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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

the mommy diaries

I've been reading a good book lately....well, maybe "reading" isn't the word, more like scarfing in the words of encouragement between nursing Paisley and teaching brothers how to get along!! "the mommy diaries ~ finding yourself in the daily adventure." The first 10 pages are basically FILLED with blue highlights, so I'll share a few with you that really encouraged/uplifted/challenged me. This being a Mom thing is hard....we need all the help we can get and this book, written by lots of Mommies everywhere, has been just what the Dr. order....or should I say the psychologist?? No, I kid....sort of!

(pictures from beach trip, May 2008 ~ Luke was 2 months old) "Once babies are born, priorities shift. No longer are we our first concern. And this is a good, growing, turning point. Our helpless infants become our raison d'etre, our reason for being. And while we are helping them grow emotionally, physically, and spiritually, it is so easy to neglect the same growth frontiers in our own lives. The result may not be pretty"
can I get a hardy amen here Sistas?? it continues reading: here are three little phrases that I have highlighted on one page: this may give you an idea of my last week!

"My unstable emotional cart tipped."
"I'd lost myself in the parenting equation."
"I took inventory."

"I knew I wanted to grow in my role as a mother. I hadn't realized that if I want to grow in my roles, I first needed to grow in my soul. My inventory revealed seriously bare emotional cupboards. My reading consisted of board books and occasionally a fast-food scripture, but no serious depth reading the nurtured my soul or emotional needs."
"With vigilance I guarded time each morning for my soul. To listen better, I started journaling for emotional, spiritual, and artistic health, taking notes on my soul, on my parenting mess-ups, on my disastrous attempts at wholeness. I practiced noticing sunsets and describing them, and I read everything possible out loud to the children. Journaling taught me to notice my needs, to practice honesty, and to work through emotional radioactivity."

"Who else are we, besides mothers?

What hopes and gifts nestle inside, buried treasure waiting for discovery?

Creating space to listen helps up to develop those gifts and hopes."
"I needed enormous practice in becoming----being the woman I was called to be, before a husband and children took up residence in my heart. It's a lifelong process. Thankfully, death is the only deadline." ~Jane Rubietta~

"I had to realize that being the mother of a baby is time-consuming and that each day showed little tangible proof of the hours of care and devotion to temporary things---that diapers and clothes just get dirty again, hours of crying bouts soothed soon begin again, and meals vanish except for the reminder left by the dirty dishes in need of washing. I needed to let go of my desire to have tangible evidence of my work and instead focus on something different: the importance of raising children who are loved and cared for." ~Elizabeth Selzer~
"God began showing me how I let the rush and panic of grown-up life pull be away from my Life Essentials."

So, I've begun staying up after Paisley-girls 6 am feeding. It's been, in one word, DELICIOUS. I never thought the day would come that I would prefer quiet over sleep, but that is truly the case right now. With Paisley consistently sleeping from 9pm-6am, I am a new woman of sorts. Sleep, (or the lack thereof) does astounding things to a human being! I don't always have the energy to stay awake, but when I do, it is ALWAYS, always worth it! An awakening shower, quiet cup of hot coffee and stillness....my soul is restored!
I pray that today or this week you too could find moments of soul-restoration. They may be few and far between, but they are there, waiting to be unearthed.

"I am a woman above everything else"
~Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis~

5 comments:

Jena said...

you got an amen from me SISTA!
God is so faithful to meet me and restore my soul... I love those quiet mornings, only now am I really beginning to understand why my mom always got up so early to be with the Lord...
You spoke words this morning that so resonated with me:
"You can only parent out of yourself for so long."
So true my friend, so true.

Kara Stoltzfus said...

AMEN!
HOLLA!

clarita barkman yoder said...

wow, janelle. there were tears standing in my eyes at the end of this blog! this is so where i'm at and i am blessed for reading your words and hearing your heart... thank you! and i want to read that book! i'm goung to try to order it from the library perhaps...

Bess said...

Oh Janelle!

As I sit here reading (and feeling weepy), my head is definitely shouting "AMEN!"

"...fast-food scripture..." All I can say is WOW. Thank you for this! Your post really touched me today.

Anonymous said...

WOW! your post brought tears to my eyes and an intense longing to be make that 'alone time' with God. With only 10 weeks to go til we meet our new baby boy, sleep most times wins over getting up to spend time with my Maker.

'Who else are we, besides mothers?
What hopes and gifts nestle inside, buried treasure waiting for discovery?'
Sounds like a book i need to get-i'm sure most of it would be highlighted ;o)

blessings today!
Ada