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Monday, May 23, 2011

Junk in the trunk

I don't know about you, but I'm getting so SICK of hearing about all these men boys who can't keep their junk in their trunk....if you know what I mean!!  Whatever happened to faithfulness?  Sexual purity AFTER you're married?  Forget the "save yourself for marriage", (which I'm a big fan of), what about the "save yourself when you're married" part!  It's really discouraging when the media attention is focused so much on who did what, with whom, when, where and how!  And it's not just in the media, some far-away person that we'd never know or see.  It's people around us; our friends, in our churches, our families, our neighbors.  It feels like so many marriages are dying around me.  The marriage graveyard is filling up, all that's remembered is the date when love began, then a dash, and then the day it died.  But what about the inbetween times? 
The "dash" days?

Maybe I'm just getting old...and hearing more about the difficulties that people live in. The decision making that one or both spouses make and the heart-breaking, soul-wrecking home life of so manyWhat does purity look like after you're married?  For 3 years? 10 years? 25 years? 50 years?  I don't claim to know that's for sure.  I'm just wondering, typing outloud.

I want to know how to walk and live in purity with my man.  I had posted something on my personal facebook page a few days back, when all the secrets were crashing out of Arnold's closet.  "Mr. Schwarzenegger, it's too bad you couldn't keep your pants zipped" that was my status update.  And I meant it.  It is too bad.  It's a shame.  It's shame-full.  It's shaming. It's shame. 

One of my friends commented that he deserves grace just like any of us that have sinned, that have missed the mark.  That he too was in bondage these ten years, (or however many), hiding the secret(s) and most likely in great anxiety over doing so.  It's not easy keeping secrets. And I agree with that statement, that he deserves grace, (and some good public humiliation).  He is free in a way, now that his secret is out. 

And yet, the pain has really only begun for him and especially for Maria and their innocent children.  And what's it worth?  A few nights of uncommitted pleasure, or whatever you want to call it.  I'm just a little tired of hearing about all these affairs around us.  Affairs of the heart that lead to affairs of the body that lead to affairs of the soul.  And don't misunderstand my words, I'm not casting judgement on those people, (or on you) or those you know and love.  I've got some serious logs in my eyes, I don't have time to look at your splinters. (Matthew 7:1-5)

The fact is, there's a lot of icy cold days that come from hot steamy nights. And it makes me sad. So much destruction and betrayal. Depression and anger. Death. Anyway, I'm sounding like a broken record. Here's the deal: WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THESE SITUATIONS that surround us?  How can we PURSUE purity in our marriages?  We're just babies in this whole marriage thing, only 9 years old, but I want to grow old with this man; my lover, my friend, my baby Daddy.  

 "Keep watch on yourself,
lest you too be tempted." 
Galatians 6:1

And I guess that about sums it up,
What can I be doing to strengthen, grow and protect our union?  I don't have the answers to that tonight.  All I know is there is a call to FIGHT for what we LOVE, for WHO we love.  And I cannot fight in my own strength, that's for sure!  And so I ask my Lord to fill me up again so I can have eyes to see, so I can take heed in my spirit, so I can get/keep my act together so our together can stay together...... come back on Wednesday, I'll be posting a prayer for your husbands marriage!

"All marriages are happy.
It's the living together afterward
that causes all the trouble."
~Raymond Hull~


Tawana Durante said...

I could not agree with you more!!!! It's enough already!

Ang Stoltzfus said...

thank you for writing this. anyone that is married needs to be reminded to GUARD their relationships! no matter how "old" or "new" the marriage is!
& thank you for spurring me on in my marriage ;) for listening...for caring...& for encourageing me to be intentional. i love you so much girl & i love living life only a mile down the road from each other!

Anonymous said...

Do you remember the old Steve Green song from 1994, 'Guard Your Heart'? Here is a quick link to it if you have 3.5 minutes. What a great reminder to all married people.

clarita said...

Janelle, I've been SO inspired and encouraged reading your blog and catching up on the several posts that I missed... You have SUCH a beautiful heart, and that comes out in huge ways in your blog! I love the passion the overflows, the heart for God, and I SO love the passion you have for marriages. Not just before, but after as well. That is SO huge, and I was greatly encouraged and inspired by the Ralph Lauren family... The friendship and love between them. It is one thing to STAY married, and that is honorable in itself. And it is a completely other thing to be married and be faithful and BEST FRIENDS after 40 years of marriage! Those kinds of marriages are SO rare to see, and yet SO inspiring when seen - it gives so much HOPE for the future!

Thank you, thank you, for the beautiful thoughts you've shared. As for the projects you mentioned, those would be lovely to be seen as well! But I understand the time thing completely! I have so many things in my head that never make it to the blog! :)

A lovely day to you, sweet Janelle!

Rob said...

I love this post. and i love your blog name too. You should win Shawn's contest for the month!