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Monday, February 22, 2010

Creative Correction

I listened to this broadcast last week from Focus on the Family. I'm a new woman, well at least a new MOTHER for the time being. It's so great to ENCOURAGE OURSELVES when we have the time. So instead of thinking of all the other things I had to do after I was finished with the dishes, or allowing my mind to turn to selfish thoughts of being overworked and underpaid, I decided to actually FEED MY SOUL while I cleaned up the dinner mess. So, I went online and listened to Focus on the Family's broadcast from last week.

The author of this book was sharing~~

Here are the five things that stood out to me the most, in no particular order:

1.) Don't just correct the flesh~train the heart! So this would probably mean I should stop opening the "drawer" with lightening speed and breaking out the "stick" and so delicately lying it in PLAIN view for the next repeat offender! But to actually take 20 minutes and PARENT! Talk about what they did, why they did it, confess it, ask for forgiveness, pray. If I can find 20 minutes to blog each day, I can probably find 20 minutes to TRAIN MY CHILDREN!! ouch! *p.s. this isn't a forum to talk about how we agree/disagree with spanking, thanks*

2.) Do I correct just for CONTROL in my home? What is my parental attitude, (yes, we have them, all of us Moms and Dads out there, we.have.our.own.attitude.problems, well I DO anyway). Lisa said something that really RESONATED WITHIN ME~~~"sometimes I resort to yelling, or just ignoring it for my own peace, MY OWN COMFORT. Or I correct just for NO GODLY REASON, just because I want control in my home. And that unfortunately is so short-sighted. Sometimes our attitude is just PEACE AT ALL COSTS instead of the big picture which is training them to RESPOND to God. Yikes, that one stung!

3.) Even in the mistakes I make~God in His mercy can cover them and turn them for good in my children's lives. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who fears I am "messing up" or "not doing a good enough job" with my children. But if I am the only one, I'm sure glad I heard these words because they have encouraged my Mother heart.

4.) Recognize our children have their own choices to make~many people refer to that verse about training up a child in God's ways and they will not depart from it when they are older. And yet, there are beautiful families that have children who do not walk with God. We must recognize that we have done our best to raise them according to God's ways. You cannot take the blame and get under that heavy load of guilt or it will break you. As my sister said well last week, "we cannot take the glory and we cannot take the blame!" In the midst of all of this, it takes me to number five.

5.) Stay on your knees.

Here is my prayer for myself today, from my heart through my fingers, you can pray it along with me in agreement or you can pray it over your own household....or you can click that x in the upper right hand corner of your screen and call it a day!!

"Lord~You have given me these children, called them into THIS home and saw a good thing when you made me their Mom. Please help me to train them according to Your ways and not mine. Fill me again today with the fruits of Your sweet Presence so that they can learn about patience and kindness through my example. Quicken me to see the teachable moments in this day, this week....not just for my children, but for me, mostly for ME! Bring your peace into this home through me, through my actions and reactions. I want to be LIGHT within my four walls, not a dark, looming, stressed, angry Mom. Thank you for caring about me and about my children. You are a good Father and I trust You. Amen."

"Your children become what you are;
so be what you want them to be."
~David Bly~


Esther@fleurcottage said...

a genuine 'food for LOTS of thought' post! even grandmas need this...

Anonymous said...


Invited In said...

Amen Sister! Well said!!! Thank you for the encouraging words you left on my blog as well as the uplifting ones here on your blog!
Many blessings to you today!

If you have any questions about homeschooling drop me an email:)

Jena said...

interesting food for thought...

One of the things that has released me in my parenting is a more thorough and contextual interpretation of the scripture "train up a child"

The actual scripture is proverb, not a promise, which first gives us some freedom(meaning that is suggested as a wise/Godly idea, not as a "if this then this" promise from God)

Secondly if you go back to historical contextual meanings of the word, it actually is more based on a one time event than a lifelong training process for parents:
see here for a MUCH more thorough explanation(warning, it is a bit technical and uses original hebrew in the explanation) but it is very freeing to see how the original text was meant to apply...(IMHO)

Smokers in the Valley said...

I love to read your blog. I liked the thoughts on parenting that you just shared, as I "struggle" with many of those things myself. Sometimes I feel as being a parent brings to light all the imperfections you could so easily hide otherwise b/c mothers are under pressure of some sort nearly all the time. But one way to look at it is that a beautiful diamond is just a piece of "black coal" that was under pressure for a long period of time!!! Keep up the good work :)

Jessica Sue said...

I went onto Focus on the Family the other week to bring some refreshment to discipline and she had an excerpt of her book on there... Let me just say that after I started implementing some things, my attitude changed in the way I discipline and Taryn's attitude (and Mason's, but moreso hers) has changed after the discipline. Taryn is my stubborn girl who has told me from three on that spanking didn't hurt and let me just say, can she hold a grudge! :) But now, we are both so much better! It's amazing. I'll tell you what I've implemented if you ever want to know sometime (maybe over coffee or tea, since I haven't seen you in awhile!)
Love your soon to be very close neighbor,

Jena said...

had to comment again, love what your sis said, I have been thinking the same thought today as I parent...

"we cannot take the glory and we cannot take the blame!"

to take the glory is to walk in pride, and to take the blame is to walk in condemnation (taking responsibility is another thing altogether...)

Consume me... said...

Janelle...this book has been collecting dust on my book shelf for a few's yours if you'd like to have it!!! Several years ago Lisa came to the Bible Study I attend, and I remember reacting in a very similar way. I'd love to give the book to someone who could use it! Just say the word and I'll drop it by!

Dice Family of Strasburg said...

Isn't it funny to think that Blair from The Facts of Life grew up to be such a wise Christian woman?

Consume me... said...

I would LOVE to come and help you decorate/repurpose some things....but only if I can bring Emma so she can love all over your kids! You name the time and I'm there!