Some things I've been reading.

(My latest project, found at Goodwill for $1.97~I've been looking for one like this since Tyler was born, almost 6 years)!

it's been a week since my last post. that's rare, but was needed. I haven't been reading like I once did and the reason is because basically with all my "free time" I've been blogging on here, looking at other peoples blogs or thinking about what to blog.

It was getting to be too much for my soul. This blog will burn up some day as will the words/hours given it. I've been weighing whether I'm okay with that or not. Spending hours of my life giving to something that sometimes feels so *vain*carnal*earthly*. And yet, it is truly a hobby I so enjoy, a creative outlet and a place to gather my thoughts.

As of now I'm not leaving this "Blog Kingdom", so to speak....however I probably won't be posting 3-4 times a week like you are use to me doing. (What one can of cherry red spray paint can do)!

Here are a few quotes from the things I've been reading lately:

"My biggest fear, even now, is that I will hear Jesus' words and walk away, content to settle for less than radical obedience to Him. In other words, my biggest fear is that I will do exactly what most people did when they encountered Jesus in the first century.

SATISFACTION in our lives and success in the church are not found in what our culture deems most important but in radical ABANDONMENT to Jesus.

We had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable. Settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the CENTRAL MESSAGE of Christianity is actually ABANDONING OURSELVES."

~Radical by David Platt~

"Integrity. It's integratedness. It's walking your talk. It's being congruent, inside and out. it's having the courage to act in accordance with your values and beliefs. Integrity is essentially below the surface. It is the root system out of which everything else grows."
~The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey~

"ESTABLISH my steps and direct them.
Let not ANY iniquity have dominion over me.

Deliver me from the oppression of man;

so I will keep Your precepts.

Make Your face SHINE upon me,

and teach me."
Psalm 119

It feels like there is some INTENTIONAL WORK that needs/wants to be done in me. I don't know what that looks like or how it comes about. Certainly there is no formula, I've learned that long ago. There is a WILLINGNESS TO SURRENDER that leads to transformation, that I do believe. BUT WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE ON A DAILY BASIS? Sitting quietly in my corner chair with a cup of hot coffee, the birds singing songs to me and the Lord whispering through His Word isn't happening right now in the midst of life with a 5, 3 and 1 year old. HOWEVER, I AM NOT WILLING TO SURRENDER TO A STAGNATE TIME OF MERE EXISTENCE nor will I strive in my OWN STRENGTH AND UNDERSTANDING.

This, to me, is the BEAUTIFUL THING ABOUT OUR GREAT GOD....

His nearness is NOT DEPENDENT upon me,

upon

my works

my prayers

my uprightness.

HIS NEARNESS JUST IS.

And that is what stirs in me a heart of worship,

a song to my King for loving me JUST WHERE I AM, JUST HOW I AM.....and leading me gently, in His own creative ways to His hem.

Psalm 139:1-12, (my own version)

O Lord, you have searched me and known me, (oh, it feels so good to be known by someone). You know when I sit down and when I rise up; (which is about fifty thousand times each day and night, mostly to tend to my children's needs) you discern my thoughts from afar, (good, because I often can't discern my thoughts even when they are near)!
You search out my path and my lying down, (which I wish were more often)
and are acquainted with all my ways. (Even my grouchy ways)!
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. (uh-oh)
You hem me in, behind and before, (like a perfectly made pillow without any stuffing falling out) and lay your hand upon me.(thank you for Your beautiful faithfulness)
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it. (yet I long to know Your UNRELENTING LOVE).

(The rest of the verses are from the Message version)~

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight? (because just like my children, I can quickly get out of view)
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far western horizon, (which sounds pretty good to me right now)
You'd find me in a minute—
you're already there waiting! (such a comfort)
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; (and brokenness isn't brokenness to you, it's a great place to showcase what You do best~~RESTORE)
night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you."

"with unveiled face I will see Him.
There my soul will be satisfied."