Prayers for my husband~his marriage

"Lord, I pray You would protect our marriage from anything that would harm or destroy it. Shield it from our own selfishness and NEGLECT, from the evil plans and desires of others, and from UNHEALTHY or dangerous SITUATIONS. 

May there be no thoughts of divorce or infidelity in our hearts, and none in our future.  SET US FREE from past hurts, MEMORIES AND TIES from previous relationships, and UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS of one another.   Let nothing come INTO OUR HEARTS and HABITS that would threaten the marriage in any way.  

Unite us in a bond of friendship, COMMITMENT, generosity and UNDERSTANDING. ELIMINATE OUR IMMATURITY, hostility, or FEELINGS OF inadequacy.  Help us to MAKE TIME FOR ONE ANOTHER ALONE, to nurture and renew the marriage and remind ourselves of the REASONS WE WERE MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE!  

I pray that (place your husband's name here) will be SO COMMITTED TO YOU, LORD, that his commitment to me will not waiver, NO MATTER WHAT STORMS COME.  I pray that OUR LOVE for each other will grow stronger every day, so that we will never LEAVE A LEGACY of divorce to our children."~The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian~

Junk in the trunk

I don't know about you, but I'm getting so SICK of hearing about all these men boys who can't keep their junk in their trunk....if you know what I mean!!  Whatever happened to faithfulness?  Sexual purity AFTER you're married?  Forget the "save yourself for marriage", (which I'm a big fan of), what about the "save yourself when you're married" part!  It's really discouraging when the media attention is focused so much on who did what, with whom, when, where and how!  And it's not just in the media, some far-away person that we'd never know or see.  It's people around us; our friends, in our churches, our families, our neighbors.  It feels like so many marriages are dying around me.  The marriage graveyard is filling up, all that's remembered is the date when love began, then a dash, and then the day it died.  But what about the inbetween times? 
The "dash" days?

Maybe I'm just getting old...and hearing more about the difficulties that people live in. The decision making that one or both spouses make and the heart-breaking, soul-wrecking home life of so many. What does purity look like after you're married?  For 3 years? 10 years? 25 years? 50 years?  I don't claim to know that's for sure.  I'm just wondering, typing outloud.

I want to know how to walk and live in purity with my man.  I had posted something on my personal facebook page a few days back, when all the secrets were crashing out of Arnold's closet.  "Mr. Schwarzenegger, it's too bad you couldn't keep your pants zipped" that was my status update.  And I meant it.  It is too bad.  It's a shame.  It's shame-full.  It's shaming. It's shame. 

One of my friends commented that he deserves grace just like any of us that have sinned, that have missed the mark.  That he too was in bondage these ten years, (or however many), hiding the secret(s) and most likely in great anxiety over doing so.  It's not easy keeping secrets. And I agree with that statement, that he deserves grace, (and some good public humiliation).  He is free in a way, now that his secret is out. 


And yet, the pain has really only begun for him and especially for Maria and their innocent children.  And what's it worth?  A few nights of uncommitted pleasure, or whatever you want to call it.  I'm just a little tired of hearing about all these affairs around us.  Affairs of the heart that lead to affairs of the body that lead to affairs of the soul.  And don't misunderstand my words, I'm not casting judgement on those people, (or on you) or those you know and love.  I've got some serious logs in my eyes, I don't have time to look at your splinters. (Matthew 7:1-5)


The fact is, there's a lot of icy cold days that come from hot steamy nights. And it makes me sad. So much destruction and betrayal. Depression and anger. Death. Anyway, I'm sounding like a broken record. Here's the deal: WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THESE SITUATIONS that surround us?  How can we PURSUE purity in our marriages?  We're just babies in this whole marriage thing, only 9 years old, but I want to grow old with this man; my lover, my friend, my baby Daddy.  

 "Keep watch on yourself,
lest you too be tempted."  Galatians 6:1


And I guess that about sums it up,
KEEP WATCH ON YOURSELF!
What can I be doing to strengthen, grow and protect our union?  I don't have the answers to that tonight.  All I know is there is a call to FIGHT for what we LOVE, for WHO we love.  And I cannot fight in my own strength, that's for sure!  And so I ask my Lord to fill me up again so I can have eyes to see, so I can take heed in my spirit, so I can get/keep my act together so our together can stay together...... come back on Wednesday, I'll be posting a prayer for your husbands marriage!

"All marriages are happy.
It's the living together afterward
that causes all the trouble."~Raymond Hull~

Prayers for my husband~his sexuality

"Lord, Bless my husband's sexuality and make it an area of great fulfillment for him. Restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced. Protect us from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest. I pray that we make time for one another, communicate our true feelings openly, and remain sensitive to what each other needs.

Keep us sexually pure in mind and body, and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that seeks to encroach upon us. Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes. Remove from our midst the effects of any sexual experience~~in thought or deed~~that happened outside of our relationship. Take away anyone or anything from our lives that would inspire temptation to infidelity. I pray that we will desire each other and no one else.

Show me how to make myself attractive and desirable to him and be the kind of partner he needs. I pray that neither of us will ever be tempted to think about seeking fulfillment elsewhere.

I realize that an important part of my ministry to my husband is sexual. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation by giving and withholding it for selfish reasons. I commit this area of our lives to You, Lord.

May it be continually new and alive. Make is all that You created it to be."

~"The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian~

"Drink water from your own cistern,
and running water from your own well.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
let her breasts satisfy you at all times,
and always be enraptured with her love."
Proverbs 5:15-19

P.s. to the 5 male, married readers of this blog~~~you're welcome!!! ;)

5 ways to Spice up the Spice up!!

Well, it's Valentine's Day season. And that has nothing to do with this post. It's a nice time to remember your Lover and all....and do special things for them; buy them gifts, write a card, hug an extra hug. We all have an opportunity to SHOW our love in one way or another on a regular basis....it's right there if we take the time to realize it in the midst of everydayness. It's not easy, but it can become a habit. This post is about one way we can show our husband's we love them.....

"We're hitting a top priority in a man's life right away. I feel we can contribute to our husbands' happiness in these areas most dear to their hearts. I've observed that frequently the sexual relationship is a low priority on women's minds. It isn't that the wife cares nothing about that part of her life. It's that there are so many other things screaming for her attention, such a raising children, work, finances, managing a home, emotional stress, exhaustion, sickness and marital strife.

In the wife's juggling of priorities, sex can end up on the bottom of her list. For a wife, sex comes out of affection. She doesn't want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, lonely, disappointed, overworked, unsupported, uncared for , or abandoned.

But for a husband, sex is pure need. His eyes, ears, brain, and emotions get clouded if he doesn't have that release. It's important to make sex a matter of priority in your marriage. Whether all conditions are perfect or whether you feel like it or not isn't the point. The point is meeting the needs of your husband and keeping communication lines open. There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable.

If your attitude about having sex comes down to only what you need or what you don't want, then you don't have God's perspective. He says our body is to be used to comfort and complete the other person. Something is built up in the man and the marriage when this need is met by his wife. Something is diminished when it is not. You leave yourselves open for temptation, and far more destruction than you can imagine, when this area of intimate communication is neglected. It can happen to anyone, and that's why the sexual aspect of your marriage and your husband's sexuality need to be covered in prayer. And it's best to start praying about it before you have to."

An excerpt from Stormie Omartian's book~
"The Power of a Praying Wife"

There are so many variables in EACH of your homes and I recognize that. There are marriages that are unhealthy and very difficult in other areas and so it automatically spills over into the bedroom. I don't want to make it sound so *simple* because it's not just about having a great sex life and then all your problems are better....it's obviously not that at all. There are physical, mental and emotional issues that are not even being addressed here. That's not what this post is about.....what it IS about is keeping the spice in an already healthy marriage.....which can be difficult in it's own right.

So,without further ado,

5 WAYS TO SPICE UP THE SPICE UP:

1.) BUY SOME NEW UNDERWEAR~~I don't know about you, but most days I reach into that drawer and skim over the ones that: a.) are too tight, b.) are too big, c.) um, are those maternity?, d.) are ugly, e.) I wouldn't be caught dead in. So, just spend $20 and buy SOME NEW ONES. A goal of mine would be to reach blindly into my drawer and be fine with anything I pull out! (Sure, good luck with that one)!

2.) FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOU~~start by SHAVING. I remember the days that I would shave just in case he would accidentally rub by my leg, now there are many days that I work pretty hard to keep my prickly, poky legs away from his. I feel better about myself if I'm smooth. And hair conditioner works pretty well if you don't have shaving creme/gel. HAVE A BEDTIME LOTION~~A fragrance that is only used at bedtime. Something soothing and calming and use it consistently. A smell that will conjure up thoughts of bedtime and all that can go along with it. It's also a great time to let the lotion moisturize through the night hours.

3.) KEEP YOUR BEDROOM YOURS~~the kids have their own room(s) for a reason. Try to keep anything that is THEIRS out of your space. I don't even let the kids play in our room, (well, it's a rare occasion anyway if they do). I'm not too proud to say, "get out of my room." With a smile of course.....well, not really. Create a bed that you would want to crawl into. Soft sheets with a high thread count, (250 or more), snugly blankets and beautiful pillow cases, (all of this is relatively inexpensive and normally not a purchase that is made very often so spending a little upfront goes a long way). Buy some linen spray to keep the sheets smelling fresh between washes, (and in case your husband farts under the sheets at night)!

4.) SAY SOMETHING~~Your husband probably doesn't know what you want or need. Here's my best line: "I'm your only option for sex and you're my only option for a date!" or how about this one that I've used before: "my love tank is empty, I'm sputtering out by the side of the road, there's dirt in my fuel filter!" Hey, I'm just trying to speak his "language"!

5.) MINISTER TO YOUR HUSBAND~~preferably with your clothes off!! We as women have such a POWERFUL, GOD-GIVEN PLACE in their life and heart and body. We are anointed to bless them like NO ONE ELSE CAN! Stay tuned tomorrow, I'll be posting a prayer that you might be interested in.....


"He felt now that he was not simply close to her,
but that he did not know where he ended and she began."
~Leo Tolstoy~

Prayers for my husband~his work.

A few weeks ago I shared about how I never prayed for my husband and how I wanted that to change.....

(prayer taken from "The power of a praying wife" by Stormie Omartian)

Lord, I pray that You would bless the work of my husband's hands. May his labor bring not only favor, success, and prosperity, but great fulfillment as well. If the work he is doing is not in line with Your perfect will for his life, reveal it to him.

Give him strength, faith and a vision for the future so he can rise above any propensity for laziness. Help him to see that he doesn't have to work himself to death for man's approval, or grasp for gain beyond what is a gift from You. Give him the ability to enjoy his success without striving for more. Help him to excel, but free him from the pressure to do so.

I pray that You will be Lord over his work, and may he bring You into every aspect of it. Give him enough confidence in the gifts You've place in him to be able to seek, find and do good work. Open up doors of opportunity for him that no man can close. Develop his skills so that they grow more valuable with each passing year. Show me what I can do to encourage him.

I pray that his work will be established, secure, successful, satisfying, and financially rewarding. Let him be like a tree planted by the stream of Your living water, which brings forth fruit in due season. May he never wither under pressure, but grow strong and prosper."

"Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands for us;
yes, establish the work of our hands."

Psalm 90:17

LETS PRINT IT & PRAY IT!!!!

Balance~learning to love.

My husband works like no other man I
have EVER met on this earth!
I'm talkin' sweat, blood and bursting forehead veins!, (he has this one vein that pops out on the side of his head if he works too hard or if the heat is too intense while he's working)!

I am convinced he can do anything he puts his mind and heart to.

(pictures in this post from a local home show created by EWBN)

We had a "discussion" this weekend around our kitchen table.

Some raised voices and some shed tears from both sides.

It was about work.

The discussion matched the one we've been having for 8 years now

and that one seemingly insurmountable word:

BALANCE.

Sometimes I wish he were employed;

nicely, neatly, unstressfully employed, (the grass is greener lest I forget!!)
Instead he graciously *employs* himself and others through his excellent business EWBN.

(Jake with Rueben, his brother and business partner).

On top of owning, running and working his business he is renovating the carriage house for his Mom to live in.....and the heat is on, (or shall I say, the COLD is on)....

Winter is sneaking up on us,

I feel her nearness on this cold, rainy day.

We emotionally provide for one another in such drastically opposite ways.

All he does is for us, working hard, providing, long work days, this is how he says he loves us and yet I need *more*....I want his presence!

All I do is for him and yet he needs *more*.....he wants my understanding and respect! I didn't realize how the little things I do or don't say effect him so greatly. We don't realize in general how we signal all day long that we don't respect/love each other. We don't intend for it to happen, life just takes over and we just get through each day together.
Yet, there's got to be more to life and love then this!!

I was listening to a podcast last week on Focus on the Family.
If ANY of this sounds familiar you may enjoy popping over there for a listen.
It's a 3 part series and some of the best listening I've done in awhile.

Tomorrow I'll be posting a new prayer for our husbands in regard to their work.

It's a beautifully written prayer by Stormie Omartian and its stirred my heart anew toward my husband and his work, for example:
"May his labor bring not only favor, success, and prosperity, but great fulfillment as well.....develop his skills so that they may grow more valuable with each passing year.
Show me what I can do to encourage him."

In all honesty, it's ME who wants some encouragement.

SAY this to me.

DO this for me.
RECOGNIZE this about me.

me, me, me.

This is where I'm at right now,
but it's not where I want to stay.
I'm renting a campsite here,

but I'm looking to buy some property & build elsewhere.

Of course we as wives have areas we need to be fulfilled in.
Things that only our husband can, (and should) be providing.

Yet, when things aren't being met *to our expectations*, how do we act?

I'M DOWNRIGHT UGLY I'll tell ya that right now!

And I don't like it.

So, God and I are going to CHANGE THE WAY I ACT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
If nothing goes how I think it might, then who really cares anyway
because I'm better off for the changes I've made in me.

Here's the DANGEROUS THING ABOUT BLOGGING:
You're seeing through a keyhole into someones home....
you only catch a glimpse.

I am not a wonderful, supportive wife.

We have issues.

The only difference is I'm not okay with staying that way

and I hope you aren't either.

Join me tomorrow if you're able.....

"Chains do not hold a marriage together.
It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads
which sew people together through the years."
~Simone Signoret

Throwing fits.

I can throw fits
with the best of them.
You know, clean like a crazy woman, huff and sigh and pout and go inward.
Make a big pot of emotional stew,
sit back and watch it simmer.

(I'm sure you know nothing of what I speak about)!

I care about myself more then my husband.

I want what I want, when I want it.

I don't listen well.
I'm distracted easily,
by life, kids, laundry, stupid stuff.

This isn't about trying to be "real" for this post/my blog....
it's the truth of my life right now.

It's really quite pathetic, but true.
I've been thinking about it lately.

More so since I started praying/meditating on the

prayer I posted last week.

Another prayer was going to be posted today,
but quite frankly, last weeks prayer is too good to

pass by in 7 short days.

There's more in it for me
and probably for you too if you care to read it.
As my friend Jeane' mentioned it's a good one to PRINT OUT
and hang over the kitchen sink,
(or the place where you spend the most time)!

"One of the greatest
gifts you can give your husband
is your own wholeness."

~Omartian~

a beautiful song that encouraged my soul tonight.
(you can mute the music at the bottom of the page).

Praying for my husband.

I don't pray for my husband.

I can't remember the last time I prayed for him.....

I mean REALLY prayed.

Besides the general, "please keep him safe today, give him all the strength and wisdom he needs" breath prayers that are quickly sighed to the heavens each morning between feeding the children their breakfasts and making coffee.

I'm convicted and ashamed to say it, but it's the truth and

I want to change it,

starting now.

If you're married I'd love for you to join me! I'm going to be posting a prayer for the week for the next little while. {And you know what, even if you're NOT married you can still pray these prayers for that man *somewhere out there* that you may one day call "husband."}

There are so many *things* I like to accomplish each day, most feel non-eternal. This is something I look forward to doing. Even if it means I take one sentence a day and meditate on it.....on my husbands behalf.

(excerpts taken from "the Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian)

*PRAYING FOR HIS WIFE*

Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering and the willingness to bear all things . take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.

Only YOU can transform me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband.

Enable us to communicate well...make me my husband's helpmate, companion, champion, friend and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him.

Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.

I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accpeting that neither of us is perfect and never will be.

Teach me how to pray for my husband.

Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive.

Make us a team.

I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise.

BREATHE YOUR LIFE into this marriage.

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife and let it be me."

"through wisdom a house is built,

and by understanding it is established."

Proverbs 24:3