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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Capri's Birth Story~born in tears.

The first contraction woke me up out of a deep sleep. 
12:30 am. 

Was that it? The "real" thing?
I fell asleep again, excited.  Excited because it might be near, the beginning of the beginning!  They kept coming every 10 minutes apart....I think it's show time.  I woke Jake and said it might be time to fill the birthing pool.
He moved like lightening.  
Quick and silent.
1:00 am

 I called our dear midwife and my gracious sister who was going to come take the children. Both said to wait thirty minutes and see what happens. Now they started coming quickly, every 5-7 minutes.  Anticipation and peace filled the air. I heard the water pouring into the pool, making a constant trickling sound.  The night was quiet, the kids fast asleep to the droning noise of their air conditioner.  I lit some candles and settled in.  
Just how I like it.  I thought about the cake I had wanted to make, but realized things were moving too fast.  I could just feel it. I stood with each contraction and walked and moved and wrote down the times, (my niece Lindsay took these pictures).
1:30 am

I called my midwife again letting her know the contractions were getting closer. 
2:00 am

She was on her way, thankful to drive the speed limit to one of our births!  She even had time to stop and help put a colt back into it's pen....only in Lancaster County! My sister too arrived in short order.  She also had Maribeth as her midwife with her 5 children so it was special seeing their reunion and interaction.  
2:30 am

When I labor I experience what I call a "forewarning" that my next contraction is coming. It's about 2 seconds before the contraction hits and I get a sensation inside that tells me it's about to happen. It's just enough time to gather strength and breath. I like this warning, so to speak. It is enormously helpful to me, to preparing me and engaging me....leading me. A labor gift.  

Between contractions we woke the children and said our goodbyes. It was quite hilarious looking back.  I would feel a contraction coming on, walk quickly out of the room, close the nursery door and then reappear after a minute or so.  
Tyler woke up more reluctantly
wanting to go back to sleep.  
Luke hopped out of a sound sleep to gather his little suitcase and pack his toothbrush. 
 Paisley cried a bit, wondering if the guys were going along with her. 
Luke gave me the sweetest hug, 
"next time I see you Mom, you will have a baby!"
It was so dear.        
2:45 am

After the children left, our favorite nurse Donna arrived and my niece Lindsay, who is studying to be a Midwife.  
Everyone was there and things were moving quickly.  Maribeth said I was 5 centimeters and could get into the birthing pool.  Little did I know that Jake had been boiling water  this whole time on the stove top as well as filling with the garden hose, (we hook a new, unused garden hose to the kitchen faucet and lead it up the stairs to fill the birthing pool).  Our hot water heater only produces so much hot water at once.  He had a feeling things would go fast so he took matters into his own hands.  Sweet man
3:00 am

As with each of my other labors, the birthing pool was such a relief to me. So soothing and comforting, warm and relaxing.  
There was a fan blowing on me so I wouldn't get too hot.  Lindsay put on my labor playlist.  It was beautiful. 
Another gauge for me, in knowing I'm nearing the pushing phase, is that I get very nauseous and throw up.  (Sorry if it's too much detail, but it's the way things happen, so I'm sharing it).  Anyway, when I felt that urge coming on I kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm here already, it's only 3:15."  I remember so clearly looking up at the clock as I raced into the bathroom.  
3:15 am

"You're having a boomin' labor" said Maribeth....and boy, was she right!  I was excited and nervous!  Excited because our baby would be here so soon!  Nervous because I knew the work that was ahead for that to be our reality!  I was having great breaks between the contractions, (a deal breaker I think).  When your contractions come one on top of the other, it makes it harder to gather the courage you need.  It was this way with Paisley's birth, hardly any break from one to the next.  I was so grateful for the rest this time around. 
3:30 am

At one point as I was listening to the music and looking around me, at Maribeth and Donna standing at the edge of the pool.  They had walked with me through my miscarriages and now were here with me waiting for this sweet new life.  Tears of thanksgiving began to fall.  I couldn't help but praise our God in that moment.   Tears of thanksgiving for this redemptive moment in my our life. The lyrics that were playing sang as this:

"faith is rising, I can see it, 
You are smiling over me.
perfect love is filling up.
fear is leaving.
fear is fleeing.
perfect love is singing over me."

Sometimes we as humans don't see His faithfulness in our lives. 
We dwell in valleys.
Surrounded by shadows of death.
A lot of times we don't know His goodness.
His nearness.  
He seems hidden.
And then every once in awhile He comes so near we can do nothing but praise.  
This was that time.
3:40 am

And this is why I entitled the post "born in tears" because she was.
Tears of redemption come near.
I pushed once and her head was out. 
I had to wait for the next contraction. 
The worst part of it all. 
The fiery pain that brings new life. 
I knew I could make it, I could do it.  I WAS doing it.
It was almost over.  Digging deep.
I will not forget that pain any time soon. 
With the next push she was here. 
3:46 am

"I love you, I love you, I love you so much" I cried.
it just kept saying it, crying it. I could not be silent. 
Finally we looked to see it was a girl.
I thought my heart would burst.
It took my breath away!

full of peace.
our annie capri.
our kairos moment. 

simple love.

In Daddy's strong arms.   

toes just like Daddy....(both pictured)! 

Lindsay with her new cousin. xoxo. 

Jake~Maribeth~Donna.  The Dream Team.

"The moments of happiness we enjoy 
take us by surprise. 
It is not that we seize them, 
but that they seize us."
~Ashley Montagu~

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

capri days

Hello all. 
we're doing well here in our home, 
2 weeks since adding a new soul.
adjusting to our new normal, our new sweet sunshine.
she has made it easy to say the least, (it's still hard at times because I'm tired, but for the most part this adjustment has been my easiest...I attribute it to the ages of the older 3 children.  Makes SUCH a difference having older kids around)! 
for real though, she is
our first outing was last week, swimming at my sister's house. she slept the entire time in the gazebo. summer breezes all around her. 

i'm getting my creative energy out by creating facebook 
"cover photos" over at  so fun!  
here is one of my favs from july 4th.

also i've been doing a little redecorating too.  added some "nautical" touches to the living room last week.
i miss the beach so badly.
so i brought it home.

Seriously loved little girl!
The older children are CONSTANTLY asking to hold her.
They love her so much. 
Paisley and Luke don't say their letter r's quite clearly yet so the way they say her name is just ridiculously cute!

one week old.
she looks so much older.
she stares a hole right into your soul.
not many smiles, very inquisitive.
very much like the moment she was born, 
(i WILL share her birth story, it's just taking time to write). 

Coffee with Capri.

Ruche has a new line of clothing.
it's not even right.

This is where I find my girls 
most of the day!
I'm so thankful for our little "nook", it's just right for Capri
and Paisley loves to pull her chair up and be with her sister.
loves it. 

My Paisley-girl is growing up so fast!!
and boy, can she TALK!! she's so expressive and tells stories with such gusto!  I love interacting with her.
she's feisty too, don't get me wrong! 
SUGAR AND SPICE and everything nice! :)

Almost time for the midnight feeding so I better get going.  I'm not a scheduled feeder by nature, wasn't with my other children either, more of an on-demand nurser, but Capri has fallen nicely into the 12am, 3am, 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm feedings all by herself so I'm going with it.....although some nights I just don't go to bed until after this feeding, (normally we're in bed by 10)....I know I'm going to have to wake up anyway, so what's 2 extra hours?  :)

"People who say they sleep like a baby 
usually don't have one."
  ~Leo J. Burke~