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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Capri's Birth Story~born in tears.

The first contraction woke me up out of a deep sleep. 
12:30 am. 

Was that it? The "real" thing?
I fell asleep again, excited.  Excited because it might be near, the beginning of the beginning!  They kept coming every 10 minutes apart....I think it's show time.  I woke Jake and said it might be time to fill the birthing pool.
He moved like lightening.  
Quick and silent.
1:00 am


 I called our dear midwife and my gracious sister who was going to come take the children. Both said to wait thirty minutes and see what happens. Now they started coming quickly, every 5-7 minutes.  Anticipation and peace filled the air. I heard the water pouring into the pool, making a constant trickling sound.  The night was quiet, the kids fast asleep to the droning noise of their air conditioner.  I lit some candles and settled in.  
Just how I like it.  I thought about the cake I had wanted to make, but realized things were moving too fast.  I could just feel it. I stood with each contraction and walked and moved and wrote down the times, (my niece Lindsay took these pictures).
1:30 am

I called my midwife again letting her know the contractions were getting closer. 
2:00 am


She was on her way, thankful to drive the speed limit to one of our births!  She even had time to stop and help put a colt back into it's pen....only in Lancaster County! My sister too arrived in short order.  She also had Maribeth as her midwife with her 5 children so it was special seeing their reunion and interaction.  
2:30 am


When I labor I experience what I call a "forewarning" that my next contraction is coming. It's about 2 seconds before the contraction hits and I get a sensation inside that tells me it's about to happen. It's just enough time to gather strength and breath. I like this warning, so to speak. It is enormously helpful to me, to preparing me and engaging me....leading me. A labor gift.  



Between contractions we woke the children and said our goodbyes. It was quite hilarious looking back.  I would feel a contraction coming on, walk quickly out of the room, close the nursery door and then reappear after a minute or so.  
Tyler woke up more reluctantly
wanting to go back to sleep.  
Luke hopped out of a sound sleep to gather his little suitcase and pack his toothbrush. 
 Paisley cried a bit, wondering if the guys were going along with her. 
Luke gave me the sweetest hug, 
"next time I see you Mom, you will have a baby!"
It was so dear.        
2:45 am


After the children left, our favorite nurse Donna arrived and my niece Lindsay, who is studying to be a Midwife.  
Everyone was there and things were moving quickly.  Maribeth said I was 5 centimeters and could get into the birthing pool.  Little did I know that Jake had been boiling water  this whole time on the stove top as well as filling with the garden hose, (we hook a new, unused garden hose to the kitchen faucet and lead it up the stairs to fill the birthing pool).  Our hot water heater only produces so much hot water at once.  He had a feeling things would go fast so he took matters into his own hands.  Sweet man
3:00 am


As with each of my other labors, the birthing pool was such a relief to me. So soothing and comforting, warm and relaxing.  
There was a fan blowing on me so I wouldn't get too hot.  Lindsay put on my labor playlist.  It was beautiful. 
Another gauge for me, in knowing I'm nearing the pushing phase, is that I get very nauseous and throw up.  (Sorry if it's too much detail, but it's the way things happen, so I'm sharing it).  Anyway, when I felt that urge coming on I kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm here already, it's only 3:15."  I remember so clearly looking up at the clock as I raced into the bathroom.  
3:15 am


"You're having a boomin' labor" said Maribeth....and boy, was she right!  I was excited and nervous!  Excited because our baby would be here so soon!  Nervous because I knew the work that was ahead for that to be our reality!  I was having great breaks between the contractions, (a deal breaker I think).  When your contractions come one on top of the other, it makes it harder to gather the courage you need.  It was this way with Paisley's birth, hardly any break from one to the next.  I was so grateful for the rest this time around. 
3:30 am


At one point as I was listening to the music and looking around me, at Maribeth and Donna standing at the edge of the pool.  They had walked with me through my miscarriages and now were here with me waiting for this sweet new life.  Tears of thanksgiving began to fall.  I couldn't help but praise our God in that moment.   Tears of thanksgiving for this redemptive moment in my life...in our life. The lyrics that were playing sang as this:


"faith is rising, I can see it, 
You are smiling over me.
perfect love is filling up.
fear is leaving.
fear is fleeing.
perfect love is singing over me."

Sometimes we as humans don't see His faithfulness in our lives. 
We dwell in valleys.
Surrounded by shadows of death.
A lot of times we don't know His goodness.
His nearness.  
He seems hidden.
And then every once in awhile He comes so near we can do nothing but praise.  
This was that time.
3:40 am


And this is why I entitled the post "born in tears" because she was.
Tears of redemption come near.
I pushed once and her head was out. 
I had to wait for the next contraction. 
The worst part of it all. 
The fiery pain that brings new life. 
I knew I could make it, I could do it.  I WAS doing it.
It was almost over.  Digging deep.
I will not forget that pain any time soon. 
With the next push she was here. 
HERE.
3:46 am


"I love you, I love you, I love you so much" I cried.
it just kept saying it, crying it. 
so.much.love. I could not be silent. 
Finally we looked to see it was a girl.
I thought my heart would burst.
It took my breath away!
A GIRL!


full of peace.
contentment.
engaged.
curious.
present. 
our annie capri.
our kairos moment. 

simple love.

In Daddy's strong arms.   

toes just like Daddy....(both pictured)! 

Lindsay with her new cousin. xoxo. 

Jake~Maribeth~Donna.  The Dream Team.


"The moments of happiness we enjoy 
take us by surprise. 
It is not that we seize them, 
but that they seize us."
~Ashley Montagu~

15 comments:

Faith said...

What an incredible miracle! Thank you for sharing!

Tawana said...

Simply beautiful.....I had my 4 all C-section, and am so thankful I have them, but it's so sweet to read your precious story!! Thank you for sharing it!

emfrbu said...

i read this over my dinner break at work and started tearing up. love it. beautiful. much love to you and your now bigger family. thanks for all of your writings that take the fear out of birth. it is a beautiful thing--at home, in a hospital, in an operating room. it is holy ground.

clarita said...

Janelle, you wrote this so beautifully! The stories of labor and delivery are so touching to me, perhaps because I can relate so well!! But your words brought me to tears, as I so well know that incredibly love-feeling that surges over you upon the delivery of your child into the world. It is unlike anything else I've ever experienced!

Thanks so much for writing this! I'm so blessed by you!

I think of you often, and wondering how your days are with the four children now! Three for me has been very busy, but I'd say it's not nearly the adjustment that two was. Little Hudson has just fit in so well, we all adore him!

Love to you!

SuLa said...

Uau......*_* Seja bem-vindo Baby-linda Annie Capri...♥ Sua mamãe e papai estão babando com a sua chegada, cuty-cuty nenem♥Linda.
Aos olhos olho d´Deus nosso pai que nos- presenteia com essas pessoinhas ricamente abençoada um milagre mesmo!
Parabéns querida sua família é muito linda que nosso senhor Jesus cubra sempre vocêis todos com muita LUZ. Também sou mãe de três filhos os preimeiros foram um casalsinho de gêmeos depois veio mais um após cinco anos oh! Glória...rsrs ser mãe é a melhor coisa do mundo! Muito linda as músicas, *_* super beijos.

AmyK said...

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing. I've been eager to hear Capri's birth story!!

Beth said...

Maribeth is a doll! I love Donna too! I'm great friends with her sister. Sabrina was my midwife for my vbac in March. I love the ladies there at the birthing center! Loved your beauitful story, thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Wow so beautiful and encouraging! Love you! It made me cry for sure! So amazing! Hannah day

elaine said...

What a beautiful story!Love Capri's puzzled expression as she takes in her new world.

Rachel said...

i loved this Janelle. so much. little Capri is surely blessed to be in a family with so much love.

The lady of the house... said...

thank you each for your kind words! here is the translation of the Portuguese comment if you care to read: Wow ...... * _ * Welcome Baby Annie Capri beautiful ... ♥ Your Mom and Dad are drooling with his arrival, cuty cuty-nenem ♥ Linda.
Eye to Eye d'God our father who presents us with these little people richly blessed a miracle indeed!
Congratulations dear family is very nice that our Lord Jesus always cover all. I am also a mother of three sons a twin then came over one after five years oh! Glory be ... lol mom is the best thing ever! Very beautiful songs, * _ * super kisses.

Ang Stoltzfus said...

janelle- love that "dream team" pic! thank you for sharing the details. as i was reading, i checked my phone & looked back at the text that you sent me that night:)

"June 22,2012 2:11AM-Pretty sure its show time! Kids leaving shortly and midwife on her way."
love it!

hoping to see you again soon.

Missy. said...

LOVE it. and you did have the dream team. lucky you!!! my favorite line, " the fiery pain that leads to new life " oh. how true that is. :) blessings and congratulations. ~missy.

Kelli said...

Beautiful birth story for your sweet Capri.

Bess Ulrich said...

No matter how many times I hear a birth story like this (in person or reading it), I still tear up. So beautiful!