The heart of the matter

Last Saturday Jake and I spent the day in Harrisburg at a parenting conference led by Dr. Tedd Tripp called "Instructing a child's heart." It was a full day of wisdom, insight, challenges and hope. Here are a few things I learned, (taken from over 20 pages of notes!!!). I guess I could just buy the book too, but writing it out helps so much!

• in the absence of Biblical teaching, the secular world takes over automatically.


• shaping your child's heart is a WAY OF LIFE, not a solution to short-term problems.


• shaping your child's heart is requires long-term interaction w/ long-term goals.


• it's not just about surviving, it's about instructing along the way, (let's get out of survival mode...although I must say I live there a lot!!)


• don't get too focused on the outward appearance, the outward behavior, spend time INWARDLY, there are almost 800 references to the heart in the word of God.


• the primary place for instruction IS NOT the church, it's a tool....but it's the culture of the family, self-consciously instilling Biblical ways of thinking.


• If God's word is not important to me, I cannot expect it to important to my boys.


• What I value, they will value.


• Let there be a well worn path to Christ that they can follow, (does "God help me" count as a well-worn path??? sure hope so!!)


• My children have equality in DIGNITY, but I am still their authority, not to rule over them and have them follow w/ blind submission, but to create a circle of blessing for them. "Honor your father and your mother...that it may go well w/ you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." Eph. 6:1
• this was a big one for me: what are my expectations when it comes to obedience, do I have to raise my voice, use threats, etc. I need to train them that they may have simple obedience under a normal tone of voice, (no easy task I am finding).


• Our temptation is to manipulate behavior. Have a BIGGER VISION to help him understand his heart.


• show GRACE to my children, RESTORE them with gentleness.
• most times of discipline are not fully embraced because of a lack of kind & gracious dialog. monologues are not God-honoring communication.


• Disarm rebellion by being a good listener.


• okay, another big one: what I plant today, I will reap tomorrow. Plant PEACE.


• Godly attitudes/Ungodly attitudes: What we expect from our children, we must expect from ourselves! "Do everything without grumbling or complaining..." (we had a lovely lunch together @ the Hilton during our break....I love my man....the Father of my children! You are amazing honey....keep up the good work)!
• Discipline and Disciple are very closely connected.


• Children are hard-wired for worship, they have a desire for delight. SHOW them the true and lasting delight of the Lord. Awaken in His presence and be SATISFIED....(so few things TRULY satisfy). Feast on His abundance!! Psalm 36:5-9 This world is a desert, but there IS a place their, (and my) souls can be satisfied.


• Let's teach our children the difference between the wise and the fool.


• we cannot simply "urge" them to do what's right. Let's HELP them learn the Source of lasting pleasure. Draw my children into my faith. Our deepest thirst is for the eternal.


• My family life is a representation of the church of God. Our experience of family helps extend our ideas of church.


• The church is the company of God's redeemed.


• Poor stewardship of time robs you of spiritual blessings...(ok~conviction!)


• Kindness matters.


• Shepherd our boys.


• Place Jesus in the center of my problems, our conflicts. Let Him be our Central.


• May I be kind, gracious, long-suffering, patient and humble, (easier typed then done!!)


• Let's show our children the goodness of God!

Okay, so I'm just thanking God for this information at this time in my life. I will trust HIM to bring it to my remembrance in the "heat of the moment." I want to be Jesus with skin on to Tyler and Luke...and Jake too. He gives GRACE enough with each season. This I know.

"Correction does much, but encouragement does more." ~Goethe