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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

5 ways to Spice up the Spice up!!

Well, it's Valentine's Day season. And that has nothing to do with this post. It's a nice time to remember your Lover and all....and do special things for them; buy them gifts, write a card, hug an extra hug. We all have an opportunity to SHOW our love in one way or another on a regular's right there if we take the time to realize it in the midst of everydayness. It's not easy, but it can become a habit. This post is about one way we can show our husband's we love them.....

"We're hitting a top priority in a man's life right away. I feel we can contribute to our husbands' happiness in these areas most dear to their hearts. I've observed that frequently the sexual relationship is a low priority on women's minds. It isn't that the wife cares nothing about that part of her life. It's that there are so many other things screaming for her attention, such a raising children, work, finances, managing a home, emotional stress, exhaustion, sickness and marital strife.

In the wife's juggling of priorities, sex can end up on the bottom of her list. For a wife, sex comes out of affection. She doesn't want to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel angry, hurt, lonely, disappointed, overworked, unsupported, uncared for , or abandoned.

But for a husband, sex is pure need
. His eyes, ears, brain, and emotions get clouded if he doesn't have that release. It's important to make sex a matter of priority in your marriage. Whether all conditions are perfect or
whether you feel like it or not isn't the point. The point is meeting the needs of your husband and keeping communication lines open. There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable.

If your attitude about having sex comes down to only what you need or what you don't want, then you don't have God's perspective. He says our body is to be used to comfort and complete the other person. Something is built up in the man and the marriage when this need is met by his wife. Something is diminished when it is not. You leave yourselves open for temptation, and far more destruction than you can imagine, when this area of intimate communication is neglected. It can happen to anyone, and that's why the sexual aspect of your marriage and your husband's sexuality need to be covered in prayer. And it's best to start praying about it before you have to."

An excerpt from Stormie Omartian's book~
"The Power of a Praying Wife"

There are so many variables in EACH of your homes and I recognize that. There are marriages that are unhealthy and very difficult in other areas and so it automatically spills over into the bedroom. I don't want to make it sound so *simple* because it's not just about having a great sex life and then all your problems are's obviously not that at all. There are physical, mental and emotional issues that are not even being addressed here. That's not what this post is about.....what it IS about is keeping the spice in an already healthy marriage.....which can be difficult in it's own right.

So,without further ado,


1.) BUY SOME NEW UNDERWEAR~~I don't know about you, but most days I reach into that drawer and skim over the ones that: a.) are too tight, b.) are too big, c.) um, are those maternity?, d.) are ugly, e.) I wouldn't be caught dead in. So, just spend $20 and buy SOME NEW ONES. A goal of mine would be to reach blindly into my drawer and be fine with anything I pull out! (Sure, good luck with that one)!

2.) FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOU~~start by SHAVING. I remember the days that I would shave just in case he would accidentally rub by my leg, now there are many days that I work pretty hard to keep my prickly, poky legs away from his. I feel better about myself if I'm smooth. And hair conditioner works pretty well if you don't have shaving creme/gel. HAVE A BEDTIME LOTION~~A fragrance that is only used at bedtime. Something soothing and calming and use it consistently. A smell that will conjure up thoughts of bedtime and all that can go along with it. It's also a great time to let the lotion moisturize through the night hours.

3.) KEEP YOUR BEDROOM YOURS~~the kids have their own room(s) for a reason. Try to keep anything that is THEIRS out of your space. I don't even let the kids play in our room, (well, it's a rare occasion anyway if they do). I'm not too proud to say, "get out of my room." With a smile of course.....well, not really. Create a bed that you would want to crawl into. Soft sheets with a high thread count, (250 or more), snugly blankets and beautiful pillow cases, (all of this is relatively inexpensive and normally not a purchase that is made very often so spending a little upfront goes a long way). Buy some linen spray to keep the sheets smelling fresh between washes, (and in case your husband farts under the sheets at night)!

4.) SAY SOMETHING~~Your husband probably doesn't know what you want or need. Here's my best line:
"I'm your only option for sex and you're my only option for a date!" or how about this one that I've used before: "my love tank is empty, I'm sputtering out by the side of the road, there's dirt in my fuel filter!" Hey, I'm just trying to speak his "language"!

5.) MINISTER TO YOUR HUSBAND~~preferably with your clothes off!! We as women have such a POWERFUL, GOD-GIVEN PLACE in their life and heart and body. We are anointed to bless them like NO ONE ELSE CAN! Stay tuned tomorrow, I'll be posting a prayer that you might be interested in.....

"He felt now that he was not simply close to her,
but that he did not know where he ended and she began."
~Leo Tolstoy~


AmyK said...

I've been thinking I need to get some new fun lingerie (to scatter on the floor, of course), and now I'm even more motivated. ;)

Bess said...

I've been waiting, and here it is! You did it! :) Great writing, and great suggestions! :)

Tawana D. said...

Thanks for the encouragement Janelle!! We don't really know each other, but I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog!! I've been married 23 years, and a LOT of life has happened!! I like reading the fresh, young, honest, and humorous perspective that comes through in your blog SERIOUSLY, thank you, I needed to hear that today!!!! (my hubby will appreciate it too, (-; )

Shelly said...

I love this post! Each point is great . . . and I'm glad to hear that another mom out there protects her bedroom from those kiddos. Ha! I love how you tell them to get out with a smile . . . I'm not sure if I always have a smile when I tell them to stay off of my bed [I'll try to work on that]. They may climb in with me in the morning or sit on it before it's made, but after that?? No! I have a down comforter that must not be trampled on by little pig toes or wrinkled for that matter . . . so off with you! :) "Feeling good about me" for me includes working to keep off extra weight and stay fit . . . which I am in process with at the moment since 3rd babies arrival in December. Takes hard work and determination, but gives me such greater confidence in the bedroom!! Ok, this is long enough. Thanks for posting these delicious little tidbits.

Anonymous said...

myself & two friends (won't mention names to spare them any embarrassment!) did a little shopping today and decided to add some "SPICE" into our lives!
without saying too much, should be a good weekend for us all! :)
thanks for the motivation and encouragement to keep it lively and fun!

clarita said...

Oh, I love this! And I'm thinking that your husband must be thinking that he is one lucky man!! :) So many good points in here... and so much what I need to hear right now - right in the thick of mothering, it can be so easy to feel like I have no energy or motivation for "that kind of stuff" - reminds me of your sister Fan's post on marriage-centered or child-centered marriages. What really IS important in the large scope of things??? I love all your tips too... goodness, you make me want to go out and go shopping. :) And keeping our bedroom as strictly ours... that's my policy too. NO LITTLE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED. :) All toys that strayed in need to be taken out before daddy comes home from work... And wanting that room to be inviting - somehow, because it's not a room that's seen that often [by myself, by guests] it was easy to let that our bedroom be the last room in the house to clean and just work on decorating... I really like that idea to have a "bedtime lotion." What's your favorite? :)

Jeane` said...

Way to go, Janelle!!!
And my pride would like me to insert here, that (based on the first picture of myself in my latest post) I DO clean up/spiffy myself up, even if just with lipstick/perfume by the time my hunka burnin' love comes through the back door (and I try not to throw the children at him and run past him!!!) ;) There, thank you for letting me get that off my chest. Again, GREAT and daring writing!

emfrbu said...

so are you saying that you want me to host a sex-toy party? is that what i'm hearing? because they are a raucous good time...

Michelle said...

I love you, dear friend! Thanks for this post - they are GREAT reminders, especially for those of us who have been married a while...11 years! :)

The lady of the house... said...

well, Ladies, I don't need to tell YOU to have a great I'm pretty sure it will be! :)

Em~sure, you tell me where and when and I'll be there to laugh and blush and leave empty handed....we're good to go with what the good Lord has given us! ;)

Clarita~I've used Bath and Body Works "sensual amber" for 7 years and finally just decided to switch it up, now its "brown sugar and fig". Really like them both and will buy several at a time.

Thanks for daring to comment. I had to chuckle because according my stats this was the most visited post EVER on my blogs history!!! :)