Our 11th Anniversary

Our first meal as Mr. and Mrs. I remember the smell of the clematis in his boutonnière and the taste of our sweet white zinfandel. The abundance of delectable food. The gorgeous magnolia branches that adorned the front of our little round table. The candlelight and the peace and the giant lit wreath that hung over our heads, (and hangs now in our living room). The clinking of forks on plates and voices on voices. Our first meal as Mr. and Mrs.

Cape Henlopen is a favorite getaway for us as a family. So we thought we'd take some time to enjoy it with only one baby. It was so wonderful and extra special to enjoy Capri by herself. 

She continues to be such a good baby for us and we are so grateful for that.  We spent a lot of time on the beach and she crawled around with contentment most of the time...and then crashed! 

We enjoyed our days and nights together over a long weekend.

Sleeping in and eating out.

Savoring the quiet life together. 

How grateful we are to be able to get away like this! 

 We were just two little kids that knew they loved each other enough to embark on this life together. We are more fully becoming our true selves, allowing and encouraging each other to grow and change and burst out of the molds that life wants to place us in. My husband. My Man. My Favorite Person. My Valley-Traveler and Mountain-Top Celebrator. 
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!

Kitchen Renovation

Here are a few peeks into the remodeling process that I have endearingly named, "all-I-asked-for-was-a-coat-of-paint" 

because that 's the truth of it!! 

New Kitchen Window, 

good bye to my old rolling pin that held it up for many years! 

New flooring coming soon, (dark hardwood)

so I let the boys go at the floor with all kinds of permanent markers. 

You should see this place, it's CRAZYVILLE.  

tic-tac-toe games, "hangman", roads, 

racetracks, hearts, rainbows, you name it! 

Our smallest spectator. 

bless her. she just sits there and watches the world go by!

Cabinet doors are being painted white. 

OUR NEW FARMHOUSE SINK!!!! 

oh, i love her already. 

she's from 1949 and she's a beauty from what i can tell.

you see, she's still in west virgina waiting to be transported to her new home in strasburg. 

Jake will rescue her tomorrow night. 

BLESS that man!!!! 

That's all for tonight folks. 

And as the nice west virginia sink man said on my voice mail tonight, 

"holler back"

"Change always comes bearing gifts."  

~Price Pritchett~

one decade

my love and i have been married for ten years today!  

at times i wonder how all those months 

turned into years. and ten years from today i hope i'm still wondering..... 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY JAKE. 

 i love running, (tripping, crawling, laughing, crying, praying,)  down the aisle of life alongside you.

we belong together. 

"Love seems the swiftest,

but it is the slowest of all growths.

No man or woman really knows what perfect love is

until they have been married a quarter of a century."

~Mark Twain~

Getting closer.

 Our bedroom is officially "baby ready."  I knew the feeling I wanted in there, from the curtains to the bedspread to the seating.  Jake's Mom made the curtains this week.  Truly, the finishing touch. I found a few yards of burlap and some beautiful lace at a garage sale. With the two combined, it's exactly what I was thinking.  It's special too having her handiwork surrounding us. I told Jake the other day that I can hardly wait to hole up in this room for days on end with our new baby! xoxo.

   My Mom is usually here the first few nights after our babies are born, "until my milk comes in", (LOL, doesn't that sound sexy)?  She sleeps with the baby and brings it to me to nurse through the night.  If it's fussy she will give it the tiniest amount of formula from a baby spoon.  I trust her.  She's been through this way with her own 8 children and with over 20 grandchildren.  She knows what she's doing!  How grateful I am to have her loved poured out this way.   Also, my man will be taking a few days off work!  I cannot wait to have him around day and night, to welcome our baby, lose some sleep together and get to know this new soul....and the children are super excited to have so much time with him.  They told me this morning that they will make me coffee and waffles and bring them to me in bed!  Ok, well if you insist!!  


We're welcoming a new baby, I'm no fool, it's a TRANSITION for sure, but in the grand scheme of things, these first few newborn weeks are SO SHORT!!  I know that I will sleep again, (something that scared me with my firstborn...wondering if I would ever be able to get a good night's sleep again.  I remember just crying with anxiety when I was able to get some sleep because I KNEW I'd be woken up again and I could hardly handle it)!  Is it any wonder that one of the final labor phases is called "transitioning"?   

That is a mini pack-n-play. When I was pregnant with Tyler we lived in a small one bedroom apartment so instead of registering for a full size one, we picked this one.  It's been one of the best things we've used for our babies.  It moves easily and fits nicely anywhere.  This is by far my favorite placement of it.  Fridge nook to Baby nook.  I have a feeling that when I'm not "wearing" this baby, it will be in here during waking hours. 

Um, I'm having a baby.

any day. 

technically not until the 24th of june or later....but, THAT'S SO SOON!!!!  Sometimes it just HITS me!  

Especially staring at a massive inflatable pool that's lodged in the doorway to the nursery!  It's quite the sight!  We'll fill it when I go into labor, so for now it's just inflated and ready to go. 

I'm so excited to feel those first few real contractions come on....because it means the baby will BE HERE BEFORE TOO LONG!!  Work yes, labor yes, one of the most intense experiences, YES, but SUCH GREAT REWARD on the other side!!!!

"there is power that comes to women when they give birth, (AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE OR HOW).  They don't ask for it, it simply invades them.  Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying a child with it.  Birth can silence our ego, and for the moment, we feel ourselves overcome by a larger life pounding through our own."  

~a wise birth by penny armstrong~

I've gone a bit collage crazy the last few months. 

Here's one in the downstairs bathroom.

I really like the way collages look, they keep the other walls clean and focus your attention on one area, giving your eye a break in other places.  

Speaking of breaks.....

Jake and I went away for 4 days and 3 nights a few weeks back.
Our 10th anniversary is in September, but we wanted to do something "baby-less" so we stayed at this darling cabin nearby and ventured out from there.  We traveled all over Lancaster County and beyond, eating, shopping, walking, taking in the sights and sounds!  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 

If you're in the area, here is the information if you too would like to rent a night or two at a local place.  It's a perfect little getaway!  

 Our favorite spot. 

inspiring antique shops, this was my favorite. 

cannot wait to return.

This was what we came home with. 

A sign that we feel sums up our past almost TEN YEARS together!  

xoxo.

Well, I better take a nap. Or maybe I'll just eat some monster cookies. All three kiddies are sleeping after walking here all morning.  I haven't been sleeping that great at night, between bouts of heartburn and potty breaks!  

The house is clean and the laundry is almost done, (it never truly reaches an end).   I get a little wacko about keeping things in order when I'm this close to having a baby.  It's stupid, but it's what I do.  You'd be hard pressed to find a crumb around my house!  Told a friend this morning that I guess it's my way of controlling, (my space) what I can't control, (wanting to go into labor tonight)!  

I'd like to put together some flower arrangements as well, being surrounded by new life, there's nothing like fresh flowers to create that.  Also, my nails need to be painted.  That would be nice too.  Pink on one foot?  Blue on the other?  Or maybe just a french manicure so it can go either way! 

"Flowers whisper "Beauty!" to the world, 

even as they fade, wilt, fall."

  ~Dr. SunWolf~

10 years ago today

photo credit: angela stoltzfus.
2002.

Today. One decade ago. 

 He picked me and our lives changed forever. 

I pray it's only the beginning.

"We are gonna build a life together

You and I forever and ever

And we'll, we'll make babies on the beach under the stardust, (probably never will do this, but it sounds kinda nice....and sandy)!

And I'll hear your voice come through the door A thousand times, maybe more

And I'll smile inside to know you're mine

Completely

Do you know how lovely you are?

In the starlight, in the 
starlight of my heart

Do you know how lovely you are?

In the moonlight, in the moonlight of my heart

And I'll wind up every day

Thinking about the way you make me feel When your lips touch my lips And I'd crawl inside a cave Or live somewhere strange As long as I'm with you

I have got what I need."

~Angus and Julia Stone~

Dear Wife, I have something to say.

Over the last week my husband has shared some things with me that he's been keeping to himself for years!  YEARS!!(And don't get worried, we're doing just fine)!

There have been some habits that have became all too welcomed/unnoticed/undealt with in my life and he had to say something to me. He's a brave man, to breach that hidden territory of offense that so many of us, (I) can fall into.  Although it wasn't easy to hear, the things he had to share, they were TRUTH and I  knew they were there, my spirit knew he was right on.  I just didn't want to acknowledge them.  Because if you leave something alone it will disappear, right?  It won't grow into something bigger and more deadly, it won't rule you or control you, it will just stay nice and neat and pretty, right?  

WRONG.

Attitudes unchecked become character in action.

There are so many opportunities to take offense when someone THAT TRULY LOVES US tries to bring correction*truth*guidance.  Notice the "truly loves us" part.

My heart felt so secure as he spoke into my life.  He shared out of love for me, protection for me, wanting the best for me, for us. {And perhaps you don't have a husband, (or anyone in your life) that speaks into your heart, that wants to see you become the best you.  I genuinely pray that if that's your desire that there would be an answer, a leading to someone that can help facilitate the wholeness God desires for you and in you}.  

He will make a way, He's been doing that from the beginning. 

"LOVE suffers long and is kind;

LOVE does not envy, 

LOVE does not parade itself;

it is not puffed up, 

does not behave rudely, 

does not seek its own, 

is not provoked, 

thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, 

but rejoices in the TRUTH;

bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things, 

endures all things...."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I'm a joke.  

Looking at those "loving" things and holding them to the mirror of my life is laughable.  

Truly.   

 

And yet, my God promises so sweetly to HELP me, (and YOU) to become more like HIM.   

To journey us into a place of
atonement and abandonment, 

righteousness and refining, 

holiness and heartache, 

freedom and fire, 

truth and testing.  

And so I say DO IT.  

Do in me what I want done in others.

"God's purposes in our lives lead to humility, 

but Satan's purposes in our lives cultivate self-promotion.

The INTENT OF THE HEART 

is always the dividing line between the two....."  

~John Paul Jackson~

Our Anniversary Staycation

Here's my honey with a little bit of "scruff" as I call it.  I liked it, but it didn't last long, he likes a clean cut!  We started our 9th Anniversary off at this local restaurant.  We got all dolled up and enjoyed our fine dining.  We love this place, but save it for special occasions.  Our server was my cousin Bev's daughter, she was so good to us.  At the end of our meal she brought us a dessert with "Happy Anniversary Jake and Janelle" written in chocolate!  It was awesome.....and I didn't have my camera!  We lingered for hours and then went to see "Courageous" on it's opening night.  A MUST SEE. Just wish we would have had tissues.  Lots of crying and so much inspiration.

On Saturday morning I had a 90 minute in-home massage!  It was GLORIOUS and such a treat.  The treat part was rolling off the table and into bed for a mid-morning nap after the massage!  Didn't even have to drive anywhere!  We lounged around here and then spent the day in the charming little towns around us.  

Namely Ephrata and Lititz.

 We ate lunch here. Oh my goodness gracious, that food was OUTSTANDING.  I've always heard that "pub food" is so good, but this place totally outdid itself.

 Half way through our meal this guy comes up behind us, (we were at the bar) and wraps his arms around Jake and I loudly proclaiming, "I knew it was you guys!!!"  We were delighted to see our old friend Josh Hendershott.  We've known him since he was a kid, but it's been years since we've touched base.  He was a bartender there and again, we were treated like royalty.  Food, drinks, desserts, he just kept them coming, all on the house!  Such a surprise and very special to us!  If you ever go there, you MUST have their famous sticky toffee pudding, (Shar~you and Ben would LOVE it here). 

 With our bellies filled we hit the town, (my gracious husband allowing me to get my eye full of all the charming vintage shops that Lititz has to offer).  thanks baby! 

 We ended our day here, eating more desserts, drinking chai and the.best.hot.chocolate.i've.ever had, (the lady literally melted the chocolate before making it)!  And she whipped the fresh cream before my eyes!  Deeeelish!!

 The rain started coming down pretty hard right after we entered.  The back door was wide open so we pulled up a seat as close as we could, to hear the rain and enjoy the company.  We read books and magazines, talked when we wanted to and then I beat him in this marble game like 18 3 times in a row.  I'm totally buying him this for Christmas. 

Sunday morning we slept in. We did nothing.  It was amazing.  We fed ourselves, drank hot coffee,  read and stayed in pj's until noon.  We simply EXISTED.  Our kiddies came home around 1pm on Sunday.

As I mentioned in the last post, once I got my attitude in check and put on my perspective glasses, it was a wonderful time. We are so fortunate to have one another, to be in love with one another and to have the resources for such an extravagant experience together.  It is not the case for many that we know and love.  Truly, I feel like this time together was so good for us, (for me especially because Jake is more content by nature).  To come face to face with my entitlement mentality and to be ashamed of myself.  I didn't really know it was there, at least not so grippingly so.  Thank you to my sister for keeping our children and loving them so much.  We enjoyed EVERY MINUTE of our "staycation" I assure you.    

 "Hold my head inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years."
~Coldplay~


P.s. My niece walked down the aisle to this song last Saturday afternoon!  It was BREATHTAKING! 

Anniversary & a case of the bad attitudes.

Last week was a bad attitude week for me.  No one would have known it from the outside looking in.  But it was there and it was threatening to rear it's ugly face to those I love most, namely my husband.  Having to make a choice to stay home instead of flying off to some foreign soil, (or even a local bed and breakfast) wasn't easy.  Why can't we just have enough to spend lavishly and do whatever we want?  I was frustrated that we had to make a decision about it, have a conversation about the wise thing to do this year.  My husband is amazing with the money he brings in, the provision and the allotment, the wisdom and foresight.  I'm the one with the crappy attitude. 

It was keeping me awake at night, my dissatisfied mind. I am married to an amazing man, we have a beautiful life together, three healthy children and a precious home, we have food in our fridge and new clothes on our backs, the list goes on and on. And yet, I had the audacity to allow myself to get worked up about not going AWAY for our anniversary. Give me a break. For real. 

 Don't get me wrong, going places for your anniversary is wonderful, it's a given really, or it should be anyway.  Doing something special to set apart that day from all the others.  It's important, deeply important.  Yet, when the expectations for a good time fall only upon going away to some fancy place, or staying at the nicest hotel, or hopping on a plane out of town, then I think there needs to be a heart check and I had to have just that. 


It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, the way you look at your life and your experiences, (or lack of experiences) completely influences who you are and the life you live.  Do I have thoughts of resentment toward those that get to enjoy the "bigger and better" of life or am I willing, (and ABLE) to be satisfied with the little things?  Truly grateful for what I do have?  Shifting my mindset from something I think I deserve, to gratitude for what's in my hands? WE DESERVED something better then staying home all weekend, right?  Our marriage celebration is worth more then sending the kids off for two days and nights.  We're entitled to something grandiose, after all, we've been married nine years, (that last sentence is dripping with sarcasm). 

Here's the real facts of life:  we're not entitled to ANY GOOD THING.  All these extras on top of life, are just that, "extras".  And they are beautiful, they make life taste so sweet, they produce that wonderful "looking forward to something" feeling, they fill us with happiness.  But where is my JOY found?  Is it in the experiences I have with Jake, the places we go and the things we see and do?  Or is it found in him, just him and I and a hot chocolate?  The simplicity of togetherness.  I'm reminded of a quote by D.H. Lawrence that hung by my bedside during our dating years, I type it from memory.  "To be content in bliss, without desire or insistence anywhere. This was heaven, to be together in happy stillness."

My thoughts last week were focused not on our love, but on the way we celebrated our love.  That somehow is was less than because we decided to stay home and save a couple hundred dollars.  Hear me out, we hope there is a day that we can pick any place we choose and go there with ease.  If that's the case for you, that is AWESOME, truly!  Hop on the plane and get the heck out of here and ENJOY!  And if it isn't and you have a tough time with that knowledge, that's the place where I'm writing from tonight.


It's Sunday evening and the children are back  home.  We've missed them, the house was so quiet.  Eerily so at night with three empty beds.  This weekend we had together was perfect for us.  It was cozy and quiet and simple, yet full of wonderful things.  I'll share a bit more of what we did and where we went later on.  For now, I just had to get those thoughts out of my heart. 

It really is not that important WHERE you go, it's truly about WHO you're with.  And like I said earlier, if you get to be with the one you love AND GO amazing places, that is wonderful and such a blessing for you.  Be blessed and content in that!!  I learned some contentment this weekend and I'm so glad I did.  The little things popped out to me, the sweet moments we gathered along the way.
`
The point I'm making, (mostly to myself)  is  about  contentedness and sometimes that is a process to learn and relearn.  We are encouraged in the Bible to "LEARN TO BE CONTENT".  It doesn't come naturally nor is it given freely, it must be learned.  And as with most things we learn, it happens through experience. I came upon a wonderful article this afternoon that really summed it up well.  Below is the opening paragraph.  Hope you enjoy it and I'll see you later this week: 

"Contentment is not a gift to be received but rather a lesson to be learned. Paul makes this clear in Philippians 4:11 where he says, “In whatsoever state I am in I have learned to be content.” Notice, he did not say, “In whatsoever state I am in, God gives me contentment.” Contentment is a spiritual discipline to be learned. It is a product of resolving the struggles between what we want to have and what we know God wants for us."  
~Richard Dobbins~

9 years with Mr. Stoltzfus

My stomach is a little nervous, excited-nervous, not scared-nervous.  I get like this when I think of the journey that my husband I share.  It is so deep and takes up so much of who I am.  And most of the time I feel completely undeserving of this amazing man that I call husband.  He brings me joy unmatched here on earth, (don't be fooled, we can tick each other off too)!  He takes me just as I am.  He encourages me to be more then I am today.  He believes in me. He loves me.

He is one of the most gracious humans I know.  He works like a lion and loves like a lamb.  I don't know how he does it all.  How can he keep loving me so?  And it's only been 9 years today, just a drop in the bucket of life I pray!    

I am so in love with my husband.
I'm not afraid to shout it out from the rooftops, (or computer monitors)!!  And Lord, my desire is to whisper it in the daily actions of life.  I've got a lot of growing up to do.  A lot of self left in me, so much at times it feels impossible to be the true me.  I want to bring him JOY all the days of his life.  I want to bless him.  Encourage him. Love him good.  But I'm just a woman and I can't do it alone.  I am not a good lover when I'm out of touch with my Lover.  There are attitudes and reactions and just yuk! that needs some attention.   Thank you Jake for not giving up on me, on us.  For loving me just the way I am.  You deserve all the good that life has to offer and I hope to be apart of that goodness......may the Lord watch over us, protect us from the arrows of life and sing songs of deliverance over us!!!!     

These pictures were taken last Sunday by my friend Michelle.  She had a homework assignment, (she's in photography school) in which she needed to interpret a poem.  She needed a couple and she called on us.  Jake is such a good sport and went right along with it.  I didn't "make" him do anything.  He's a man, not my child! (Just wanted to clarify that to any scoffers out there)! :) It was a special hour together to say the least.  She took some "real" pictures too, in addition to the more posed ones for her assignment, thank you for that Michelle.  I dressed in the same outfit I wore 10 years ago during our engagement shoot. You can click here if you'd like, to see the rest of the pictures and to meet Michelle.

"My greatest fortune

in a life of brilliant experiences

has been to find you,

and to lead my life with you...."

~Winston Churchill~

Junk in the trunk

I don't know about you, but I'm getting so SICK of hearing about all these men boys who can't keep their junk in their trunk....if you know what I mean!!  Whatever happened to faithfulness?  Sexual purity AFTER you're married?  Forget the "save yourself for marriage", (which I'm a big fan of), what about the "save yourself when you're married" part!  It's really discouraging when the media attention is focused so much on who did what, with whom, when, where and how!  And it's not just in the media, some far-away person that we'd never know or see.  It's people around us; our friends, in our churches, our families, our neighbors.  It feels like so many marriages are dying around me.  The marriage graveyard is filling up, all that's remembered is the date when love began, then a dash, and then the day it died.  But what about the inbetween times? 
The "dash" days?

Maybe I'm just getting old...and hearing more about the difficulties that people live in. The decision making that one or both spouses make and the heart-breaking, soul-wrecking home life of so many. What does purity look like after you're married?  For 3 years? 10 years? 25 years? 50 years?  I don't claim to know that's for sure.  I'm just wondering, typing outloud.

I want to know how to walk and live in purity with my man.  I had posted something on my personal facebook page a few days back, when all the secrets were crashing out of Arnold's closet.  "Mr. Schwarzenegger, it's too bad you couldn't keep your pants zipped" that was my status update.  And I meant it.  It is too bad.  It's a shame.  It's shame-full.  It's shaming. It's shame. 

One of my friends commented that he deserves grace just like any of us that have sinned, that have missed the mark.  That he too was in bondage these ten years, (or however many), hiding the secret(s) and most likely in great anxiety over doing so.  It's not easy keeping secrets. And I agree with that statement, that he deserves grace, (and some good public humiliation).  He is free in a way, now that his secret is out. 


And yet, the pain has really only begun for him and especially for Maria and their innocent children.  And what's it worth?  A few nights of uncommitted pleasure, or whatever you want to call it.  I'm just a little tired of hearing about all these affairs around us.  Affairs of the heart that lead to affairs of the body that lead to affairs of the soul.  And don't misunderstand my words, I'm not casting judgement on those people, (or on you) or those you know and love.  I've got some serious logs in my eyes, I don't have time to look at your splinters. (Matthew 7:1-5)


The fact is, there's a lot of icy cold days that come from hot steamy nights. And it makes me sad. So much destruction and betrayal. Depression and anger. Death. Anyway, I'm sounding like a broken record. Here's the deal: WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THESE SITUATIONS that surround us?  How can we PURSUE purity in our marriages?  We're just babies in this whole marriage thing, only 9 years old, but I want to grow old with this man; my lover, my friend, my baby Daddy.  

 "Keep watch on yourself,
lest you too be tempted."  Galatians 6:1


And I guess that about sums it up,
KEEP WATCH ON YOURSELF!
What can I be doing to strengthen, grow and protect our union?  I don't have the answers to that tonight.  All I know is there is a call to FIGHT for what we LOVE, for WHO we love.  And I cannot fight in my own strength, that's for sure!  And so I ask my Lord to fill me up again so I can have eyes to see, so I can take heed in my spirit, so I can get/keep my act together so our together can stay together...... come back on Wednesday, I'll be posting a prayer for your husbands marriage!

"All marriages are happy.
It's the living together afterward
that causes all the trouble."~Raymond Hull~

hApPy VaLeNtInEs DaY!!!

our wedding cake

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE VALENTINES DAY, however I'm not really into the whole exclusive holiday stuff. The celebrations that make others feel left out because they might not have someone to love, (or someone to love them). LOVE is a tricky deal. Beautiful and tricky. Truly, to those that have arms to fall into.....FALL WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT and to those that will go to bed alone or with sadness/pain/loneliness in your hearts.....tomorrow is a new day and the sun will shine again, (and perhaps it will be 50*)!

"Shall we compare our hearts to a garden -
with beautiful blooms, straggling weeds,
swooping birds and sunshine, rain -
and most importantly, seeds."
~Grey Livingston

Prayers for my husband~his sexuality

"Lord, Bless my husband's sexuality and make it an area of great fulfillment for him. Restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced. Protect us from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest. I pray that we make time for one another, communicate our true feelings openly, and remain sensitive to what each other needs.

Keep us sexually pure in mind and body, and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that seeks to encroach upon us. Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes. Remove from our midst the effects of any sexual experience~~in thought or deed~~that happened outside of our relationship. Take away anyone or anything from our lives that would inspire temptation to infidelity. I pray that we will desire each other and no one else.

Show me how to make myself attractive and desirable to him and be the kind of partner he needs. I pray that neither of us will ever be tempted to think about seeking fulfillment elsewhere.

I realize that an important part of my ministry to my husband is sexual. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation by giving and withholding it for selfish reasons. I commit this area of our lives to You, Lord.

May it be continually new and alive. Make is all that You created it to be."

~"The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian~

"Drink water from your own cistern,
and running water from your own well.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
let her breasts satisfy you at all times,
and always be enraptured with her love."
Proverbs 5:15-19

P.s. to the 5 male, married readers of this blog~~~you're welcome!!! ;)

5 ways to Spice up the Spice up!!

Well, it's Valentine's Day season. And that has nothing to do with this post. It's a nice time to remember your Lover and all....and do special things for them; buy them gifts, write a card, hug an extra hug. We all have an opportunity to SHOW our love in one way or another on a regular basis....it's right there if we take the time to realize it in the midst of everydayness. It's not easy, but it can become a habit. This post is about one way we can show our husband's we love them.....

"We're hitting a top priority in a man's life right away. I feel we can contribute to our husbands' happiness in these areas most dear to their hearts. I've observed that frequently the sexual relationship is a low priority on women's minds. It isn't that the wife cares nothing about that part of her life. It's that there are so many other things screaming for her attention, such a raising children, work, finances, managing a home, emotional stress, exhaustion, sickness and marital strife.

In the wife's juggling of priorities, sex can end up on the bottom of her list. For a wife, sex comes out of affection. She doesn't want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, lonely, disappointed, overworked, unsupported, uncared for , or abandoned.

But for a husband, sex is pure need. His eyes, ears, brain, and emotions get clouded if he doesn't have that release. It's important to make sex a matter of priority in your marriage. Whether all conditions are perfect or whether you feel like it or not isn't the point. The point is meeting the needs of your husband and keeping communication lines open. There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable.

If your attitude about having sex comes down to only what you need or what you don't want, then you don't have God's perspective. He says our body is to be used to comfort and complete the other person. Something is built up in the man and the marriage when this need is met by his wife. Something is diminished when it is not. You leave yourselves open for temptation, and far more destruction than you can imagine, when this area of intimate communication is neglected. It can happen to anyone, and that's why the sexual aspect of your marriage and your husband's sexuality need to be covered in prayer. And it's best to start praying about it before you have to."

An excerpt from Stormie Omartian's book~
"The Power of a Praying Wife"

There are so many variables in EACH of your homes and I recognize that. There are marriages that are unhealthy and very difficult in other areas and so it automatically spills over into the bedroom. I don't want to make it sound so *simple* because it's not just about having a great sex life and then all your problems are better....it's obviously not that at all. There are physical, mental and emotional issues that are not even being addressed here. That's not what this post is about.....what it IS about is keeping the spice in an already healthy marriage.....which can be difficult in it's own right.

So,without further ado,

5 WAYS TO SPICE UP THE SPICE UP:

1.) BUY SOME NEW UNDERWEAR~~I don't know about you, but most days I reach into that drawer and skim over the ones that: a.) are too tight, b.) are too big, c.) um, are those maternity?, d.) are ugly, e.) I wouldn't be caught dead in. So, just spend $20 and buy SOME NEW ONES. A goal of mine would be to reach blindly into my drawer and be fine with anything I pull out! (Sure, good luck with that one)!

2.) FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOU~~start by SHAVING. I remember the days that I would shave just in case he would accidentally rub by my leg, now there are many days that I work pretty hard to keep my prickly, poky legs away from his. I feel better about myself if I'm smooth. And hair conditioner works pretty well if you don't have shaving creme/gel. HAVE A BEDTIME LOTION~~A fragrance that is only used at bedtime. Something soothing and calming and use it consistently. A smell that will conjure up thoughts of bedtime and all that can go along with it. It's also a great time to let the lotion moisturize through the night hours.

3.) KEEP YOUR BEDROOM YOURS~~the kids have their own room(s) for a reason. Try to keep anything that is THEIRS out of your space. I don't even let the kids play in our room, (well, it's a rare occasion anyway if they do). I'm not too proud to say, "get out of my room." With a smile of course.....well, not really. Create a bed that you would want to crawl into. Soft sheets with a high thread count, (250 or more), snugly blankets and beautiful pillow cases, (all of this is relatively inexpensive and normally not a purchase that is made very often so spending a little upfront goes a long way). Buy some linen spray to keep the sheets smelling fresh between washes, (and in case your husband farts under the sheets at night)!

4.) SAY SOMETHING~~Your husband probably doesn't know what you want or need. Here's my best line: "I'm your only option for sex and you're my only option for a date!" or how about this one that I've used before: "my love tank is empty, I'm sputtering out by the side of the road, there's dirt in my fuel filter!" Hey, I'm just trying to speak his "language"!

5.) MINISTER TO YOUR HUSBAND~~preferably with your clothes off!! We as women have such a POWERFUL, GOD-GIVEN PLACE in their life and heart and body. We are anointed to bless them like NO ONE ELSE CAN! Stay tuned tomorrow, I'll be posting a prayer that you might be interested in.....


"He felt now that he was not simply close to her,
but that he did not know where he ended and she began."
~Leo Tolstoy~