Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing,
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted
and never worried about how I late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and teeth everyday. Before I was a Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on
Spit on
Peed on
Or pinched my tiny fingers. Before I was a Mom
I had complete control over my thoughts, my body and my mind.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby
just because I didn’t want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart
outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small
could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night,
Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known
The warmth
The joy
The love
The heartache
The wonderment
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much
Before I was a Mom.