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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

is anyone free?

"Who is free? Who is living out the life they talk so much about?" I cried these questions into my towel one night after my shower.  After a difficult few weeks in dealing with a personal situation I have finally come to the place where I can cry it out.  That's always healing for me, to just CRY.  That release for me always starts the questions though, the sorting out. So, I'm up early, (6:30am) to digest a little bit in my soul. To me, to our home, that's "early". 

Sometimes, (alot of times) it feels like so many people around me, (myself included) like toTALK about this life as a Christian; what is should look like, what it looks like in their life, what Jesus says it should look like.  And I know I'm not the only one who sees this, hears this, all this talking.talking.talking.  In all honesty, it just gets OLD.  I'm like a child in this, SHOW ME what it is your talking about. Just be quiet and show me what true freedom looks like, A LIFE LIVED OUT LOUD.  

There are so many of us, in the church, who are walking in such deep bondage, tormented.  And yet, no one to tell, no one to share with, no one to cry out to because we must be as the church perceives us to be, "together", "perfect."   And it's not just the church, it's our culture in general, (at least where we live). In our culture you are suppose to have it all together and not look undone.  Looking undone isn't comfortable or nice or pleasant for people to interact with, so we just shut-up and stay bound up. 

So, that's what brought me around to the beginning of this conversation, (or monologue is more like it, thanks for sticking with me if you're still reading).....who is free?  Will ANY OF US on earth truly know freedom, (SPIRIT/SOUL FREEDOM) while walking around in these dusty bodies?  Maybe we just get closer to that freedom as we understand it more, as we understand ourselves and the One Who made us and calls us.

"You will be ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (that's one ever for every year I've been a Christian) HEARING,  and NEVER UNDERSTANDING;
you will be ever seeing but NEVER PERCEIVING.
For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, UNDERSTAND WITH THEIR HEARTS and turn, AND I WOULD HEAL THEM." 

Just a little bit of what Paul had to say to remind the religious folks....  (Acts 28:26-27)

Paul was reminding ME of this. Janelle, don't be ever hearing and never understanding.
Don't be ever seeing and never perceiving. 

God of my spirit, please give me SPIRITUAL ears to hear and eyes to see. Help my heart to understand what You're saying to ME, how You're directing ME, how You're calling out FOR MY FREEDOM, for MY HEALING, for my UNDERSTANDING.  

not for ourselves, but FOR YOUR GLORY!!!!!!!!!

Amen, (so be it).


Jena said...

truth my friend. here's to living loud in the light! no matter what the cost...
love you so so much!

Vickie said...

You're right, Girl. Jesus came to SET US! He came to redeem and restore, all that is broken, all that is lost. That includes all bits of our lives. As we live authentic lives, He is able to work in us and through us...bringing healing to the lost and the found. Authentic... Transparent... Humble... how we should be walking, living, then talking!


Sarah said...

I loved this post! You are speaking TRUTH that doesn't get spoken nearly enough, and I hope you are experiencing your freedom in the speaking! Thank you for blessing me with your words today...your blog is wonderful, you should write a book! :)

Anonymous said...

So happy to hear this! One gift of loss is that seemingly u are suddenly so much more aware of the gifts you've already been given and u soak 'em up!! So grateful for heaven too! We'll be hanging out with our babies before long! God bless u thro the good, peaceful moments where u feel rich closeness with your Creator and in those moments when u wonder why He choses to give then take away. He is faithful!! Lena Stoltzfus