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Thursday, February 4, 2010

Pet peeves about poop

Let us begin this most lady-like post by giving you the definition of "pet peeve" according to Wikipedia: "A pet peeve (or pet hate) is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it."

As a Mother there are several pet peeves I have, here are the ones that have to do with poop:

1.) When I am scrubbing the toilet, scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing and thinking, "hmmm, maybe that's a new mark on the toilet, perhaps something fell onto the seat making this mark that will stay forever on the porcelain throne" only to scrub for one more nano-second and finally it gives up it's fierce grip. Then and only then do I realize that I have been scrubbing at someones piece of doo-doo for 45 seconds. Nasty. 2.) I finally decide to bathe my third born, she's fresh and clean and ready to hit the road.....perhaps even loaded into her seat. When with one strong grunt everything is undone. Not only is everything undone, I now have approximately 15 minutes of clean-up added to my day, not to mention the next 10 minutes entirely devoted to removing a onesie loaded with poo. It's a tricky thing and I've only now "mastered" getting a poo filled onesie over the head of my baby without leaving a yellow trail up the back and into the hair. Although there often is poo up the back already so it wouldn't really matter anyway. 3.) The potty trained child has finished his great deed for the day. He calls out to his Mother for help in removing any left over debris in the crack, (gross, but true). The dutiful Mother that I am quickly cleans him up, makes sure he washes his hands, (most of the time) and does the same herself. Minutes later there is a linger that surrounds only her. Questioning the situation she realizes that indeed a micro-bead of her childs poo has gotten on her finger and buried it's nasty, stinky self under her fingernail. And so, my finger smells like poo for the rest of the day no matter how hard I scrub, cut, file or lather with "love spell" lotion from Victoria's S. Nice. And so there you have it, my three pet peeves about poop.
Just keepin' it real here in blog land!

Have a happy Thursday!!!

11 comments:

Glenn said...

Nice! I can relate.

One Sunday morning about 12-13 years ago Mel was working and I was planning on taking Alison to church by myself. When she woke up I went in to her room and found her standing in her crib COVERED IN POOP!! She took off her jammies, onsie, and diaper and proceeded to fingerpaint herself and "gel" her hair! She was grinning from ear to ear and enjoying every minute of it.


Thinking no one would believe me, I ran for the camera. Only later did realize there was no film in it!

I lathered, rinsed, repeated, Changed the water, lathered, rinsed, repeated a few times and made it to church on time!

Jeane` said...

I laughed in completely relating, specifically regarding the poop under the fingernail thing. Perhaps in the sniffing of the finger for the offensive smell, a miniscule trace is left under the nostril. That's been my theory anyway.

Fun, relatable reading! Are you taking a creative writing course, by any chance???

Michelle said...

That's laugh out loud funny - not while you're cleaning it all up - but you know, after the fact!

Sarah Gingrich said...

I hear you, and add to that the joy/misery of cloth diapering...

; )

Adrienne said...

Oh my gosh, I am laughing out loud. You're so funny!! :)

Chrisy said...

i thoroughly enjpyed this! <3

Laura said...

hi Janelle! I know it's been probably 9 years since I last saw you, and you may not remember me, but I am laura Breneman, now Zuck, and I was friends with Dawn and Erica. And I know your brother Tom. he stops out and sees us occasionally when he has a haul to Nogales. He told me about your blog and I finally found it this week. So glad I did, it's great to read about other moms and their day to day adventures, and know I am not the only one! :)

The lady of the house... said...

isn't it nice to know we aren't alone??

Laura! Of course I remember you. Are you on facebook? Maybe we could reconnect further via that outlet. Isn't Tom just the sweetest guy ever, (next to my husband of course)!! Really, he is so genuine and real, qualities that are lacking in most men these days!! So glad you left a comment, looking forward to "talking" more!
Janelle

Laura said...

This has nothing to do with your post on poop, although I can totally relate to that, but your post about your second son, having him at home before the midwife got there, brought a smile to my face. We had the same situation with our second born. She came before our midwife got there too! Must be something about the second. Anyway, I've actually blogged about all three of my homebirths, and you can read them at lanne1979.blogspot.com and just click under 2008. Each one is titled the name of my children, Alaina, Larissa and Charlotte. I will definitely have to look up Paisley's.

Nichole said...

It was so nice to meet you tonight at Girls Night Out at The Worship Center. You are so sweet and once again I really enjoy reading your blog! :) Nichole
nla1985@hotmail.com

TSM said...

Fabulous. Just fabulous. :)