4 weeks to go, (give or take).

it's getting closer.

the due date. 

each morning i have more excitement about meeting this sweet, sweet baby....and each night i have to take my heart back to the Safe Place, (i tend to worry alot toward the pending due date, as i'm sure many women do....what if i can't do this?  what if something happens to this baby?  what if....what if?).  i was writing a friend the other day, (emailing actually, so i shouldn't really say "writing").....here's a little excerpt of what i shared with her:

BEACH BABY, 35 WEEKS. 

"... this is also the time my trust and faith have to dig deeper, what if something happens?  am i crazy for having a homebirth? what if our baby has downs syndrome and we don't know it? all that stuff that cannot be answered and all that stuff that gets right in my face and says, "you are out of control."  AND IT'S GOOD AND OK AND WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN.  jake is so good about calling me back to Jesus, back to the place where my safety is, not perfection, safety.  on one hand i 've been facing this since we decided to have tyler at home, so i'm kinda use to the familiar feelings that come about choosing homebirth and such.  but, we have no reason to not be comfortable here at home, with 3 beautiful labors and deliveries in my mind and heart and remembrance, i am put at ease and remember what has been....and what can be again."

so the preparation continues, both physically in getting our home ready and all that is needed for a homebirth, (which surprisingly isn't very much).  funny how it takes so little, (as in "stuff") to birth a baby, but more to care for it once it's here.  bassinet. diapers. wipes. lotions. bottles. nuks. stroller. burp clothes. clothing. on and on.  my preparation, here at the end/beginning is more emotionally. I read this article recently and found it so true....and helpful:

TRADITIONAL BREAKFAST IN BED,
(jake started this when i was preggo with tyler). SWEET MAN.
MOTHER'S DAY, 2012.
LUKE-5,
35 WEEKS PREGGO.
TYLER-6
  PAISLEY-3

"the emotional component is more important than practicing squatting positions or back rubs. The way you feel about what is happening to you in pregnancy and during childbirth will affect your ability to remain relaxed, deal with pain and discomfort and make informed decisions. One of the indicators of a woman's successful natural childbirth is her confidence in her ability to give birth. No one can give you confidence in your body, in the birth process or in yourself. You have to find your own sources of strength, and know how to use them during childbirth."  ~Jennifer Vanderlaan &; Birthing Naturally~

LOVELY DISHES
THAT MY MIDWIFE DROPPED OFF THE OTHER DAY.
so sweet of her.

I AM OBVIOUSLY NO EXPERT and do not pretend to be.  I only want to share my experiences and insights from my point of view in regards to laboring and delivering at home.  For me it has been such a positive journey.  Oftentimes I've hesitated talking about homebirth here on my blog for various reasons.  But I love the idea of birthing at home, (with low risk pregnancies) and want to share my positive experiences.  i may write about it more as time allows, but for now i will simply say how EXCITED i am to go into labor.  Such an amazing experience.  To think, this body carried this baby, from a simple little seed into a full grown baby and now it gets to deliver this baby into our arms.  the continuation of a generation. what a MIRACLE.  i feel it more, even deeper this time because of my previous miscarriages and the realization that my "baby" days might be over.  Also, this may be the last time i ever carry a baby so every stage is savored, if you will. please don't foolishly think i'm floating around in pregnant delight, i'm not.  however, i'm squeezing the sweetness that i can from the fruit i've been given. 

POOLSIDE ON MEMORIAL DAY, 2012.
36 WEEKS. 

"....swollen bellied and lumbering, wondering, waiting.

Sitting on a nest, anticipating cracking and emergence, seems highly preferable, however, to powerful contractions wringing you out in attempt to thrust an 8 pound being from within.

During the night watches last night, irregular contractions prodding me to wakefulness, I wanted to walk.

Walk and walk and walk. Far away from my skin, from impending pain, from the inevitable.

But walking would only intensify the pain, bring it on faster, strengthen the contractions.

I smiled in the darkness. Running away from pain always does that. Intensifies it, magnifies it, amplifies it.

Better to be like a hen. Nestle in. Sit tight. Cluck a bit. Stay on the nest. Stick with it."  

~ann voscamp~

it will not be easy, but it will be beautiful.

it will take and give at the same time. 

it will break me open and bring life.

isn't that what being human is all about though? 

to be broken and made all at once?

"The birthing of a baby is the deliverance of a message from God. About His passion for humanity....We were all babies, all crying, brilliant pink, unclothed, flailing miniatures of the divine, created in His image. The ticking of the clock shrouds that truth, the process of becoming civilized whisks that fact under its rustling robes of sophistication and “maturity”. But these are mere guises for who we all are….bundles of crying humanity wanting to be held, soothed, rocked."
~ann voscamp~

annual garage sale.

we made it through another year. 

another crazy purging-of-stuff.

my sweet friend jess and i met at one my first sales and we've been putting them together every year since. 

after it was all over she sent me this message;

"i. love. you. That we can have a yard sale together every year and come away still dear friends I think is a testament of our friendship! We made it J.! Until next year!"

it's always a bit crazy getting everything together, 

arranged, set up, sold, cleaned up....but we keep doing and enjoying it!

here are a few pics from the day:

let the shopping begin. 

 "3 cousins bake shop"

(and their little admirer still clad in pj's). 

our neighbor cub runs a coffee shop.

he set up his station on our front porch.

bless his heart, it was a hot weekend so i don't know that he had

as much success as anticipated.

but it was a nice touch to the sale.

you're welcome back caleb, your coffee was delish!!

had to get a laugh out of "scruffty" the dog, in his superman getup, just chilling. one of the boys had set him up here.

i had tyler take his precious dog inside once i saw it, 

don't need an "accidental sale" of his precious, lifetime dog! 

(he packs him into his backpack every.single.day) 

until next year.....

"God gives every bird its food, 

but He does not throw it into its nest.

  ~J.G. Holland~

luke's imagination

So, the other day as I was organizing with my favorite labels, (my newest pastime/borderline obsession).....Luke comes upstairs and wants me to take pictures of all his "pretend guys."

I love this kid. 

For the next 30 minutes this guy came up with the outfits/poses/faces/names of his pretend world:

"BIKER GUY"

"PIRATE MAN"

"INDIA"

"ROCK STAR"

(you'll notice the attention to detail here: his Daddy's silver necklace and the changing into his rock guitar shirt)!  

"WORKER GUY"

"BASEBALL PLAYER"

"It is a happy talent to know how to play."

  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

sweet as sugar.

the bassinet is all ready to go.

just waiting for life. 

it sits at the foot of our bed, the first thing i see when i open my eyes. 

i still can hardly believe we're having a baby.

a sweet as sugar baby. 

"A man is not where he lives, 

but where he loves."

  ~Latin Proverb~

happy mother's day!

 came upon some old pictures the other day. 

they resonated with me because i am my mother now, 

caring for young children, 

carrying a baby. 

I remember her almost always letting me "help" or at the least, "watch" her in the kitchen.  Here she is making applesauce, washing, peeling and coring the apples to begin the process.  

Dinner time was important. 

Everyone around the table.

together. 

I still don't know how she did it, 

meal after meal after meal for all those growing bodies, (4 sons)

and my Dad.  Filling their bellies with so much love.

 Made from scratch delights. 

I think we're singing a song here, (my sister Fan has her singing face on).  :)

We often sang our prayers, as we now do today around our table. And in the middle of it all, a little jar with a fresh pink flower. 

Not sure if that was my Mother's doing, but it's the little things that were, (and still are) important in making a house a home.  

Even just a simple bud in a vase.  

The dishes at this table now belong to me, our "everyday" dishes that Mom was going to sell at a garage sale one year, I bought them from her, ever the business woman, she wasn't about to give them away....even to her own daughter!!  Now I feed my children with them.  The circle of life. 

(side note: that's me on her lap, and boy, does that face ever look familiar, I see it in my girl when she's forced to listen, or stay at the table against her wishes....I think that's what's happening here as well)!!  

So many lunches to pack.

The broom rests on the wooden chair.

She flies around the corner getting things done 

at the speed of life.

The sun has not yet risen.

THOSE HANDS have worked so hard in her lifetime, raising 8 children under her care; providing comfort, gardening, cooking, baking her famous sho-fly pies, cleaning, writing handwritten letters, serving, praying, milking cows, canning, giving her newborn grandchildren their first baths, feeding armies of people, collecting lovely dishes, and the list goes on. 

a legacy of love, 

hard work 

and gratitude.

thank you doesn't seem enough. 

BIRTHDAY BREAKFAST WITH OUR MOM. 

"kettle sings a morning song,

the bacon's frying, babies crying

I soak up the sights and sounds.

Minutes turn to days and I wish that I could 

slow it down.

Time is a thief I would rob."
~Lady Antebellum~

YARD SALE THIS WEEKEND!

YOU'RE INVITED TO OUR ANNUAL YARD SALE EXTRAVAGANZA THIS WEEKEND! 
(there won't be nearly as many vendors as previous years so please don't expect an entire yard full!  However, there will still be LOTS of great deals!!)

friday, 4pm-7pm

saturday, 8am-2pm

LOTS OF BEAUTIFUL ITEMS FOR YOUR HOME AND LIFE!  

*furniture

*vintage pretties

*tablecloths

*dishes

*toys

*books

*lamps
*sheet sets
*comforters

*pillows

*curtains
*beautiful cushioned bench
*lovely desk
*wrought iron bistro set
* treadmill
*purses
*clothing and shoes
*baked goods
*our very own coffee barista ready to take your orders! 

HOPE TO SEE YOU HERE!!! 

and here's a little something just to make you 
CRY WITH LAUGHTER:

little touches around home.

I use to clean one house a week, (besides my own), I did this for years and it's been a great little side job.  However, with my ever growing body, it's become increasingly difficult so I decided to stop working and it's been the greatest decision I've made....not to mention how GRATEFUL I am that I have that OPTION, to stay home full-time.  

There's been a bit more energy to "spare" without my extra work load, I forgot how nice it was to not have any plans all.week.long.  To wake up each morning knowing that no one, (OUTSIDE MY HOME) expects anything of me or needs me.  It's great!  Of course, there's all kinds of expectations and needs right within our four walls, but I signed up for those!  :)  I told Jake the other day the 3 words I hear the most each day are, "Mom, I'm hungry!"   

Here's a little peek into some 

touches around home....

Bedside blossoms. 

Lily of the Valley is one of my favorite flowers, 

sometimes at night I will hold that little vase right up to my nose and just breathe it in....

My friend Angie found some vintage aprons at goodwill thought of me, (love my friends so much)!  The collection grows on....and is used daily.  I like to match my apron to what I'm wearing that day.  The baskets were treasures found at my favorite local thrift store.  My brother delivered some fresh oranges from California and my Mom dropped off some strawberry jelly she made for us, all on the same day.  xoxo. feelin' the LOVE for sure.  The thankfulness I have for my family overwhelms me at times.  We have SO MUCH when we have someone to love and someone that loves us!  Community. 

 I present to you the disappearing toe act!

Doves built a nest in our kitchen flowerbox!

It's been so special watching these mates-for-life build their little home.  The daddy dove would bring twigs to his lady and put them in her mouth and then she would position them around herself.  They don't seemed too bothered by me opening and closing the window, doing the dishes right inside or yelling out at the kids.  We just stand there and stare at each other, both waiting on our babies to arrive and I'll admit I talk to her, feel kind of a bond with her as she makes her nest cozy and I do the same.  Her name is Dovie.  It's the place I spend most of my time, that ninety degree  corner that consists of my sink/stove/countertop so it's nice to have "company."  Yes, I talk to birds.  Lock me up. There are 2 eggs there so far, she lays them at night.  Yesterday the Daddy dove was sitting there for most of the day/night.  Jake said the Mama dove was out shopping all day!  hahaha!

This is not my house. 

However, I am quite inspired by what I see. 

I'd like to get our kitchen table painted cream or white, but not sure if that's going to be a mistake.  I love the mix-matched chairs the most. 

Lovie's nursery is on it's way to completion!  

Can hardly wait to share it with you. 

Here's Jake assembling the vintage Jenny Lind crib we found on craigslist.  It was blue, but I spray painted it yellow....more details with the full reveal.  Bless his heart, crib assembly can make you cuss or scream, neither of which took place, (he's got way more patience then I do). On the right is the bookshelf that I lined with wrapping paper found at Target.  Love the pattern and color. 

Found just what I was looking for at a garage sale.  This little side table.  A sweet old man loaded it in my truck telling me about how he had built it.  I noticed his hands, so strong and weathered.  It was $3.  The crates were also at his sale, $2 for the small "cooper" one and $3 for the large "Pepsi" one.  The lamp shade was also from a yard sale.  Sweet ruffles. Ok, I'm getting too detailed for this post....moving on. 

The over-the-crib collage. 

This room is quickly becoming one of my favorites in the house. 

Cannot wait to bring LIFE into it.....

33 weeks today!!!! <------ That's a link to my favorite week-by-week pregnancy site. Feeling wonderful, but tiring easily.  I've been experiencing some numbness in my left arm/wrist lately which was concerning until I read this.  When I sleep, I don't think I really sleep....my body is still working 'round the clock to grow this sweet baby.  I've been waking up the past week and literally feeling like I've grown in my sleep, (which has been confirmed by those that see me each week)!  I see their expressions and hear their words, "you've popped"!  GROW BABY GROW!!!  no complaints here!  

"Optimist: someone who isn't sure whether life is a tragedy or a comedy but is tickled silly just to be in the play."  

~Robert Brault~