We set it up for the Summer and Fall at a local campsite, (I'm going a little link crazy with this post)! We spent the entire day there swimming and hiking and playing.

Today my sister came by and we made bread. It's been awhile since we did that, it smells so good in my kitchen right now. After dinner tonight I'll be packing some stuff for the kids and I. We're taking a quick trip to the beach tomorrow and Thursday with a friend of mine. She works for a wealthy family near by and they own a beach front mansion so, no lie, I'm excited!

And last, but certainly not least...I HAD to let you know about all the AMAZING DEALS over at Willow House, (my new business venture). Apparently they are selling all the stuff in the Spring catalog, to make room for all the new Fall inventory. I could not believe all the CUTE STUFF FOR UNDER $15. Take a look if you have a few minutes. Five pages of delicious deals!!!!! If you'd like, feel free to visit my website to order. Their loss, our gain! Enjoy, it's going fast!!!

Thanks for sticking with me if you're still reading. Normally I don't give you our life play-by-play! Hope you have a great rest of your week. And I sure hope it includes some Summer Memory Making!

I'll leave you with a status update from one of my friends on facebook. Cracked me the heck up:

"My curfew was lightning bugs; my mom didn't call my cell, she yelled my name; I played outside with friends, not online; If I didn't eat what my mom cooked, then I didn't eat; sanitizer didn't exist, but you COULD get your mouth washed out with soap; I rode a bike without a helmet; getting dirty was ok; and neighbors cared as much as your parents did. Re-post if you drank water from a garden hose and survived."

Recharging

2011-07-01T09:25:00.001-04:00

This is where we'll be spending our long weekend. Our backyard. Pitching a tent, sitting around the campfire, getting new sand for the sandbox, setting up the new pool we got, enjoying the potato harvest from our garden, swaying gently on the hammock, watching the fireflies flicker and the kids run around with sparklers. Hopefully not breaking up too many sibling rivalries, watching movies on our giant screen and just breathing in LIFE!

Included in my personal "staycation" is unplugging from this here internet, especially "Facecrook" as I like to call it. It's been a welcome thief in my home for too long and it's just stealing my time! Each one of us are different so for some it may not be a problem, but for me, I think it's making me lazy. Just sitting around and looking at what "everyone else" is doing instead of getting up and doing my own doing! :)

Tomorrow night though we are going to a "Patriot's Party" at our friends house. Cannot wait for that....and to dress in red, white and blue. Wherever you are this weekend, I hope you will be recharged. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

"There is absolutely no reason
for being rushed along with the rush.
Everybody should be free to go slow."
~Robert Frost~

Willow House

2011-06-28T14:58:00.000-04:00

I am so delighted to announce my new business venture with Willow House. It's been years of being on the lookout for a home-based business that was "the perfect fit" for me and finally I've found it.

* Home Decor * Outdoor Living *

* Home entertainment * Dining

This company has it all and I am proud to represent them.

I am anticipating an exciting Summer of learning and growing and trying something new! Here's just a PEEK of my favorite things:

OH, the vintage beauty of it all!
LOVE the design, the quality, the detail!

If you have a few extra minutes, bop on over to their catalog at my personal website, (it even makes a "sweesh" noise when you "turn" the pages, like you're looking at a real magazine). Love that!! Over there you can also read a bit more about my thoughts in getting involved with this company in the first place.

Tonight is my Launch Party. Here are some of the GREAT items that are on sale right now, like the cutest red casserole dish, (pictured above) for under $30, with scalloped edges and handles! So sweet.

Have fun looking....

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
~Wayne Gretzky~

Plan B

2011-06-27T20:06:00.002-04:00

This is what we did on Sunday. And it was beautiful. We were so honored to be a part of the morning and M's dedication.

It felt like the morning was tailor-made for me, for us. I shouldn't be surprised because I don't really believe in coincidences. When I saw that the message was entitled "Plan B" I knew it would be restoring.

Here are some of the notes I took:

The problem with "plan B" is
there's no time to plan.

Could it be that "plan B" was "plan A" all along? Because of what is has helped us to become?

We focus on the DESTINY;
while He focuses on the PROCESS.

It's as much ABOUT THE PERSON WE'RE BECOMING as the stuff we're experiencing. And if we could only get ahold of that TRUTH we can live a wonderful life. We can ADJUST and ADAPT when our "plan A" fails us or our expectations.

I feel like I'm in "plan B" right now, I felt like that back in March too. But it's not quite as scary as it was the first time. I feel more abandoned to THE REALITY that I'm not even in charge of my life anyway. And you know what, there's SO MUCH FREEDOM IN THIS, in this not caring about my life and what happens to it. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and those in it, but they aren't mine,
MY
LIFE
ISN'T
MY
OWN.
And I'm more okay with that then ever before.

"The Lord will w-o-r-k o-u-t His plans for my life~~~for Your FAITHFUL LOVE, O Lord, endures forever.
Don't abandon me, for you made me."
Psalm 138:8 (New Living Translation)

carnival

2011-06-25T12:28:00.000-04:00

What a beautiful night we had last night. Remembering well the fresh word that I felt spoken to me, to "let my kids bring healing to me" we headed to a place of JOY. A local carnival was underway so we loaded up the kids and set out.

It was such a beautiful night, the Summer air blew gently, just enough to be comfortable with a light sweater on. The kids were so delighted to be there and us too. Paisley got a balloon upon entering, tied onto her wrist. She danced all night with that balloon, (until Tyler knocked her down in the middle of the dirt and she fell on it and it popped)!

It was another level of healing for me, just watching the kids LIVE LIFE!! I saw a few friends there that night, they were so kind to me. (Thank you Ang and Adrienne). Kindness is such a strong characteristic of our Jesus. He has a great personality!

I knew I needed to get OUT OF THE HOUSE, (showered and dressed and presentable). Our truck was in the garage most of the week so we were "stuck" here and that was ok with healing physically. But the kids were getting restless with all my restlessness. You know how it goes, Mama's attitude rubs off quite quickly on the kiddos! I was feeling for them because I was quite the grouch the last few days, tired and irritable and emotional. They don't understand what's going on, (we're not telling them about this miscarriage, they had a hard enough time understanding it the first time).

And so going to a place of joy was just the ticket. Speaking of tickets. Jake knew the lady in charge of the bouncy houses so she escorted our children from one bouncy house to the next when there was no line and the kids just bounced the night away! And then the man who was in charge of the pony rides was Jake's cousin, so he too gave the kids free pony rides! There was no line and barely anyone there so it was not bothersome or offensive to anyone else. But it was a blessing to us that's for sure, (with each ticket costing $1/person for one ride, it was a gift to us). I ate the BEST CARAMEL APPLE I ever had, (and I've eaten alot of them in my life). There was a rock band there and the kids danced in the yard until the sun set. A nice old man walked up to Paisley and gave her a stuffed animal, oh, she was so happy.

It was a lovely night, but it had a different awareness for me, stepping back and really taking the night in. I'm writing about it because I want to remember it, the details of it, the beauty in it. Again, the Lord, oh HE'S SO GOOD, met me very personally. I was looking for Him though, that always helps.

There's a song playing on my ipod right now and the words are singing:

"Don't let your eyes get use to darkness, The light is coming soon. Don't let your heart get used to sadness, put your hope in what is true. No matter how the wind may blow it cannot shake the sun. Lay your sorrows on the ground,it's time to come back home.

When the future seems uncertain, like the coming of a storm

Your loving Father carries his children when they can't walk anymore."

~JJ Heller~

another miscarriage

2011-06-24T14:16:00.000-04:00

It was a joyful Father's Day weekend as we learned the previous week that we were expecting another baby! Of course, after having a miscarriage back in March, I was so delighted to see that simple, miraculous word "pregnant." I was 5 weeks pregnant until this past Tuesday. I woke up to some light cramping and then the bleeding started. I knew right away what was happening, but was comforted by others words, (my sweet midwife and my friends) that this can often happen early in pregnancy and not to be too worried about it, but my heart was heavy. I can remember feeling a heavy heart before, always in relation to a death, as in literally it felt like a weight was resting ontop of my heart, still does.

That night I barely slept, moving between the recliner, my bed and the couch. I just was so restless because I knew I was bleeding our baby out. It's a terrible, terrible feeling to have. And sorry for the mental word picture, but it's the truth of what is happening. My body was preparing a place for this baby to grow and bloom and become it's own little person and now, like a thick winter coat, it's shedding everything that was once it's haven.

There was a beautiful storm that moved through, the rain falling outside was soothing mixed with distant thunder and almost constant lightening. Around 2am the electricity went out, (so thus all the AC units). The kids woke up one by one and cried out in the pitch black. Jake made a "nest" for them on the floor and they fell asleep in peace.

Earlier in the night, before they came into our room I clearly heard a tiny sweet voice say "Mommy." I popped open my eyes and reached my arms out to the side of our bed, I thought perhaps Paisley had somehow gotten out of her crib and made her way to our bedroom, but no one was there. Immediately I heard the Lord say to my spirit, "I'm holding her. Let your kids bring healing to you." It was a very real moment in my life and one I will never forget. I don't know how that's going to happen, my earthly kids bringing healing to me and all, but it was such a strong and clear word.

My family and friends are amazing. Yesterday morning my friend Jena had the children, took them to the park and out for lunch, then home for naps. That afternoon I was almost certain their eyes were sinking into the back of their skulls because of watching too much tv! Jake couldn't get home fast enough and our friends Scott and Angie brought us dinner, (I have the best friends in this world)! I'm so tired, physically and emotionally. I just want to sleep and not think about it, not have to process all this again. Yesterday my mantra was, "this just sucks" because it does.

Today I am writing because that brings healing to me, reaching out, not in, is what frees me. It's different for everyone, and not right or wrong either way. My husband retreats and heals. Not I. While chatting with a friend of mine she said some things that were so right on, "things which are out of our control are always difficult to accept. Trials are funny...they slam realities into our face that are actually with us all the time, but we don't focus on until we have to. We are not promised anything, although we live as though we are."This morning I sat under some praise music, (which simply means I put on some worship music and laid down on the recliner with my eyes closed). Some words that stuck out to me most were these:

"my heart aches for You my God, my soul waits for You my God, I've come far to find you here, in this place will I draw near. For I know You are faithful, my God. For I KNOW You are faithful my God. From the land of the barren, we will cry out for rain, fill our hearts God, I'll keep trusting You. {And Your Spirit inside me holds me close}, in Your Wonderful Presence I let go. For I know You are faithful my God.....I declare YOU ARE FAITHFUL."~Kim Walker~

This miscarriage has proved to be very different then the last one. Not nearly as intense physically, but moreso emotionally. So many questions and feelings of guilt and doubt about the future; Did we try too soon? Should we have waited longer? Why did I get pregnant again just to lose another baby? What's wrong with me? Will I be able to carry another baby full term? What will people say about me having 2 miscarriages so close together?
Mostly stupid questions, but questions nonetheless.

I WANT to share with you. I know there are some of you reading, who think it's too soon and I shouldn't be sharing such intimate details of my life on this great world wide web. But it's life and it's happening to me in living color. I'm not ashamed to share it with you, my struggles TODAY, my heartaches and questions. And really, that's why I blog anyway, to share my life. The parts of life that are beautiful and good as well as the valleys and sorrows. I feel raw right now, feeling so irritable and tired, yet restless. I'm sure it's partly hormonal too. Again, I am SO AMAZED at how quickly a woman's body regulates to "making a house a home" internally for her unborn baby.

Last time I really pushed into the Lord's presence, for comfort, for healing, for refuge and He met me right where I was, ever faithful. This time I'm feeling a bit more broken. I don't have the strength to reach out it seems and THAT'S OK. It's not about me being able to press in, or touch His garment or even cry out. It's just about me being His and that's enough for now....

"{We are perplexed},
but NOT in despair."
II Corinthians 4:8

Planting a garden

2011-06-20T12:20:00.001-04:00

Our garden is growing beautifully right now,
but it all started with a little seed....

Tyler wanted to take a picture and this is what he captured.
Neat. I watched my husband work :) while the kids did this.....

Fresh soil and little helpers.

Mama knows best, that's for sure....
we follow her instructions perfectly for SHE is the wise garden one!!

Those hands have worked more soil then I will in my lifetime.....acres upon acres!!!!

Our little plot on earth.....

"Plants cry their gratitude for the sun in green joy."

~Astrid Alauda~

is anyone free?

2011-06-14T09:29:00.000-04:00

"Who is free? Who is living out the life they talk so much about?" I cried these questions into my towel one night after my shower. After a difficult few weeks in dealing with a personal situation I have finally come to the place where I can cry it out. That's always healing for me, to just CRY. That release for me always starts the questions though, the sorting out. So, I'm up early, (6:30am) to digest a little bit in my soul. To me, to our home, that's "early".

Sometimes, (alot of times) it feels like so many people around me, (myself included) like toTALK about this life as a Christian; what is should look like, what it looks like in their life, what Jesus says it should look like. And I know I'm not the only one who sees this, hears this, all this talking.talking.talking. In all honesty, it just gets OLD. I'm like a child in this, SHOW ME what it is your talking about. Just be quiet and show me what true freedom looks like, A LIFE LIVED OUT LOUD.

There are so many of us, in the church, who are walking in such deep bondage, tormented. And yet, no one to tell, no one to share with, no one to cry out to because we must be as the church perceives us to be, "together", "perfect." And it's not just the church, it's our culture in general, (at least where we live). In our culture you are suppose to have it all together and not look undone. Looking undone isn't comfortable or nice or pleasant for people to interact with, so we just shut-up and stay bound up.

So, that's what brought me around to the beginning of this conversation, (or monologue is more like it, thanks for sticking with me if you're still reading).....who is free? Will ANY OF US on earth truly know freedom, (SPIRIT/SOUL FREEDOM) while walking around in these dusty bodies? Maybe we just get closer to that freedom as we understand it more, as we understand ourselves and the One Who made us and calls us.

"You will be ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (that's one ever for every year I've been a Christian) HEARING, and NEVER UNDERSTANDING;
you will be ever seeing but NEVER PERCEIVING.
For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, UNDERSTAND WITH THEIR HEARTS and turn, AND I WOULD HEAL THEM."

Just a little bit of what Paul had to say to remind the religious folks.... (Acts 28:26-27)

Paul was reminding ME of this. Janelle, don't be ever hearing and never understanding.
Don't be ever seeing and never perceiving.

God of my spirit, please give me SPIRITUAL ears to hear and eyes to see. Help my heart to understand what You're saying to ME, how You're directing ME, how You're calling out FOR MY FREEDOM, for MY HEALING, for my UNDERSTANDING.

{REDEEM US}

{RESTORE US}

{REINVIGORATE US}.

not for ourselves, but FOR YOUR GLORY!!!!!!!!!

Amen, (so be it).

Dancing in the rainbows

2011-06-12T17:24:00.001-04:00

*You can push play at the bottom of the page for a song that matches this post!*

I love so much about this picture. You can almost feel their joy and delight coming right through the computer screen. We have a blingy chandelier over our kitchen table and with the new patio door that Jake just installed, we have lots more sunlight in the kitchen. One night during dinner Tyler said, "Mom, there's rainbows in here!" And that's when we noticed the prisms all around us.

It was beautiful.

I pushed the chandelier so it swung gently and suddenly we had our own disco ball of sorts! The children danced around to their own song of life. It was a moment in time.
A stop.
A notice.
A memory.
There was such an abundance of innocence in the unexpected visitation.

I like that Jake's lunchbox and water jug are in the picture too, safely home once more. Each night I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear his truck pull in.....sometimes just for the mere fact of being resuced from the day, but more often then not, it's just the knowledge that he's safe and sound. If I let myself, I could worry about his safety and what I would do if he were no more. There's no life in that, (literally) so I try not to linger there.

It's the little things that make LIFE lovely or hell on earth, (think opposite of what is listed below). The things that can quickly seem "normal" or "deserved" or "our right" that REQUIRE OUR ATTENTION MOST:

*food on our table.
*health in our children.
*breath in our lungs.
*husbands that come home.
*clean water to drink.
*homes to live in.

The rest is just extra,
the unexpected rainbows in our life.

I have this quote written quite largely on our bathroom wall, right in front of the toilet in bright red letters so you HAVE to see it several times a day!

"Remember this,
very little is needed
to make a happy life."
~Marcus Aurelius~

Tyler is six!!

2011-06-07T10:08:00.000-04:00

It's my Tyler's 6th Birthday today. He announced to me this morning, "look how tall my arms are Mom, I'm six now!" Oh, the joys of BEING 6!! The SWEETNESS of a full life ahead.....

He's a lover of LIFE!! He laughs alot and cries easily! He is FULLY engaged in whatever he's doing. He loves friends, food and fellowship. Most nights during dinner, "are you done eating 'cause if you are, then I can eat the rest." (speaking to his brother or sister and their half-eaten plates of food). He's easily eats more then me.....at every meal.

He ADORES his baby sister and speaks to her in a high-pitched baby voice. He is so sweet to her, (unless she takes something of his, then it's not so sweet)!!

He is the leader of the pack. Often organizing pretend play and telling everyone what to do and what to say. I'm trying to work with the "bossy" part of it. As I remember quite clearly one mantra in my ear, "stop being so bossy Janelle!" (oh dear).

He loves being with his cousins. Here he is with Sophia when they were both so little! xoxo.

My precious baby! Oh, those days with just my baby and I.
So many sweet memories of our "alone" days.

One of my favorite pictures of Tyler when he was a baby.
"Safe in Daddy's hands" I titled it:

A very unfortunate first Christmas for the firstborn!!
Sorry about that Tyler.....oh, and the reindeer outfit too!

Aiden~Chase~Tyler, (and Bennett too, but he wasn't born yet when this picture was taken) his cousins,
some of his favorite people!

He was so BRAVE last year when he had a serious staph infection. The week long hospital stay, the shots, the PICC line, the antibiotics 4 times a day for weeks on end. He grew up a lot during that time. Another favorite cousin visiting him at the hospital, "Poopy Mitch" as he has been affectionately named!! (sorry about that Mitch)!!

Playing with friends.....

His hero.
His pal.
His Daddy.

Our traditional outing each year at the Fulton Opera House.
He enjoys productions on stage and sits so still throughout the entire performance. These dates are precious, just me and my little man.

His everyday friends.
His forever friends.

Tyler, we're so glad you were born! That you were GIVEN to us, to our family, for this ever brief time on earth. We love you so much and hope you know that through and through! MAY YOUR SIXTH YEAR BE YOUR BEST YEAR EVER!! Here's to making memories.....

"For whoever finds Me finds life....."Proverbs 8:35

1

2011-06-06T08:07:00.001-04:00

(please mute the music at the bottom of the page first)

"I am praying not only for these disciples, but FOR ALL WHO WILL EVER BELIEVE IN ME....My prayer for all of them, is that they will BE ONE, just as you and I are one, Father~~~that just as You are in Me and I am in YOU, so THEY WILL BE IN US, and the world will believe....." ~Jesus~

A little bit about YOU!

2011-06-01T08:00:00.010-04:00

Hi Friends. We're roasting like a bunch of marshmallows over an open flame! It's barely Summertime here in Pennsylvania and the AC's are already out. SO GRATEFUL for air conditioning. So many people around the world just live in this kind of heat with no relief!

So, now that Spring has come and gone, (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?) I thought it would be neat to go back and look at your favorite blog post that you wrote this Spring.

If you're a blogger, leave a comment with a link to your favorite blog post that you wrote in March, April, or May. (If you're not a blogger, leave a comment to your favorite post that was at someone else's blog during the Spring.)

Looking forward to seeing your favorites!

"A perfect summer day is when
the sun is shining,
the breeze is blowing,
the birds are singing,
and the lawn mower is broken."
~James Dent~

Yard Sale 2011

2011-05-30T23:11:00.001-04:00

The best yard sale we've ever had went down in history a few weeks ago. Let me begin by saying that an event this huge CANNOT BE DONE ALONE. My dear friend Jessica, (whom I met at one of my yard sales a few years ago) and I worked on this whole shebang together! I love working with her.....and being with her....living life alongside her.

My flower boxes were ready to greet all the yard sale divas on Friday night!
I'm enjoying my boxes this year more then years past because I got an early star. The local Amish greenhouse had such a lovely flower selection. I went with COLOR, that's my theme!

The signs were placed out and about our small town.

The Ladies brought CAR LOADS of stuff.....they worked so hard!!

We did something different this year and had what we called a "vendor preview." So, from 3-4 pm all the ladies that had a stand were able to peruse the other stands before the gates opened. I had placed a mason jar, (an "honesty jar" I named it) on each table. So if you purchased something from that stand you would just place the money in that allotted jar. I think it was a hit. I enjoyed it so much....peeking at all the goodies!!!

(You can see the finished picture of the carriage house in the background,
my husband is out of this world).

Our little "vignettes". We like to separate the items by the room they would belong in.
It's really pleasing to the eye and makes it easy for purchasing.

Goodies Galore!!!!

A delightful display in the one corner from The Cottonwood House. (You'll see one of my purchases from her later on in this post).

My talented friend Michelle from Italian Lane.

How much do you love her display? So creative. So fun!

Much to my dismay Jake cut and burned these massive doors.

They were taking up our yard space for too long and we couldn't figure out what to do with them.

If you need some beautiful, unique note cards,
she's your girl!!

Shar, my cousin and her darling, darling things......

Terri and her TREASURES, (can you understand why I hardly made any money with all this loveliness coming to my HOME)??? She was selling alot of her inventory from Lulu and Tutz, I could have cried. It just didn't seem right, but I know there are BRIGHTER days ahead that have nothing to do with boxes and price tags! (See that little sign, we placed them on each table, it says: "Pay as you go. Look for the lady in the apron."). Each vendor wore an apron setting them apart from the customers and making them look quite adorable in the time being!

Another vignette.

3:59 pm

4:10 pm!!!

My high school soccer coach, Mr. Rice, was there to sell his fresh Italian ice from a little cart with a red and white umbrella! So, so sweet!!
It was so welcoming and delicious right at the entrance!

Samantha and Kylie, my nieces selling baked goods and candy at their stand. xoxo.

Friday evening was a true success. Saturday morning came bright and early, with a fresh breakfast buffet for each of the vendors.

muffins*coffee*yogurt*granola*espresso beans*fruit
(and take a peek at my new patio door....I'll have to show you my newly arranged kitchen this Summer. I love my kitchen. I live in my kitchen)!

I bought this little beauty from The Cottonwood House stand,
an old cabinet door turned chalkboard! She belongs in my kitchen!!

Besides our neighborhood police officer putting us in our place for causing a huge traffic jam, it was a lovely time had by all, (except those that parked illegally and therefore got a ticket~boo-hoo! Hopefully they at least found a good deal before seeing their ticket)! Next time we need what he called "an event's permit" if it gets this size again!!! Better take a note of that.....

He came and placed signs and cones to help keep the traffic flowing. I asked him "could I pay you whatever you wanted per hour to come back in your uniform and direct traffic?" He said he'd have to talk to his chief about that. He never came back, except to place the signs.

You won't even believe it, but between all the vendors and both days, over $6,000 was made!!! Of course, what each woman made, they took home with them. I was so thankful to hear that each of them did so well. We really wanted it to be "worth their time and energy" and as far as I know, each woman felt duly compensated for their labor!! By Saturday afternoon, this place was as quiet as a mouse. All the unsold items were taken to Goodwill, the tables were returned and the signs were taken down. Until next year friends......

"In the old days a man who saved money was a miser;
nowadays he's a wonder."

~Author Unknown~

A Guest Post with Shawn Smucker

2011-05-28T09:00:00.010-04:00

It's great to have my cousin Shawn with us today. We've grown up together and he was always way cooler then me because: 1.) he was older, 2.) he listened to "Green Day" and 3.) he could get all the way to the end of Super Mario Brothers without dying.

He's sharing a guest post about he and his wife, Maile. It seems appropriate to end our "marriage week" , (which is sort of what this week turned into by no planning of my own) with this post from a huband's perspective. Enjoy! And thanks Shawn for joining us around my kitchen table, (p.s. I prayed you wouldn't go to hell for listening to G.D.)!

Broke, Broken and Ready to Take a Chance

My wife and I stood in the kitchen in the summer of 2009.

“Well, I guess we both know what we have to do now,” she said.

Considering that I had just told her we were running out of money and that the income from my painting business wasn’t going to pay the bills or get us through the winter, I could only think of a few things that we “both knew we had to do now.”

Try to find me two extra jobs.

Figure out who to borrow more money from.

Throw me out the window.

I waited, holding my breath. But she didn’t put any of those options on the table.

“I guess now is the time to move into your parent’s basement. And you need to try writing full time.”

* * * * *

One of the most tragic things about the life that most of us live is that we have lost our sense of adventure. We’ve fallen for the lie that comfort and stability are worthy goals around which to create a life. And too often we bring those goals into our marriage relationship, putting pressure on each other to conform to whatever model we grew up seeing as safe.

When Maile looked at me and said what she did, a thrill ran through me. Finally I could give it a shot. I felt like something inside of me was waking up, something that had been euthanized a long time ago.

* * * * *
After spending four months in a crowded basement with my wife and four children, we rented a place in the country. I was making a living writing, we had a garden, and God kept providing: work came in steadily…for the first time in a long time we were paying down our debt…and both of our vehicles were given to us.

In the beginning it wasn’t easy. We had become so used to a certain amount of security. Sometimes, when I only had enough work to cover our bills for one more month, panic rose in my chest and I wanted to scream into my pillow. But when I got close to getting a job, Maile persuaded me otherwise.

“Just keep going,” she said. “We’re not done yet.”

In December, two weeks before Christmas, we had $17 in our account. I went to meet with a potential client, wondering why I was dragging my family through all this. Why couldn’t I just get a normal job like so many of my friends? Who did I think I was – what made me so special, that I thought I could live a dream life doing what I loved doing? The night was dark, and by the time I pulled into his driveway I was ready to give up.

He liked my work. He wanted to move forward. He wrote out a check for $1000 on the spot.

* * * * *

My wife had enough confidence in me to give my dream a shot.

She was no longer concerned with keeping up pretenses among her friends, trying to get them to believe we had more money than we actually had.

She was willing for us to try something different, something that looked different, something that from the outside might be misinterpreted as foolish or irresponsible (even though it wasn’t).

What about you? Is it time to set aside your boring life of comfort and predictability and give your spouse the chance to live their dream?

Memorial Day memories.

2011-05-27T16:33:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends, I was just remembering some memorial days of the past. Like this one when Paisley was such a tiny baby! xoxo. Oh, my precious baby girl, she's growing up so fast. Everything is going so fast it seems. Is it just me or do the days seem to be FLYING BY?? Maybe I'm getting old and noticing it more. When I was little each day seemed sooooo long, now somehow the sun rises and sets and unless I TAKE AND MAKE TIME TO NOTICE, it's tomorrow already.

So, that's what I look forward to doing this weekend.
stopping and noticing life around me.

When everyone wakes up from naps, I'm taking them all with me to the new Home Goods store, (it's
g-l-o-r-i-o-u-s.....I was there last week and saw the sweetest, robin's egg blue bird bath. I didn't buy it and I've thought about it every day since....that's my sign that I should buy it right?! hahaha! Here's to hoping it's still there!

Grammie is making dinner for us tonight, (WHAT A TREAT)!! Tomorrow morning I'm posting a guest post by Shawn Smucker. Come back if you think about it, it's a wonderful post!

Tomorrow night is Dinner Club, (with children this time around) at my cousin Dave and Orpha's home. Sunday afternoon we're going to my sisters home with Curt and Jeane' and their crew to go fishing and sit on the front porch. I can hardly wait for those conversations, (between keeping watch over our combined 13 children)!

Monday morning is the annual Strasburg Memorial Day Parade.
The kids are excited for the candy throwing that's for sure, (and I am too if they have starbursts)! And then we hope to go swimming the rest of the day at my brother Chet and Sharon's home....it is going to be in the 90's in case you didn't know!

Whatever your weekend holds I hope you can create some down time with your family, with those you love & love you!!

"And I'm proud to be an American,

where at least I know I'm free.

And I won't forget the men who died,

who gave that right to me."

~Lee Greenwood

Prayers for my husband~his marriage

2011-05-25T08:47:00.000-04:00

"Lord, I pray You would protect our marriage from anything that would harm or destroy it. Shield it from our own selfishness and NEGLECT, from the evil plans and desires of others, and from UNHEALTHY or dangerous SITUATIONS.

May there be no thoughts of divorce or infidelity in our hearts, and none in our future. SET US FREE from past hurts, MEMORIES AND TIES from previous relationships, and UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS of one another. Let nothing come INTO OUR HEARTS and HABITS that would threaten the marriage in any way.

Unite us in a bond of friendship, COMMITMENT, generosity and UNDERSTANDING. ELIMINATE OUR IMMATURITY, hostility, or FEELINGS OF inadequacy. Help us to MAKE TIME FOR ONE ANOTHER ALONE, to nurture and renew the marriage and remind ourselves of the REASONS WE WERE MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I pray that (place your husband's name here) will be SO COMMITTED TO YOU, LORD, that his commitment to me will not waiver, NO MATTER WHAT STORMS COME. I pray that OUR LOVE for each other will grow stronger every day, so that we will never LEAVE A LEGACY of divorce to our children."~The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian~

Junk in the trunk

2011-05-23T22:59:00.001-04:00

I don't know about you, but I'm getting so SICK of hearing about all these ~~men~~ boys who can't keep their junk in their trunk....if you know what I mean!! Whatever happened to faithfulness? Sexual purity AFTER you're married? Forget the "save yourself for marriage", (which I'm a big fan of), what about the "save yourself when you're married" part! It's really discouraging when the media attention is focused so much on who did what, with whom, when, where and how! And it's not just in the media, some far-away person that we'd never know or see. It's people around us; our friends, in our churches, our families, our neighbors. It feels like so many marriages are dying around me. The marriage graveyard is filling up, all that's remembered is the date when love began, then a dash, and then the day it died. But what about the inbetween times?
The "dash" days?

Maybe I'm just getting old...and hearing more about the difficulties that people live in. The decision making that one or both spouses make and the heart-breaking, soul-wrecking home life of so many. What does purity look like after you're married? For 3 years? 10 years? 25 years? 50 years? I don't claim to know that's for sure. I'm just wondering, typing outloud.

I want to know how to walk and live in purity with my man. I had posted something on my personal facebook page a few days back, when all the secrets were crashing out of Arnold's closet. "Mr. Schwarzenegger, it's too bad you couldn't keep your pants zipped" that was my status update. And I meant it. It is too bad. It's a shame. It's shame-full. It's shaming. It's shame.

One of my friends commented that he deserves grace just like any of us that have sinned, that have missed the mark. That he too was in bondage these ten years, (or however many), hiding the secret(s) and most likely in great anxiety over doing so. It's not easy keeping secrets. And I agree with that statement, that he deserves grace, (and some good public humiliation). He is free in a way, now that his secret is out.

And yet, the pain has really only begun for him and especially for Maria and their innocent children. And what's it worth? A few nights of uncommitted pleasure, or whatever you want to call it. I'm just a little tired of hearing about all these affairs around us. Affairs of the heart that lead to affairs of the body that lead to affairs of the soul. And don't misunderstand my words, I'm not casting judgement on those people, (or on you) or those you know and love. I've got some serious logs in my eyes, I don't have time to look at your splinters. (Matthew 7:1-5)

The fact is, there's a lot of icy cold days that come from hot steamy nights. And it makes me sad. So much destruction and betrayal. Depression and anger. Death. Anyway, I'm sounding like a broken record. Here's the deal: WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THESE SITUATIONS that surround us? How can we PURSUE purity in our marriages? We're just babies in this whole marriage thing, only 9 years old, but I want to grow old with this man; my lover, my friend, my baby Daddy.

"Keep watch on yourself,
lest you too be tempted." Galatians 6:1

And I guess that about sums it up,
KEEP WATCH ON YOURSELF!
What can I be doing to strengthen, grow and protect our union? I don't have the answers to that tonight. All I know is there is a call to FIGHT for what we LOVE, for WHO we love. And I cannot fight in my own strength, that's for sure! And so I ask my Lord to fill me up again so I can have eyes to see, so I can take heed in my spirit, so I can get/keep my act together so our together can stay together...... come back on Wednesday, I'll be posting a prayer for your husbands marriage!

"All marriages are happy.
It's the living together afterward
that causes all the trouble."~Raymond Hull~