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Saturday, June 25, 2011


What a beautiful night we had last nightRemembering well the fresh word that I felt spoken to me, to "let my kids bring healing to me" we headed to a place of JOY.  A local carnival was underway so we loaded up the kids and set out. 

It was such a beautiful night, the Summer air blew gently, just enough to be comfortable with a light sweater on.  The kids were so delighted to be there and us too.  Paisley got a balloon upon entering, tied onto her wrist. She danced all night with that balloon, (until Tyler knocked her down in the middle of the dirt and she fell on it and it popped)! 

It was another level of healing for me, just watching the kids LIVE LIFE!!  I saw a few friends there that night, they were so kind to me.  (Thank you Ang and Adrienne).  Kindness is such a strong characteristic of our Jesus.  He has a great personality! 

I knew I needed to get OUT OF THE HOUSE, (showered and dressed and presentable). Our truck was in the garage most of the week so we were "stuck" here and that was ok with healing physically.  But the kids were getting restless with all my restlessness.  You know how it goes, Mama's attitude rubs off quite quickly on the kiddos! I was feeling for them because I was quite the grouch the last few days, tired and irritable and emotional.  They don't understand what's going on, (we're not telling them about this miscarriage, they had a hard enough time understanding it the first time) 

And so going to a place of joy was just the ticket.  Speaking of tickets.  Jake knew the lady in charge of the bouncy houses so she escorted our children from one bouncy house to the next when there was no line and the kids just bounced the night away!  And then the man who was in charge of the pony rides was Jake's cousin, so he too gave the kids free pony rides!  There was no line and barely anyone there so it was not bothersome or offensive to anyone else.  But it was a blessing to us that's for sure, (with each ticket costing $1/person for one ride, it was a gift to us).  I ate the BEST CARAMEL APPLE I ever had, (and I've eaten alot of them in my life).  There was a rock band there and the kids danced in the yard until the sun set.  A nice old man walked up to Paisley and gave her a stuffed animal, oh, she was so happy. 

It was a lovely night, but it had a different awareness for me, stepping back and really taking the night in. I'm writing about it because I want to remember it, the details of it, the beauty in it.  Again, the Lord, oh HE'S SO GOOD, met me very personally.  I was looking for Him though, that always helps.

There's a song playing on my ipod right now and the words are singing:

"Don't let your eyes get use to darkness, The light is coming soon. Don't let your heart get used to sadness, put your hope in what is true. No matter how the wind may blow it cannot shake the sun. Lay your sorrows on the ground,it's time to come back home.
When the future seems uncertain, like the coming of a storm
Your loving Father carries his children when they can't walk anymore."

~JJ Heller~


Ang Stoltzfus said...

life is a gift.
our children are gifts.
i see you cherishing both~as the simple joys of your children wash over your pain & in return are bringing strength to your heart. such a sweet sweet word that God spoke to you!

Anonymous said...

let the healing begin.
i pray you find joy & healing in the everyday moments of life, with your earthly children.

even in the midst of sadness, sorrow & grief there is MUCH to be thankful for. i am reminded of this on a daily basis, as i continue to struggle with my own grief & loss. you are blessed with a wonderful & healthy family and god has given you so much. (i know you know this, but it is worth repeating!)

let healing shower of you!

mommajoe said...

i've been reading a book that you might enjoy is one of the best that i have ever read. it is called "one thousand gifts" by ann voskamp. it is so full of wisdom. i have learned so much from it. eucharisteo!