She ran out to the road on Friday.
I was getting ready to head out with the children and the boys had gone out to the car. I had asked them to get their flops on and buckle themselves in. Paisley was in the bathroom with me. I was putting on my makeup and the next thing I heard was the screen door slamming and a few seconds later Tyler and Luke screaming. I looked out the blinds from my upstairs bathroom window and saw Paisley walking toward the road. It all happened so fast, as most accidents do. I ran/fell down the steps and out the doors.
A truck had stopped in the middle of the road and she was about to step onto the road. Tyler was crying and Luke was screaming. I grabbed her and sat down right there, just sobbing. Paisley was crying now too. Some landscapers that were working directly across the street had made their way over as well, apparently they had seen this all unfolding and were running to her from the opposite side of the road. I think this is also why she was headed that direction, seeing people working across the street.
We all came inside and I just cried and cried and thanked God over and over and over for keeping her safe and sparing her life.......our life. I talked with the boys about how God and His angels were watching over her. I talked to each of the boys individually about what they saw and how they felt and the scary feelings they were having. "I don't want her to go to heaven" said Tyler.
This is not the first time we've had this happen, living so closely to the road.
Tyler did this same thing two days before Luke was born.
It's too much for us to think about.....what could have been. I'm struggling with guilt today, just the mere thought of what may have been on my shoulders. Why have we been spared this tragedy yet again?
I'm about ready to sell this house and move somewhere with a very.long.lane.
"We aren't guaranteed safety there either" said Jake.
Later in the morning Tyler and Luke brought me some little purple flowers that they had picked and placed in a plastic cup, "these are for you Mom 'cause you were brave and saved Paisley and we want you to be happy!" said Tyler. I was still crying and very upset.
During Paisley's nap I "happened" upon this blog, (certainly not by coincidence, this I know) a dear woman and her husband whose 18 month old baby girl "Preslee" died tragically this Summer. I recognize this could have been us.
None of us are immune from suffering,
deep, great suffering.
I am sharing this only to PROCLAIM GOD'S FAITHFULNESS TO US TODAY!!!! Had something terrible happened and we were on the other side of brokenness, God would still be faithful, we just wouldn't be able to see it so clearly.
And so on this NORMAL MONDAY MORNING in September I thank God again from the depth of who I am.
We are not in control of our lives,
Jake & Janelle, Tyler, Luke & Naomi Paisley.
Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.
Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.
Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.
Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so.
One day I shall dig my nails into the earth,
or bury my face in the pillow,
stretch myself taut,
or raise my hands to the sky and want,
more than all the world, your return.
~Mary Jean Iron~