March Madness

our sweet Lukie turned 6!

we made some cupcakes for his kindergarten class. 

the umbrellas were his idea.

"to make us think of summertime!"

(that's my boy)!

Here's his Birthday Morning Greeting. 

We don't have many traditions, (they wear me out)

but this one has held strong and is a special gift for them as individuals.  He got spy gear and some other smaller items. 

The kids are really into being spies. 

Getting ready to CELEBRATE our

strong, independent, sensitive, inquisitive, daring, studious, 

silly, fast, creative, hard-working, spice-loving LUKE!!  

He wanted a "healthy, exercise party!"

  This was one of his pages of writing from school. 

so precious!

The equivalent of our March madness. 

Sunday afternoon gamefest.  

Spring??

 The calender says Springtime 

so I will decorate as such!

 The benefits of being married to a landscaper. 

He brought boxes of pansies home one day after work. 

While cleaning the flowerbeds this past weekend I was having the boys help me dig out the "wild onions", (onions are one of Luke's favorite foods).  I didn't know where he had disappeared to and then I found him inside preparing the onions for dinner!

"Mom, I love the smell of onions!"

Attack of the Leaf Blower!

Jake and I tackled our yard on Saturday. 

We're a good team and finished quickly!

The boys saved up for their first big purchase, (we helped a bit).

They were so proud of what their "dollars" could do. 

This lady can be glad we took all their change to the bank 

and got dollar bills instead!

 Easter dreams. xoxo. 

Easter reality. 

Ye sleeping buds, break
Open your green cerements, and wake
To fragrant blossoming for His sweet sake.  

~Margaret French Patton~

Blooming

Hello!!

The blossoms of Springtime are beginning to grow and

our days have been filled with all sorts of busy.

My children are 1/2 dinosaur and eat.like.crazy.

I know they are growing because I'm cutting their fingernails 

every week as opposed to the usual once a month.  Sorry, it's

not like you came here to read about my children's fingernails.

It's the little things in life that grab my attention.

As it should be.

Jake and I took a little 24 hour reprieve into the city. 

It was delicious. 

We ate and slept and read, worked out,

watched a movie, and Jake drove around town at 10pm 

to find tiramisu because he's awesome like that!

We watched the city from up above.

Neighborlies launched a few weeks ago. 

It's been really special being apart of such a beautiful venture. 

Each week a new issue comes out, Saturday mornings to be exact.

I can't wait for those cozy mornings where I can take some time to sit and read.  Truly, it is a one stop shop.  A little table talk, some favorite things, some humor and some soul searching....

all over a cup of coffee.  

We had fun putting the launch party together. 

You can see some of the pictures over at the site. 

I've been playing Uno.

alot.

hooded bandit is really getting good at it. 

Tyler is getting tall.

I don't know how I feel about it. 

He's so sweet! 

Capri is loved from sun up to sun down!

9 months already!

still so laid back and jolly.

our gem.

Lukie turns 6 next week.

I can't wait to celebrate him.

He acts like it's not a big deal, 

but he can't stop smiling when we talk about it.

I just finished an 8 week intense training program

called "The biggest Loser" and it was rough, but the results were worth the work!  Every Monday and Wednesday from 8-9pm we met at EmPower Training Systems and busted our butt, literally!  Thankfully some friends joined in and we all met together which helped immensely because goodness knows I wouldn't have gotten off that couch unless someone was waiting on me!! 

WAY TO GO GUYS!  Now that we're done I've started running, (easier to do when you're 15 lbs lighter)!  I forgot how wonderful it feels to run.  It's not easy to fit into the day and sometimes it doesn't happen, but I really want to continue this healthy lifestyle because I'm a better person all around when I get out and push myself.

With all my free time, (haha) I'm tagging all our out-grown clothing in anticipation for the upcoming sale next week!  This is my first year and it's messing with my "free spirit" a bit, all these rules and regulations in getting my clothes ready to sell....I am hoping it is rewarded with good payment! 

Until next time, 

rest well and be well. 

"Hold your horses Paisley".

"I don't have any horses Daddy."

~age 3~

bits of home

Our sweetie girls are becoming friends. 

They really adore each other and we are so thankful for that. 

I wasn't sure how the adjustment would go for Paisley, but so far, so good.  She loves to "Mother" her and I'm happy to have a helping hand!  She will crawl into her crib and play with her and sing to her and "read" her books.  Capri feels comfortable with Paisley. 

The safety of sisterhood. 

I moved them into the same room last week.

Paisley thought she was pretty cool being "a charge" (in charge) of Capri!  Not quite the case, but she likes to feel like the top dog now instead of the other way around, (she was starting to act out while sharing a room with the boys...I think it was her way of trying to get their attention).  She would sing loudly at night and keep them awake, she would get out of bed and just go bop them on the head, she was coloring on the walls in her room, etc.  We've not had any issues since moving her and Capri together!  We don't know what we're doing half the time as parents, but sometimes we take good guesses! 

 I had fun rearranging! 

I've also been having fun working on the new project that's going to launch later this month, a new online magazine called "Neighborlies".  It is not my brain child in any way, rather my friend Jeane's idea, however I feel honored to be along for the ride!  

Lovie Capri is growing every day and I'm not sure what to do about it. We LOVE watching her personality come to life, she's sitting up now and babbling and doing pat-a-cake and has 1 lone bottom tooth that she constantly feels by sticking out her tongue like a little lizard. oh, it melt's me.  And she's growing up and I love my babies and I think this might be our last one and I just can't handle it!  Here she is all fat and happy lounging on our bed. 

Hung that banner I told you about in the last post. 

It's sweet. 

My girl, she loves to be together. xoxo. 

My friend Terri, (also one of the contributors on Neighborlies) mentioned this while talking with a group of young Mommy's, I thought it might lift your spirit today if you're feeling weary....and if you're NOT!  :)

"As one who is slowly being pushed behind, trust me....the days of in-tenseness will pass.  You will miss that moment that it changes from being so hard- to being in the past...and that is Grace.  If we saw our life in a series of starts and finishes we probably would never start in the first place. Just as quickly as they tumbled and jumbled into your life, they will leave you speechlessly behind.  Breath deeply in today....this very moment.  Even in the chaos....because chaos thins out and it is quiet again.  There is good in both--but we always wish away the one that's in front of us, hoping for the other!  

Valentines Goodies

I love February. 

all the love. 

and the bursts of red

 in the landscape of dull browns. 

Here are some of favorite things:

any and all prints by katie daisy 

any and all bags by cath kidston.

 .

all the beautiful, (and well-priced) items from ruche. 

                       so many lovely things!!  

playing around over at picmonkey.

adorable FREE BANNER and other precious 

printables over at tomkat designs.  they have 12 

awesome ones available this month! 

go print some fun!

the delicious things at pier one right now!!

so dreamy!!

"You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it.

 But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. 

People forget. 

~Author unknown, attributed to an 8-year-old named Jessica~

the madness of motherhood

It's a snowy/rainy Monday morning, 

or wait, it's afternoon now.
I wouldn't know because I'm still in my pj's, as are the girls.

The boys got fed and dressed and off to school, 

does that count for "getting something done?"

Last night as I lay in bed I told Jake that I felt so overwhelmed at what will meet me in the morning, as it does every morning.  All the messes to clean up, (because I was just so tired I wanted to sleep and not spend another hour cleaning up from our Sunday loungefest).  I just wonder why I even clean up sometimes.  

EVERYTHING I DO GETS UNDONE. 

And honestly, most times I'm fine with it, it's "life" right now, our "season" of Motherhood. And then on other days/moments I feel so  frustrated by it.  How did all this pile up when Friday night it was perfectly clean and straightened up?  

So, instead of getting my butt into gear, I'm writing about how I don't want to.  But I know it will get done, it HAS to, there is no one else that will or can do it.  It is my portion for today.  And so I'm going to spend a few minutes extracting joy from it, I'm going to look around and count my blessings and name them one by one:

* the fire is roaring and keeping us all toasty warm.

* I have a house to clean, (a fellow neighbors home was completely destroyed in a fire the other night).  I heard the sirens and of course, the curious cat that I am, I had to find it's source. So, I bundled up at 2:45am and walked toward the billows of smoke, about one mile round trip.  It was freezing cold and exhilarating. 

Ok, so I'm sure there are more things I could squeeze out, but I don't have the mental energy right now. 

I'll pour another cup of coffee and put on some groovy praise music, (Bryan and Katie Torwalt is my newest favorite itunes purchase, a sweet gift from my friend Angie) and their pandora station is great too.  Here's to getting my hands a workin'.

If you're in the same boat I am, let's jump ship together and swim to shore before we all sink down into our sea of laundry!!

Bon voyage, dear friends!!  

"This mess is a place!"

  ~Author Unknown~

haughty eyes and the whole mess

This life in Christ is about

GROWTH and DEATH
happening simultaneously.
Without the one, the other will not exist.

Black and lovely.

{PHOTOS FROM MY PARENT'S OLD HOME}
we're going to miss it so much.

"cry out for INSIGHT and understanding.

Search for them as you would for lost money.

THEN YOU WILL understand what it means

to the fear the Lord,

and you will gain knowledge of God.

THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND

what is right,

just and fair,

and you WILL KNOW

how to find the RIGHT COURSE OF ACTION EVERY TIME.

For wisdom will enter your heart

and knowledge will fill you with JOY."

Proverbs 2

Don't know about you, but

soul-searching makes me tired and 

digging wears me out.

Maybe it's partly a personality thing, (my fellow sanguines get me on this)!  There are friends and family that I have who almost effortlessly unearth the "deep", in themselves and in others.  And get this, THEY ENJOY IT!, it actually gives them LIFE.  I admire this in others, however when I apply it to myself, I get exhuasted, overwhelmed and sad. 
{Three things we sanguines try to avoid like the plague}! 

Exhausted because this has nothing to with other people, it's an introverted process, a going inward, a silencing.

Overwhelmed because it's so out of my control.  All this chaos of the heart, there's no order or direction or "place" labeled for the things I come upon.

And sad.  Sad because I see all the brokenness in me and how black my heart truly is.  It IS deceitful above all else, deceiving most of all, myself.  And just when I thought things were looking so good, (refer to the previous sentence of decieving myself)! 

BUT THIS IS RIGHT WHERE I NEED TO BE,
WHERE'S HE'S CALLED ME TO BE.
A place of forced searching out. 

There's a lamp at my feet and little bit of light at my path, (psalm 119:105), and that's about it, and it's really all I need right now.   There are a lot of verses about lamps in the Bible, never realized that before, here are a few:

"For You, O Lord, are my Lamp;

the Lord brightens my darkness."

II Samuel 22:29

"For You cause my lamp to be lighted and to shine; the Lord my God illumines my darkness."
Psalm 18:28

"The spirit of man, is the lamp of the Lord,
searching all his innermost parts."
Proverbs 20:27

(verses from Amplified version).

When I've read verses like this before I would often think "my darkness" refers to the trials or hardships one is going through and maybe that's what it does mean.  But today it took on another LITERAL meaning....THE DARKNESS IN ME, "my darkness."  The things inside me that MUST BE ILLUMINATED, brought INTO HIS LIGHT, surrendered, often again and again.

It was interesting to me that the first two verses from
II Samuel and from Psalm had something to say about a haughty spirit.  If you read it, you'll see that the previous verse in BOTH passages talks about the Lord "bringing down" the haughty and those with haughty looks and THEN it talks about the Lord being a lamp.  I thought about the fact that pride in ourselves and our own ways of "rightness" BLIND US to the TRUTH of ourselves and our sin, our darkness.  In those dark places we cannot even sense HIS LIGHT, let alone see His lamp gently shining on our issues when we are "captured" by our own brightness/pride of self/how "far" we've come/how much "truth" we know/all the conferences we've attended/the experiences we've had/the Bible studies we've completed. 

And, sad, but true, it is from that place that we have "haughty eyes", (HIGH EYES), not only comparing ourselves and looking "down" at others, but thinking others are "less" then we are.

Comparing our journeys.

When I cast my eye upon others,

scoping out their splintered ways while I'm stumbling over my own logs. 

We can't even SEE our own sin on the stage of our life, it's all backstage rushing through a costume change,

but boy, we've got great seats to the sins of others, 

front-row-center!  

"Haughty eyes push us toward seeing everybody else's sins. Good eyesight means seeing our true condition."
~Todd Freeman~

This past week I heard a teaching by Beth Moore, (from her study "James~Mercy Triumphs").  She was speaking of her journey toward wholeness and what that has looked like, still looks like. 

This is a loose quote,
but still gets the point across of what she was saying:

"wholeness = taking all my pieces and laying them at His feet,

 saying 'here, You can have the whole mess.'"

And perhaps ONLY after we give Him our whole mess,
does He leads us into WHOLENESS. 

His faithfulness pulls us in.

All of us, every.part.

He says He will redeem us, every.part.

This is the good news, such good news that, as our Pastor once said, "it takes a lifetime to absorb." 

The opposites collide to create such beauty within us. the joy for mourning and beauty for ashes kind of stuff. praises for burdens. rebuilding the ancient ruins of the human heart.  sense of our wanderings. 

I'll take a seat to that production....

front-row-center, please.



"You don't measure me like man may see,
You're looking at my heart,
the core of me."  
~Misty Edwards~ 

between shoulders

"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, 

for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves 

rests between his shoulders."

Deuteronomy 33:12

I've often wondering what "resting between shoulders" looked like.
And then it came to me the other week as Capri was taking a nap on me....there she was on my chest, 
between my shoulders. 
And it sank deep into me
 along with her heavy body and steady breathing.
I have a resting place too, 
a place I long for, but often pay no attention to.
There's too much noise for my eyes, 
all around me, distracting me.
nice, good things, but distractions nonetheless. 

At the kitchen sink, (my second home) 
I thought of how mundane Motherhood can be.
laundry~cleaning~cooking~picking up toys~swapping out clothing~taxi driving~teaching~training~repeat. 
And I'm ok with that, it's where I am right now, 
where many of us are right now.
However, I'm not ok with just existing here, 
I long to enjoy now and not wish it away
or frown upon it.
I long to find true fulfillment in the daily duties.
I don't want to live, 
frustrated.

God, show me the way of rest.
What it looks like right where I'm at, 
in the middle of the madness.
Is it possible?  Is there rest to be found in the dailiness of life?
Is there rest in broken relationships waiting for restoration?
Is there rest in betrayal and shattered trust?
Is there rest in the weariness? In the overwhelming place?
In the fear?

Here is a beautiful article that spoke right to me, 
refreshed me from my eyes to my heart.
"3 ways to really enter into His rest right now." 
by Ann Voscamp

"We have to take time to connect with Him, 
share our heart with Him, 
and let Him clear our mind 
and soothe our spirit."
~an excerpt from another fabulous article~