Luke's 5th Birthday Party!!

good morning mr. five year old!  

i love decorating after the birthday boy or girl goes to bed. put up a few decorations, (they don't care what it looks like) even if i don't feel like it, i do it anyway. only once a year do you wake up on your BIRTHDAY and i like to make it extra special.  i fill bags with dollar store stuff and candy and quarters, dollar bills....whatever i can pull together!  

 

 On the morning of his birthday we happened to be having our monthly family breakfast, (all 7 of my brothers and sisters and our parents at "The Bird").  Luke came along with some of his cousins that morning and had a chocolate covered donut with a candle in the middle!  He couldn't believe I let him eat the entire thing!

He got some serious cash that morning from his Uncles!!  

A WHOLE HAND FULL!!

To celebrate we had a racin' good party the weekend before his birthday!  The weather was outrageously warm for March so we pulled this together as quickly as possible....fitting for a race car theme I guess!  It was great to have him help plan and prepare for his "big party."  He was so delighted to be part of the action.  Uncle Tom let us borrow his cool "real signs".  Luke shined them up and got them all ready.....he's our worker and finds great joy in details, fulfillment in getting the job done right, (just like his Daddy and his namesake, Uncle Tom)!

Jake made a race track in the yard.  Orange spray paint, a pit stop, a flashing traffic light and the signs placed about.  It was so cool!  We had four battery operated cars that the kids could drive around the track, (or push once the batteries died)!  

Jake has this sign for his business. 

I tweaked it slightly. 

Under the gift tree we had matchbox cars, some books to read and of course lots of gifts.  

AND THEY'RE OFF!!

JOY at 3mph!!!!

Luke helped rip and color an old white t-shirt of his into a checkered flag.  We nailed it onto a broom handle. 

THE CAKE! 

This was a labor of love. 

Grammie made the cake and I decorated it. 

He wanted a "Cars 2 Cake with Finn McMissile in the water and a racetrack."  It was fun creating it...... 

but even more fun presenting it to him!  

TOTAL DELIGHT!! 

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I found these stickers online, but instead of ordering them I just printed them out on regular paper and taped them onto skewer sticks. The flags were also found online, (googled different countries flags and printed them out) and then did the same thing, but taping them onto toothpicks instead.  

Normally not one to show his emotions easily, he was a ball of JOY this day!  It was so sweet to be a part of.  We love our Lukie!!

Here he is with his new shirt and car from Aunt Shrish. 

Jake got his air compressor out and blew up rocket balloons for the kids.  That was a hit!  

 "Let's race on our feet Daddy!!"

We ended the night with a road flare.....that thing lasted at least 30 minutes and the kids danced around it, it was one of Luke's favorite things he told us later.  It did look pretty neat as the sun went down!  

 It was still so warm so we watched a movie on the outdoor screen and then called it a day!

“Your birthday is a special time 

to celebrate the gift of 'you' 

to the world.”

~Author Unknown~

Heaven is here

Just finished this book. 

It was all I could do to not read day and night, (which is basically what I did anyway).  I've enjoyed her blog for a few years now and reading her memoir did not disappoint in the least.  So inspiring on many, many levels.  Just wanted to share a few of my favorite quotes and encourage you too to read her story, her journey as well.  

Perhaps it's because I'm pregnant and hormonal, but I was crying from the first quote:

  "The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely." 

~Louisa May Alcott~

SUCH TRUTH.

In speaking on Motherhood she shares, "maturing as a mother is a gradual, but steady process, if we let it unfold.  I can only DO MY BEST, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.  I'd never let go of the truly important things, but MY CRITERIA for what the important things were often realigned."  

After their plane accident and as her life returned to a new normal, she writes, "I sensed the accident had set into motion eternal lessons for each of us, and we would learn things that ultimately we'd be grateful for.  At least I hoped we would.  I HAD TO BELIEVE THERE WAS A PLAN FOR OUR LIVES, A PURPOSE BEHIND OUR STRUGGLES.  It was at times a thin hope, more an idea than a driving force, but my challenges seemed manageable if I believed their was purpose behind them."

In her epilogue she writes, "...I realized along the way that ultimately nothing they did could make me happy.  I felt comforted by family and my faith, but PEACE WAS DIFFERENT FROM HAPPINESS.  At first I thought stubbornly that the only thing that would make me happy was for life to look like it did before the accident.  But no one could give that to me, and no one else could make me happy.  Happiness was my choice, and THOUGH IT WAS HARD WON, I am the only person who can stand in the way of it.  As I gradually accepted my responsibility to choose happiness every day, I rediscovered the beautiful life I had always wanted.  I still have to remind myself to choose happiness every morning I wake up in pain, and I expect I will need reminding throughout my life, but the amazing thing is THE MORE I MAKE THE CHOICE TO SEE AND FEEL JOY, THE MORE JOY THERE IS TO SEE AND TO FEEL."   

Her thoughts on true beauty are spoken from a well of genuine experience, (having been burned on over 80% of her body). "in that quiet moment the inspiration that I'd come to rely on returned to me like a peaceful whisper.  God was speaking to me.  I felt again how much He loved me. I was reminded that He sees so much more than I do.  In a moment, I felt beautiful again, restored. That peace is always waiting for me after I despair.  IN THE QUIET MOMENTS, INSPIRATION AND COMFORT ALWAYS COME AGAIN. Every time, without fail.  Piece by piece, God puts me back together and I keep moving forward. I know, now, without a doubt that the true source of beauty doesn't come from the outside.  This is the one I wish I could teach everybody---THAT OUR HEARTS MATTER MOST.  It's a beautiful heart, not a perfect body, that leads to A BEAUTIFUL LIFE."

Easter twenty-twelve.

The front of our church was exceptionally beautiful this morning, along with the service.  For the first time a new thought was dropped into my heart.  A thought about the Resurrection of Jesus and how it's not something of the past, but something that He does DAILY in my cold, dark tomb of a soul.  He rolls the stones away and He reveals Himself, makes Himself ALIVE inside us.....or at least His desire is to do that.  Yet even if I don't receive or acknowledge His attempts at "rolling" things away, I know He's working in me, in us: 

 breathing life into death. 

conquering the grave of our mind.

GIVING new life. 

 Paisley danced around as she usually does while they jammed out.  (See that hottie in the background, wearing orange and grey?  He's my easter basket).  

Jake hid the easter eggs and the kids ran around hunting them down. 

I love traditions. 

 Paisley didn't know what to do with herself when she found her basket!  She hid her eyes for awhile and then stood like this,  she was excited as we explained to her earlier on what she was about to do, but when she actually found it, she wasn't sure afterall!  I talked about it with her later on and she said, "I was shy of my basket!"  Bless her sweet heart! 

I had a little fun sprucing up our Easter picture because I'm weird like that. There's nine eggs hidden in the pic, (one for each Easter we've had together so far)!  

"And he departed from our sight
that we might return to our heart, 

and there find Him.  

For He departed, and behold, He is here."  

~St Augustine~

monster cookies

Hello friends. 

it's been so beautiful all along the east coast the past few weeks. 

unseasonably warm and the birds are busy building their nests, 

(sounds like someone else i know)!  i've been surprised at the amount of energy i continue to have....now 27 weeks along.  i am deeply grateful and trying to use my energy wisely.  

we had a VERY LAST MINUTE "cars 2" party for our luke last week, with this amazing weather we wanted to seize the opportunity to celebrate outside, (a rarity with a march birthday).  here's a sneak peek of the festivities....more to come later, (and by "later" i mean whenever i get around to it)! ;)  

we made our favorite cookies last week.

luke is my ever-faithful helper.  he finds so much joy in putting his hand to projects. i decided to capture the moment, the first picture, (above) was not "staged" and it just looked so friendly....so that's where the idea began.

enjoy. we sure did.

the recipe is at the bottom of this post if you'd like to make them yourself.  it makes a LARGE batch, so go ahead and freeze some for later.  they taste so great right out of the freezer as well. 

MONSTER COOKIES

3/4 cup butter

1 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar

4 eggs

1 lb chunky peanut butter

2 1/2 tsp. baking soda

5 cups quick oats

 12 oz. chocolate chips

1 cup m&m's

cream butter and sugars together.

add eggs and beat until fluffy.

add remaining ingredients except for choc. chips and m&m's.

mix well.

fold in choc. chips and m&m's.

form into teaspoon sized balls.

bake at 350* for 12 minutes.

eat 5 or less, (if possible)!  

"While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about."
~Angela Schwindt~

Nesting Area ~ please do not disturb.

 Came upon this picture the other day and let's just say that the darling sign on the porch should be hanging on mine, (it reads, "NESTING AREA please do not distrub")!

I've been in serious nesting overdrive. 

No corner is left unturned. 

Somehow 6 months have come and gone already!

I am feeling SO GOOD and SO GRATEFUL.

Of course I'm tired by the end of the day, but that's usually the case when there isn't a human growing on the inside!  In all honesty, I feel my very best when I'm pregnant.  I truly enjoy it!  And this is the "nice" trimester.  Still not too large and lots of energy to burn!  

25 weeks of Lovie. 

 

 Paisley was sick last week so we had lots of extra snuggle  time.  It was sweet at first and then a little annoying because she was at my side constantly.....BUT, it was JUST what we both needed though, to sloooow down and just exist.  What a GIFT a normal day is.  Luke wanted to take a picture of us the other day so I let him.  This was pretty much our position for the day, (except for taking Tyler to/from school and making meals).  

Just letting you know we're still here. 

We are doing well and I'm so excited to reveal to you the stuff we've been working on. Lovie's nursery will be started tomorrow!!!

I MADE MYSELF finish all most of my other projects before starting on the nursery, (working on it is kinda like my reward for getting all that other stuff completed)!  

Tonight is the first night with ALL THREE CHILDREN IN ONE BEDROOM.  They look so sweet up there.  The boys in a queen bed and Paisley in her newly redecorated "corner" of the room.  She's sleeping in her toddler bed.

I'm watching my belly bounce around as I type and it looks so funny!  NEVER ceases to amaze me....all this kicking and action and life, coming from the inside~out!

"It is only possible to

 live happily-ever-after 

on a day-to-day basis." 

 ~Margaret Bonnano~

Here's to a little "happily ever after" in your day......

and to your normal days, the ones that feel so wearisome and exhausting.  The ones where everyone is alive and healthy and you have food to feed your children.  The ones where you have running water and seeds to plant.  May we be grateful for the "normals" of life and not take them for granted. 

i want to bake a cake and have a baby.

call me crazy, but i get so excited when i think about going into labor.  just the entire birthing process is such an amazing miracle to be apart of, to watch unfold within yourself. to experience the powerful, beautiful and sometimes frightening transition of bringing a baby into the world.  makes me feel so warm and cozy when i think about it, when i remember our past three home births, and i'm not saying it wasn't painful....it was....my rose colored glasses aren't that shaded!!!  


tonight is a chilly, blustery night.
the wind is howling and the fire is roaring and i'm awake with heartburn and project ideas, (have to stop "pinning" and eating so late). 


But my mind is seeing fireflies and feeling the thick, cool grass under my feet.  Lovie is due the end of june so if all goes as planned, (and i recognize that it may not).
i can walk around outside, (hopefully under the guise of night) and work through the contractions.  that's my desire, but we trust our life and this life into a Greater Hand.  
"In his heart a man plans his course, 
but the LORD/Yahweh/Jehovah, 
determines his steps."  
proverbs 16:9
we pray for LIFE, however he or she arrives.  sometimes i think i'm crazy when i re-read some of the sentences typed out, but they are truth to me.  

a friend of mine sent me the video posted below a few weeks ago.  it was the start of my "nursery renovation inspiration."  dear man that i love, he's so gracious with me, (even though he would prefer keeping everything the same.....forever)!  he never quite knows what he'll come home to.  currently 3 out of our 3 bedrooms are being rearranged or redesigned in one degree or another!  never underestimate the need of a mother to get her nest in order.  it's just about out of hand, (losing sleep over my spinning ideas)!   it's still a ways off, (23 weeks along), but i know how fast the spring and summer months go and how we love being OUTSIDE so i'm working extra hard, (while the strength, energy and not-too-large-belly are at hand).  

ordered the paint for the nursery and to repaint the crib, just MAKING MYSELF FINISH THE OTHER ROOMS before starting ANOTHER project!  

Here's the video I was talking about, (AND I'M SORRY IF ANY GRAPHIC IMAGES POP UP AFTER THE VIDEO IS OVER....i wasn't sure how to post this OUTSIDE of youtube, but i'm pretty sure i cleared anything from popping up.....but just warning you)!  The video itself is ALL TASTEFULLY PHOTOGRAPHED so no worries there.  Things I love about this video:


{the music choices}.
{the kind-faced husband}.
{the nursery}.freeze-frame 1:03.....LOVES it!
{the kiddie pool}.
{the midwives who are seemingly completely unmoved by her labor}.
{the baking of the cake}.
{the moment they find out it's a girl}. freeze frame 5:09
{wrinkly baby}.
{sister's first meeting}.
{the eating of the cake}.
{the peace}. 
   

So, with all that being said......I seriously want to bake a cake when I'm in labor, (you'll understand if you choose to watch the video)!  

Better head to bed now and rest this body and mind. Hope you have a refreshing weekend.  

{and a special shout-out to my friend Jeane' and her husband Curt enjoying their much anticipated anniversary "vacation"}!!

"Poor, dear, silly Spring, 

preparing her annual surprise!"

  ~Wallace Stevens~

happy valentine's day

"everybody's got a hungry heart."

~bruce springteen~

i hope your heart is fed today, if not with love here below, with the Love that comes from above and fills every crevice of your soul. the Love that never lets go, never gives up and will pursue you until the day you die.....and even after. ♥

"Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests
between His shoulders."

Deut. 33:12

Color Changes Everything!

Lovin' the new Target commercials about color! 

Speaking of color. Oh, oh, I'm getting so excited about redecorating Paisley's nursery in preparation for Lovie's arrival.  It's kinda bittersweet because I've loved her darling room for these past 2 1/2 years.  Some of "her" things will move with her into the boys room, to her new little corner of the earth.  Man, this nursery has had so many precious memories, (this link is what it looked like before Paisley was born....we didn't know if she was going to be a boy or girl).    

Last month we moved the boys from their twin beds into a queen bed.  Their room has had many transformations over the years to fit their needs.  They were so excited about getting a "huge" bed.  And for the most part it's going well.  They giggle some nights and keep each other awake, but other then that it's working.  We will move Paisley's toddler bed into the one corner and make it cozy just for her.  I love to improvise with what we've got, so these next few months will give me all the improvising I can handle!  

Here are some of the pictures and the website that started my inspiration for Lovie's new space:  

on the short list:

*paint the walls robin's egg blue, only below the chair rail.

*paint the crib yellow. 

*make cross stitch fabric thingys.

*organize Paisley's clothing to make enough room for Lovie's clothing! 

Lovie is moving and kicking so much lately and we're so in love. 

I say "we" but I know it's a different connection for Jake then it is for me.  From what I've heard and experienced, that's normally the case for most men, their "bonding" reaches new levels when they see and hold their babies.  My Mother's heart is smitten deeply already.  Came upon this picture and it fills me up.....

I expectantly wait to be able to do this with Lovie. xoxo

This pregnancy has inspired me and changed me unlike my other sweet babies.  Out of our loss has come a deeper appreciation for the beauty and sacredness of new life.  I still think about our babies that we'll never know.  They never got to cross the threshold of life on earth outside my womb.  And yet, if they had lived, Lovie would not be growing inside me right now!  I will never understand the complexities of life and death, can any of us?

Gratitude floods my mind and seeps down into my heart and soul.  We have many around us, close friends, that long to have babies and for whatever reason, they are left to wonder, question and grieve month after month after month.  It's so painful to watch them experience this and I often don't know how to handle it.  And my thoughts toward them and intercession for them is mixed with guilt and salty tears because of our Lovie.  This new life that has been given, the life we trust will continue to be given.  Yet, their journey is not ours.  Their valley of death looks differently then ours does. 

They will be comforted.

Isaiah 54:10

10 years ago today

photo credit: angela stoltzfus.
2002.

Today. One decade ago. 

 He picked me and our lives changed forever. 

I pray it's only the beginning.

"We are gonna build a life together

You and I forever and ever

And we'll, we'll make babies on the beach under the stardust, (probably never will do this, but it sounds kinda nice....and sandy)!

And I'll hear your voice come through the door A thousand times, maybe more

And I'll smile inside to know you're mine

Completely

Do you know how lovely you are?

In the starlight, in the 
starlight of my heart

Do you know how lovely you are?

In the moonlight, in the moonlight of my heart

And I'll wind up every day

Thinking about the way you make me feel When your lips touch my lips And I'd crawl inside a cave Or live somewhere strange As long as I'm with you

I have got what I need."

~Angus and Julia Stone~