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Sunday, August 26, 2012

school starts tomorrow

tomorrow morning i will say goodbye to my sweet guy. 
8:25am-3:30pm
i can hardly type it. 
 i am so excited for him and kinda sad for me. 
 thankful for the beautiful daily life we share together. 
 i will miss him here, his imagination that infuses every hour. 
 his presence. his conversation. 
him. 
be good to him world. 


And tomorrow marks an extra special day for our Lukie.
The very first, first day of school. 
He's so excited and has all his things in order.
He doesn't seem scared or nervous right now, but confident.
I will miss his happy play, his endless inventions. 
I'm grateful he will only be gone half the day, 
from 12:30-3:30. 
My baby isn't a baby anymore. 
He's strong.
and independent.
and ready. 


It's almost midnight.
I had am having a good cry. 
They don't need me quite so much 
and that's the way it should be, but letting go is hard. 

I love you boys so much. 

"The days are long but the years are short."
~Mom’s wisdom~

Monday, August 13, 2012

Tyler's 7th Birthday.


 Our sweet boy turned 7 earlier this summer. 
A few weeks before Capri was born we threw a party for him. 
It was such a joy planning WITH him this year. 
He had so many ideas and knew what he liked, who he wanted there and such.  I love CELEBRATING LIFE!!!  


  The boys spent most of their time out at the "train station." 
Tyler and Luke put this area together and were so proud of it!
They could hardly wait to show it to their friends and PLAY! 




 

Tyler is a lover of life!

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACOB TYLER!!



 SILLY STRING! 

  
 



Monday, August 6, 2012

waiting

right now i'm waiting for the laundry to be finished so i can put it into the dryer. 
i'm waiting for jake to come home.
waiting for a phone call to be returned.
waiting.

it seems that we are always waiting for something.  some we know are waiting for their loved ones to wake up.  waiting for signs of life.  waiting for hope to fill them again.  waiting for eyes to open and life to be revived.  waiting for their womb to be filled.  waiting for their womb to be emptied.  waiting for a lover to call their own. waiting for their lover to call. waiting for viruses to run their course. waiting for cells to be killed so life can be lived.   waiting for school to start. waiting for school to end. waiting for the party to start. waiting for the party to end. waiting for the next deposit so groceries can be bought. waiting for dinner to be done. waiting to leave. waiting to return. waiting to go to bed. waiting for the sunrise. waiting for the first step. waiting for death. 

see?  waiting is our life.
and perhaps we could, as our pastor once said, "learn to wait well."  that's what i want in my heart. in the deep, deep places of who i am, i want to not be afraid of waiting. 
i want to wait patiently.
wait peacefully.
even wait joyfully. 

because afterall, 
if waiting is our life than how we wait is who we are.  

i like what john eldredge and his wife stasi have to say about it:

Living in true beauty can require much waiting, much time, much tenacity of spirit. We must constantly direct our gazes toward the face of God, even in the presence of longing and sorrow. It is in the waiting that our hearts are enlarged. The waiting does not diminish us… God does not always rescue us out of painful season. You know that he does not always give to us what we so desperately want when we want it. He is after something much more valuable than our happiness. Much more substantive than our health. He is restoring and growing in us an eternal weight of glory. And sometimes… it hurts.
Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge